Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Bullying is Bullshit, but how do you deal with it?

This post is something a little off beat for me but it has been on my mind for a few weeks now and I feel it necessary to voice my opinion.


Please remember that this is my opinion and should not in any way make you like or not like someone.

A few years back there was a young girl that had been bullied to the point in which she killed herself because she could not take it any longer. This happened not that far away from our little home town in Central Mass.

Within a few months the state of Massachusetts filed bills and then an anti bullying law.

I can’t say that this has helped at all but it definitely has made more people aware of the repercussions of what their actions may have on others.

I need to emphasize more and not all.

Bullying SUCKS! You see it everywhere and you hear about it all the time.

The other night at dinner my 10 year old announced that he thought I was being bullied in the work place. This made me chuckle a little but then realize that he was probably right. The problem is that whether you believe in your HR department or not, there really is nothing that you can do about it. Bullying is everywhere and your company calls it hostile work environment but as soon as you become a whistleblower you can pretty much pack your desk because you are not long for that job.

There are a few instances that have led to this post. The first needs to go back 14 months.

In my job, my sole responsibility was to create a new form of account management for “groups” of people. We had two options before, one was for the individual and the other was for an institution.

Groups of 10-25 people that worked under the same umbrella but did not have the same shared services did not get discounted pricing as that of the institution. This was recognized and I was hired to develop said program. I started in the marketing department. When I started in 2009, it was a slow go at first but listening to customers and hearing what they wanted and needed set me on the right track to developing a strategy.

At the end of 2010, I was responsible for $2+ million in both new and renewal sales. I was without a VP at the time and so the VP of sales fought to have me transferred into his department. This transfer took place without any consulting with me, it was decided that the position would be moved and hence me with it.

I continued to grow my numbers so that by the end of the first quarter 2011 I was on target for $3 mil in sales and drowning in work. I came in in the morning and sometimes didn’t leave until 7 or 8 at night. Many weekends I worked at home to try and catch up a little, at least keep my head above the water. This was looked at by superiors as a strong work ethic. It was looked at by my 12 year old minded coworkers as being a suck up.

Parties were taking place and I was not invited. Lunch dates took place and I was not being included. I really didn’t mind because I had nothing in common with these boys that were all about sports.

I requested that my cubicle be moved because sitting right across from the kitchen next to the door to leave was very distracting to me. Many times I placed on my earphones so that I could get through the work I had with limited distractions. Oh, this made me the unsociable bitch. I was okay with that.

When I moved I was all by myself over in the corner of the office with no distractions. Then a few things happened.

We laid off two coworkers that were underperforming on the team to make way for 4 new hires that were going to be coming on in different roles. Two of these hires were supposed to be for me. Imagine how that went over, the unsociable bitch got two people laid off to have two people hired for her team.

Then the announcement was made that new hires were going to need new places to sit. The office was moved around and I received a neighbor.

I have since learned that this neighbor is a bully. I have seen her alienate a gentleman (we will call him H-Man) in this department that she did not like. I am not exaggerating when I say only 2 people in this department of 25 or so talk to this man. I am one and the other is another gentleman that was hired at the same time that H-Man was. I need to point out that H-Man and this other were hired the week before I was transferred into this department. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

I have heard this bully say some pretty nasty things about others and have had many occasions where I have heard her comment about how boring it is over by me. I have also seen her roll her eyes on many occasions when I speak.

Just before moving into this department I had heard that someone had been fired from here. I heard her side of the story and then others and you will never guess who the ring leader was in getting this other person fired. Darn it, you guessed, it was the bully.

I continue to be the unsociable bitch because I continue to have way too much work than should be for one person but I am working on this. I have witnessed this two faced little bitch on way to many occasions say things derogatory about the company and management and then bat her eyelashes and fake whitened smile when they ask her questions.

I wrote this post for two reasons. 1 to get it off my chest and 2 to point out that bullies are everywhere. Mean girls are everywhere.

I want to teach my children that bullying is wrong and you need to be sensitive about people’s feelings but I also want to make sure that they know bullying doesn’t stop in school, it continues throughout your life. You need to be the stronger person and it will allow you the opportunity to shine in the eyes of those that matter.

Monday, February 13, 2012

You don't know it but this is for you.

Sometimes you just need to give someone the finger.


I, my cubicle neighbor, give you the finger.

Sometimes you need to put that finger out there in the universe just to make yourself feel a little bit lighter.

There, I feel better now. Back to your regularly scheduled reading of blogs that won’t kill you.