Thursday, December 29, 2011

What is in a name?

Happy Thursday Everyone,


I have started this post like three different times and still not sure how to start my newest blog rant.

I mentioned in my birthday post about my in laws but today I am going to give you some background.

I looked over the past posts and noticed that I write all about my brothers, their families and things that happen with my kids but don’t ever think that I wrote about my in laws.

Today I start with the patriarch of the family.

Dick!

No seriously, that is his name, Dick.

Dick is an extremely angry man. When I say extremely, I think maybe I am understating it just a little.

Dick had a horrible childhood. Dick is a veteran of the Vietnam War. Dick should have gotten over his anger many years ago but lately it has come back and come back with a vengeance.

Dick was 5 when his father was stationed overseas during World War whatever. His mother was an alcoholic who did not come home for days at a time because she was out on drinking binges. When Dick was this age he had three younger siblings to watch as well. He would rob stores and beg neighbors for food. At the breaking point the baby who was under 1 year old died of malnutrition and Dick carried its lifeless body to the police station for help.

The state came in took the kids and separated them in different locations. His brother and himself went to one orphanage and then were taken in by different family members. So all three living children were separated and raised by others. This angered his brother to the point that R didn’t speak to Dick for the rest of his life.

Dick was raised by Stella. Stella was a mean and nasty woman. I only have personal experiences with this woman but I am told that her meanness was something that she always had. Dick was a burden that she took in and her husband was the one who showed any feelings for him. Funny thing is Stella was Dick’s blood and Charlie was not.

My MIL met Dick when they were younger and they have been together and with no one else ever since. I mean he was her only boyfriend and vice versa. They had two children and now three grandchildren.

Dick has been sick for the past few years and it all started with chipping a bone in his elbow which infected. The infection went into the spinal column and into the ear. He had stents placed into his body for blockages. The infection caused so much damage that he has since lost all of his teeth. He lost his cochlea and now has a cochlea implant in order to hear.

For a few years we thought the anger had subsided but lately it is back and it is back with so much anger behind that new anger, my husband and I am not sure how to handle it. We have started talking to the boys about the behavior, the horrible remarks, and the nasty nasty comments about me.

Remember how yesterday I said that I was making the next year all about ME? Well it starts with my in-laws.

I found out Christmas night that my father in law thinks that I put my job before my family. He brought up to my husband the other day that I think that my job is more important than my MIL otherwise I would not ask her to put my kids on the school bus when I have an early morning meeting.

Funny thing is…I haven’t done that for 2 years.

I think the anger is coming back stronger because he is losing his capabilities.

What exactly are the early warning stages of dementia or Alzheimer’s?

I am not letting my FIL get to me. I don’t care that he thinks that I put my job first. My job is the reason why we have a roof over our head and food on the table to eat. My job pays our health insurance and our dental insurance. My job is the reason that we are able to drive back and forth to all of the places that our kids need.

I deserve the fact that I have a good job. I stayed home and raised my children up until they could wipe their own butts, clean their own teeth, and step onto that school bus without my holding their hand.

I deserve to be the one out earning a living using the skills that I have.

I like to be able to buy myself a pair of shoes on occasion and not feel like I am robbing heat from my children. Gosh Darn It! I deserve it!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Coming out slowly...

It has certainly been a crazy couple of months. I wanted to say weeks but in actuality it has been months.


I want to be able to move forward so I am going back a few.

I got some help in my job April 1st that was not really help. In actuality, it was worse because I spent 4 months training this SFB to have him tell me on July 27th that he was ready to work. To make a long story really short, SFB told me that he had “mentally dumped” everything that I trained him on because he had another thing on his mind the last two months.

I had a major car accident the end of September that caused me some major issues physically as well as mentally.

I got some new help on 10/17 but needed to go on a trip immediately after he started. This had SFB training him and it took me three weeks to undo everything SFB did.

My birthday came and went and well we all know how that went if you read it.

Christmas has now come and gone and here I sit for the first time in ages with a little spare time.

We had the best Christmas day ever. I mean the hubby, the boys, and myself.

Jelly is now 18. He bought a used car back in the summer and is learning how expensive it is to keep. It is a used convertible that leaks when it rains. For Christmas he asked for nothing but got, a GPS system, a waterproof car cover, clothes, gas cards, and his favorite present…a bass guitar.

Peanut, who is now 15, asked for an iPod touch. He got it along with clothes and a crap load of gift cards.

Butter, who is 10, asked for Lego’s and that is what he got. A ton of them and he was so excited.

My husband and I usually buy stocking gifts for the kids and this year we decided to spend the money and buy them something that they all wanted. So we splurged and bought an Xbox360 for them.

My kids have never had a new gaming system so this was very exciting to them.

So now that brings me to the present and onward to the future. I have seen in the past where a lot of people spend the week posting all of the good changes that they are going to be making and others with their resolutions.

All I am saying is that 2012 is the year of ME! I am sick of being walked on and treated like crap. I started caring only about my own health and well being. I have started caring only about what my immediate family needs or wants. I am continuing with that same trend.

To start the new year, I am taking the family on a trip to the mountains with some good friends.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Not a Merry Christmas post...A true Bubble post.

Merry Christmas Everyone.


This is a warning to anyone who may believe that this is a happy post. For anyone and for those who may have been following me from the beginning of time, you know that this is MY bubble and you are not welcome here if you cannot understand that sometimes there needs to be a place to go where you can bitch and not be judged.

There may be a day in the near future where I can tell you about how special a day this was for husband, my boys and myself, but that all happened prior to 6 p.m. Backing up slightly, it kind of took a speed bump around 3 went downhill around 6.

#1 was not feeling well today. He and his wife showed up at my mom’s and #1 had a raging sore throat and was stuffed up. In my opinion, you say “I really would have loved to come but was sick”. Seriously, with 40 or so people crammed into a 3 bedroom ranch, germs are going to fly. I don’t need your germs and neither does my house, least of all my 73 year old mother.

Around 5 or so, #8 showed up with his girlfriend, of this year and at that time #1, his wife, my husband, my kids, my mom, and I were the only ones there.

#5 had decided this year that he would come by early and gift my mom and drop off the grab presents that he and his girlfriend (second year for her but I got a good one for you maybe later in the week about that). He was gone already.

#7 was next to show up with his wife and children. Not long after that #6 and his family appeared. The only ones we were waiting for was #2 and his crew. They were not long after coming and surprising to me, they came in two separate cars. His oldest 2 children came together and right behind them was he and his wife and daughter.

The living room was loaded up with presents and then the free for all started. The kids (all but mine) ran around the house playing tag. They drank and ate in the bedrooms. They pissed all over the toilet, walls and floor. They ground food into the furniture. All of this was going on while the mothers sat at the dining room table drinking wine. And lots of wine it was. I rinsed out 4 bottles to put in the recycling. In case you missed count on how many there were, there were 4. That means within a VERY short period of time my SILs drank a bottle of wine EACH. (#1’s wife shared her bottle of wine with my MIL and #1 so I can’t count her in on this.)

Wait a minute; I skipped ahead just a little too far. But #1 gave out his gifts to the kids and took off because he was seriously too sick to stay.

My mom gave out her gifts to the kids and then one by one the brothers and their families showered my mom with gifts.

Because we had already given my mom her gifts, my hubby, boys and I stepped outside to give the others some room. Butter mentioned that someone had spilled soda in the green bedroom and he went to find a towel. Now, I am not saying that my children are angels but looking back it slightly disturbs me that Butter cleaned up someone else’s mess.

Peanut and Jelly were with me the whole evening. They are 18 and 15 and a little too old to be playing with the littler kids.

#2’s oldest son’s baby mama (a long story for another day) showed up with the little guy and her dad. We all gathered back into the living room to exchange gifts. Remember now, this all started about 6 and my mom had not left the living room once. We exchanged our gifts and she got up to go the bathroom. She stepped into a puddle while lifting the toilet seat and found that all wet as well. Thinking that someone had had a problem, she opened the door to the green bedroom to find cake, cookies and candies all over the floor. She found soda spilled on her furniture and toys being thrown across the room and guess what…SHE FREAKED!

I don’t blame her. She started yelling at the kids and asking “What makes you think that you can come into my house and throw food and toys? I want this room cleaned NOW!”

#2’s wife grabbed both of her kids and stormed right out of the house telling my brother on the way by that she was not staying any longer and he was leaving too.

#6’s wife packed up her kids with a snide remark about the fact that she had her own house to clean and she was not staying to clean my mother’s. Oh, and stopped at my mom, looked at her and said, “You need to realize that they are just kids.”

#7 sat and told his kids that they had done nothing wrong and proceeded to pack them up to leave as well.

Here is where I kind of lose it myself…

I had Butter clean up all the toys, since he was in there with the other kids.

But…

My husband went in the bedroom and cleaned it up on his hands and knees.

My oldest son went immediately into the kitchen and started cleaning the dishes, counters, tables, chairs and everything else that needed to be done in there.

My middle son took the vacuum and vacuumed all the floors.

I went into the bathroom and cleaned the piss of the walls and floors.

Who the fuck thinks that it is okay to allow your kids to come in and destroy someone else’s home?

I have started thinking lately that it is time to move into a new tradition. Today just makes me realize that that time has come.

We were home by 9:30.  It took us over an hour to clean up.

Merry Christmas everyone.