Monday, March 21, 2011

My sincerest apologies, it was not intentionally done.

I have been a very bad girl! I have not blogged or read blogs in weeks. I can barely keep my head above water most days and lately it seems as though it is just getting worse.

Work has been interesting. I received an Employee Excellence Award last week at the annual company meeting. It is like Employee of the Year award that each department presents, only it is presented by the President of the company.

It made me feel worthy of all the hard work and long hours I have been putting in here. However, I feel as though it is also an excuse for my new department to create more work for me without any sign of help in the future.

I have been going through some shit at home too.

It is not new shit, just escalated shit that never seems to go away.

I have been over and over in my head how I can do things different or how I could have done things better. The only answer to my questions comes in the same phrase that upset me so much on Friday.

“By this age there should be some responsibility.”

I am talking about Peanut. He is at it again. He has days that are so great and then the lying starts all over again.

Two weeks ago, progress reports were sent home. Since Peanut and Butter go to the same school it comes as no surprise that when Butter brought his home, I should have expected Peanut to do the same.

Only I trusted him. He said the reason that he did not get one was because the class had spent a week in Washington DC and so the 8th grade was a week behind everyone else.

When a week later came about and I still didn’t have it in my hand, I questioned him again. He said he didn’t understand why he did not have it yet. So Friday I called the school.

He had been given it. He had also failed three classes. I once again was livid that the school had not informed me of the problem. I guess what upset me the most was that they had no intention of contacting me until after the school play had finished all of the performances. Peanut had a lead role.

On Friday night, I refused to let him participate. Since he had lied to me for over a week, I felt as though there should have been consequences. So I made my own.

My heart had been broken. I cried for hours.

I apologize for not being around, I am so sorry that I have not commented on your blogs. I am very sorry for not having the time and or resources to read everything in my reader. But I am mostly sorry that when I looked at the number on the reader I became extremely overwhelmed and I have deleted them all.

I will try and be better.