Saturday, February 26, 2011

Little steps

I went shopping today. I hate shopping. I hate grocery shopping the most but really hate shopping.

I needed to go though and Butter has been busy all week so it was a special time for us to spend together.

Butter wanted to bring my mom.

I like to go and get what I need and get it done. My mom does not allow that to happen. She is too sore all the time to walk and drags me down.

I don’t just mean physically but mentally as well.

See, my mom is depressed. My mom has been depressed for a few years now and it is not getting any better. She has nothing good to say. No great stories to tell, only depressing ones. It is very hard for me to get through any time with her at all.

But that is another little bubble that I would like to build and have float far, far away.

I bought running sneakers today.

I know I don’t run, but this is going to change. I am watching my mother not be able to walk. I watched my dad die from complications due to his diabetes. I am watching my mother gain weight and gain weight and get more depressed.

I don’t want diabetes. I don’t want to not be able to go out and do things when I am older. I don’t want to be depressed. I want my children to want to spend time with me when I am older. I want to live a full happy life. I want to lose this weight.

I need to find a sports bra and some good running shorts. Oh and maybe some tops but the bra is the most important thing first. These Double D’s need some support.

I am bound and determined to make this work. I have been exercising 3 days a week. I do weights one day a week and for once in my life I have upper body strength.

I feel good.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Chinese food and fun

I know that I have not been to vigilant at posting lately. One of the main reasons is that I have been so busy at work lately that I have not had any time. I come home from work and deal with the family things that need my attention, like algebra homework, and then I am too tired to write that I end up in bed before I can even turn on the computer.

Tonight, however, I feel the need to tell a little story.

Remember, Wednesday’s post about Butter and his in school suspension? This happened the night before the big boys and dad took their trip to the Keys.

I have been trying to punish Butter by making him do chores in their absence and it has worked. Another thing is I have been trying to teach him how to filter.

This is not an easy task.

Especially when you have a ton of uncles who insist on giggling about your misfortune.

Tonight, my #1 brother took my mom, #8, us and his daughter out for Chinese food. This in itself was a great idea. Feeding my mother Mai Tai’s, not so much of a good idea.

My mother was a very refined woman. For years, all we ever heard was the proper way to behave in public. After two Mai Tai’s, my mom’s filters fall off. She talks to strangers and tells my 9 year old horrible stories.

My brothers are not much better.  At one point, #8 corrected Butter for saying broccoli. He quietly told me and #1 that the child needed to learn that when in the correct setting the word is broccori.

After a slight chuckle and a few back slaps, #1 says ROR.

ROR people, ROR. I ROR’d so hard that I peed my pants a little.

I am so going to hell in a hand basket. This was just a little few extra weaves that I have sewn into that basket.

Is it any wonder why my children are the way that they are.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Butter! Butter!

It is a Wednesday and I am already looking forward to a long weekend.

I have an amazing bitch session to do about my husband and his baby boy attitude that he has had over the course of the past few weeks. But that will have to wait.

You see, the big boys are leaving tomorrow morning for a 10 day scout trip to an Adventure Camp on the High Seas. Hubby is going with them and it will be just Butter and I.

I know I have talked about Butter in the past. He is my baby. He is 9, very close to 10. He loves to read and it continuously telling us and others that he is artist, not athletic.

I have come to accept his little quirks. Today however I can’t accept this little one. This is a two inch quirk.

Today at school, Butter was playing kickball in gym class. The teacher set the rules at the beginning of the class. One rule was there is no leading. If you take your foot off the base the other team can tag you out.

My little guy, who is not athletic, was playing a base and the little girl on the base took her foot off the base and moved a few feet away from the bag. Butter got the ball and tagged the girl out. SUPER victory for the little guy. The little girl cried and so the teacher let her back on base and didn’t call the out. Butter was put back and voiced his opinion. If you are going to make the rules, the rules should be for everyone. Then he questioned if it were a little boy who was tagged out would she change the rules then? The teacher said she was the teacher and allowed to change the rules when necessary.

Butter could not accept this. “Rules are rules and my mom and dad always tell me that if you don’t follow the rules than a game is not worth playing.“

The teacher told him he could go sit on the bleachers if he did not like the call she made.

Butter headed toward the bleachers, and in one last effort to prove his disappointment he turned and …

Butter has an in school suspension today.

He’s grounded and in some serious trouble.

Why am I finding it hard not to do a fist pump?