Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The holidays are coming...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am glad to be back. I have so much to tell you and fill you in with the goings on of the family fun house. For those of you who are new to the dysFUNctional goings on of my extended family, let me give you a crash course. Know full well that you can’t the full picture unless you go back to the beginning of the blog when I introduced you to them all.


I am a mother of three boys who grew up in a house full of brothers. I had 7 of them. I have no sisters, only sister in laws, at last count I have had 10 of those and there are two new girlfriends. You do the math. I have been married to my husband for 19 years. My husband was BFFs with my #2 brother and that was how we met. I tell people that we put the FUN in dysfunctional and boy, do we ever.

I will let you know that this holiday season is bound to be the best yet. Let me tell you why…#1 has decided to declare himself the ruler of the roost. Since Dad is no longer around and “no one is willing to help mom” he will call the shots. Bwaa ha “choke”, “gag”, ha, “choke”, ha, hold urination in, ha ha ha…read back to see how much he does around the fire.

#2 was at #1’s for Thanksgiving without the wife and kids. I got the biggest hug ever and the kids had a blast wrestling with him on the floor and laughing the whole time. But that is getting ahead of myself, at mom’s birthday she decided that she was going to spend the entire time outside smoking in her car and if people wanted to talk to her they would go out there. She actually numbered you when you got to the window. Anyway, funny little chicken here…I had to make the names for the grab and could not find her. I went looking for her with my bowl of names for her to pick her grab and when I found her she said “Number 4”. I was slightly confused and said “?”, she told me that I was the fourth person to come and find her. Since there were 23 people there that was not a good odd. Still confused, because I don’t get those kinds of games, I stuck out the bowl for her to pick. It was here turn to be confused and acted like she had never seen the bowl with names before. She then told me she was not picking. She had told “EVERYONE” that she was not in the grab this year and then continued to bitch at me. At this time, I turned on my heals, said it was nice to know that “EVERYONE” knew and maybe she should inform her husband since he was the one who sent me out to her car to find her. Bitch! Oops, positive atmosphere, positive atmosphere.

#3 is moving home…alright I know I have said this a few times already but the girlfriend called my mom last night and sent #8 an email saying “Just wanted to say "thank you" for the effort you have put forth, to terminate a 13 year relationship, and screw me over, at the same time! I thought much higher of you, until this!”

Oh believe me the story will get more interesting as the time goes on. Again, if you new around these parts…I very much dislike my #3 brother and all that he does. He physically makes me ill.

#5 has a new girlfriend, who has a 16 year old daughter, who is cute, who is constantly being pushed upon my boys as if they needed it.

#6 is still #6 and still awesome.

#7, well again lets use the odds and evens here.  Who is doing alot of the pushing around when it comes to my boys.

Then there is #8. Who finally has a girlfriend, well a friend who is a girl. Who does not want to get too serious. Who only certain family members have met yet. Who is bound to go running like the wind once she gets a hold of this mess.

I will keep you up to date and the time comes closer.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Phew, i am done




This is it folks, it is official; I am done with the challenge and, after this post, have finished all 30. I apologize in advance if it gets too long.



Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Change? This is something that many people have difficulty with. Me, not so much, I like change. I would love to change my current cash flow. I would also like to change my waistline. The stretch marks on my middle section from carrying three HUGE babies and gaining very little weight during my pregnancies…definite CHANGE. Personality? Nope, I love me and wouldn’t change it.



Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Dear MaeRae,

Are you aware of the fact that you are an inspiration to others? I know you hear it on a regular basis and have a hard time accepting it, but it is true. I love the way that you have raised your little boys into great men that will make a woman very happy. I love the way that even at the age of 14 and 17 they still climb on your lap to have their backs rubbed or the hair combed through with your fingers.

I love your love for your friends. It is a great thing to feel the love for a friend even if you had not seen one of them for a long time.

I love your words of inspiration and your genuine feeling of pride for people that you don’t even know.

I love the fact that your smile is a constant. I am very proud of you for the strength that you have to voice your dislike for something or someone but not keep it deep inside. You have this great strength to LET IT GO. I am even more proud of you for growing that even more over the course of the last year.

I love your new sense of completion. You persevered through these 30 days of Truth and completed it. Great job.

I love your sense of family and the love you have for all of them.

I love you and all you do! Keep up the great work.

Love always,

Me

Saturday, November 27, 2010

27&28 only two to go...

The craziness that is my life continues on and I am so happy that I am just a few days away from finishing my 30 days.


Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

I have this issue with jinxing things by saying that they are going good and then waking up to find that they are gone or destroyed. So today one of the things that is going really good for me right now is my ability to spend money that I don’t have. I can save and save and look at my checking account balance and find that there is nothing there. It never fails; this is something that has always been good…an empty bank account.

The best thing going for me right now is my weight gain. I can say without any doubt in my mind that this is a no fail situation. I stand on the scale and the gain is inevitable. I love that fact that as soon as I start eating good and exercising regularly the scale goes up and up and up.



Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

This question is something that is discussed often around me. For some reason, for the last 19 years people have asked me when I am going to get pregnant, when am I going to have another, and even the girl who makes the sandwiches at the cafeteria asks me daily if it is okay if I have feta cheese in my side. Either I need new clothes or I look like I am 6 months pregnant.

If I were to become pregnant, I would need somewhere to live. Since my husband has been fixed during the pregnancy of Butter, I think my arse would be out on the street within a matter of a few minutes after finding out.

On the other hand, if I got someone pregnant…well, then I guess all the things going good for me right now would be destroyed. Maybe, I will work on this.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Don't feel bad...I am so used to it.

I will start this blog by saying Happy Thanksgiving. “Happy Thanksgiving”, oh I guess that wasn’t starting the blog with it but I think you get the point.


The next three posts on this grueling quest to finish the “days” are here for you to read and be thankful that when I am done with these there are only 4 more “days” to go.

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)



Dear Husband,

I few weeks back we celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary and #3 remembered and you did not. I should not have been surprised; I suppose it is just “Another Brick in the Wall” - Pink Floyd. After all of these years, “No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)” - Barbra Streisand & Donna Summer, I decided to take it into my own hands and surprise you instead. I brought home a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of champagne hoping that would spark your memory. I guess not. Our 17 year old needed to tell you why they were there on the table. “I Can't Go For That” - Daryl Hall & John Oates. I am done with the bullshit. I am tired of being the one with the Memories”-Barbara Streisand.

I Can't Wait - Nu Shooz any more for you to start getting your shit together. Let this be a clear warning for you. My birthday is in 3 days. You best Don't Forget Me (When I'm Gone) - Glass Tiger.

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

The very basic reason is because I get up every morning and put my feet on the floor.



Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

This one is easy. NO, NOT EVER!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Another two...almost done.

Holy crapola people, I only have 7 days left after this post. I am bound and determined to do it…even if I have cheated a little here and there by posting more than one day on a post. But seriously, if I posted every day I would have been done with this already. So here are another two.


Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Life experiences are something that I think teaches you lessons for the future. I had to think long and hard to come up with something that I wish I hadn’t done in my life. The only thing that I could come up with was slack off.

Slack off? Have you ever done that? I am the queen of slacking off. I could be so much better off financially if I had not slacked off. I am a pretty intelligent person but never applied myself in school. I was too busy slacking off. I could have gone back to school and decided what I wanted to be when I grew up but I slacked off. I could be down to my goal weight by now. But I slack off.

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

I used to say that I wished I traveled. I am traveling now, it is fun but not what I thought it would be like.

I always hesitate to wish for something because more often than not it comes true and then I am sorry for the wish.

I can joke around and say that I wish that I married a rich man. I can joke around and wish that I had thought of birth control before the hormones kicked in and my boys became teenagers. I can wish for health and happiness but truth be told…

I don’t wish for anything at this time. I like my life and would not trade it for anyone else’s right now.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Killing two birds with one blog...

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.


It is Friday night and I am sitting at home in front of the computer. My answer to the post for day 20 would have to be in moderation anything is okay.

Truth be told, I have in issue with the over prescribing of drugs. I know the question doesn’t mean prescription drugs but that is the one that I have an opinion on.

Don’t get me wrong, as I post this I can almost feel the follower list going down.

If you have problems with your heart and the only way that you can be stabilized is with a prescription drug then fine, doctor puts you on a drug. If you have problem with attention span…drugs are not necessarily the answer.

Let me tell you that I watched a man who’s answer to the diagnosis is give me a drug, DIE.

I don’t believe that the answer to your problem is in the bottle.



Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Let me make myself clear. If I know that it happened, I am there for you!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

3 at a time...

Today I am killing three at a time.  I got so many stories to tell you and with the holidays coming up they promise to be some eye opening FUN FAMILY FACTS...so since i spent so many a day NOT posting, i need to make up for it.

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.


I read a lot of books. I read more in the summer and this summer was no different. I read The Kite Runner. This book made me realize that even though there is a lot in the media about the war and the Taliban, you really don’t know what it is all about until you put yourself there.

No, I wasn’t there but this book opened my eyes to a lot more than I would have been seeing if I hadn’t.



Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

My answer on this question and the next are pretty much the same.

Every person is different in so many ways.

Do I think that gay couples should marry?

Well, my inner heart says that if you love someone whether same or different sex and you were meant to be with that person for the rest of your life, why should you not be able to be with them?

Marriage has such a different meaning in society than it does in religion. Marriage of two people is a joining. Gay couples should be able to marry in society. I don’t think that it should be something that happens in the church.




Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

I think my religion is MY religion. Your religion is YOUR religion. God has his presence in all religions but it is not my place to say yours is better or mine is right.

Politics on the other hand…I don’t discuss with people.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Does anyone remember the tune that I was singing when i started this mess?

Before I start today’s truths, let me tell you a little about myself this weekend. This is a camping weekend and you know what that means. The kitchen is clean, doing the floor tomorrow. I am in heaven though; this weekend is a little different. This is a weekend that they took Butter with them. Yippee, me time. I need it this weekend. And I realized something life shattering this week.

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

My husband. Listen closely, because I never compliment my husband. I don’t have to. He knows exactly how I feel and is extremely secure about that too.

But, who would make my coffee in the morning? Who would make sure that dinner is on the table every night? Who would warm the bed for when I get in cold at night? Who would have been the reason for me to breathe and push forward? Who? Certainly not my mother, brothers, and so called “friends”. I love my time to myself once a month but I miss the bastard when he is gone.



Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

I would without a doubt have to say that I could definitely live without my effing period. I discovered this week that I suffer from PMS. I never have before but I definitely do. I have eaten a truck load of sugar, cake and cookies. What the heck is that? Then, I fricken cry at the drop of a fricken dime. I LIE NOT! I freaking cried at a freaking Sesame Street movie yesterday.

I could do without this extra 10 pounds of extremely fertile unused uterus

Friday, November 12, 2010

Day 13 and 14, two at a time...

I decided that I am way behind on these so maybe I should start doing two at a time.




Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)



Dear Simon and Garfunkel,

Me and Julio, we been down at the school yard for a few years and it always lifts my spirits when you sing about it. I know you can call me Al and the 59th Street Bridge is a good little place for us to meet. But seriously, Love me like a rock and I will continue to be yours. Cecilia and I will be listening faithfully still.



Thank you,

MaeRae



Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)



Dear Wonder Woman,

I have this letter that I am supposed to write to a hero. Since, the only HERO I have is up above, He cannot possibly let me down.

So I write to you in hopes that you will understand that as a younger child, I thought that having big boobs could mean that I could still look like you when I grew up. Yeah, not! Can you please give me the name of your tailor that made them stay up so well?

Thank you,

MaeRae

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Day #11 and #12...who cares it is my blog.

I decided to kill two birds with one stone tonight and put together day 11 and 12 only because if you go back to the beginning of the 30 days you will see I have had many a day in between that did not have posts.


Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

A compliment that I get on a regular basis is on my listening skills. I listen to what people have to say. I don’t only hear them but I listen as well. On occasion, I think this is a fault of mine but people always say it is a good trait.

This is a skill that I wish I had passed along to my children, but alas that did not happen.

Day 12→ Something you never get compliments on.


My driving skills leave a little bit to be desired. I am not the most conscientious nor am I the considerate. I leave you with this little story to make you fully understand.

Last Saturday, I was coming home from running a series of errands and while pulling into the front of my house, mind you in the husband’s vehicle, I drove into the front of my house. No really, I pulled in oddly and drove right into the front of the house. The front of my house has a brick flowerbox that is about 2 ½ feet high and SMACK…right into it.

Not the first time I have hit something as big as a house…and I am sure it was not the last time.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Day #10...I am such a slacker...

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.




This one was not an easy post to do. I only have three people that I know IRL but am deathly afraid that maybe it will be read by someone else eventually, but here it goes anyway.

I had a real good friend. The friendship started out well enough but as I have said before there is some sort of strange attraction to me from crazies.

L and I started out getting to know each other because we worked together. Soon, I became her manager. Knowing that she needed the support of someone that would motivate her, we started talking every morning. I had her write out punch lists and check on her the following morning to see the progress. At first it was very rare that I had her complain about her life, and then it became more and more frequent.

I listened to how horrible her mom was and how she was victimized by everyone. I listened to how her teenage daughter showed up on her doorstep with a baby and how she took them in. I heard all about how this child of hers accused her husband of sexual abuse because she heard that she could get money for being a victim. I heard the horror stories of what this daughter did to her family.

I gave a bunch of children’s clothes and furniture to L for her new grandchild.

I watched as this daughter started causing problems again. I stood quietly as this daughter destroyed relationship after relationship in this household and then she started saying that L and her husband were abusing her and her son.

L kicked her out and then let her back in a few months later.

The daughter signed her son over to her real father’s family for MONEY! No effing kidding on this one. She SOLD her child. (Side note…she has not seen this child in YEARS)

L was devastated!

The daughter got pregnant again with another child and started the crap all over again.

L’s mother stopped talking to L years ago because she could not take the fact that L kept taking this girl back as if she had an unending amount of free tickets. I started understanding the mother’s point of view.

I watched this girl destroy this family and I watched L get kicked EVERY time.

I finally stopped taking her calls. I happened to be busy every time she wanted to go out.

Then she SUED our boss. This is when I cut the cord.

I still think that L has some excellent qualities but the negative was too much for me to take.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Day #8 Feeling kind of great, Day #9 la la la bliny bline...

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.




This post is not hard to do. It is really pretty simple. I wrote of it in the person I need to forgive.

Reader’s Digest Condensed version is my old boss made my life hell and treated me like shit. Since I am on the forgiveness path, I will leave it at that.



But then there is Day 9

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.




This post is not hard to do. It is really pretty simple. I wrote of it in the person I need to forgive.

Reader’s Digest Condensed version is my old boss made my life hell and treated me like shit. Since I am on the forgiveness path, I will leave it at that.



But then there is Day 9

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.



This post was a little harder.

There are many different reasons that people drift and many times it has nothing to do with you personally, it is that life hands you obstacles that are hard to get around.

I had a group of friends that drifted. These were good friends that I spent many hours with during my later high school/early college life. It was not because I wanted to drift, but had no choice. I was not right around the corner; I was a few towns away. I did not have a car at the time that was reliable enough to get me back and forth. Others had boyfriends that came into their lives and they spent more time with them. Me, I just existed.

Years later and with the help of Facebook, I have reunited with most of them. Some, still not so much, but others, I have seen more in the past few months than I had seen in the last 20 years.

The drifter that hurts the most though is #2. I have posted a few different times about him and how I can see that he is unhappy. It hurts to know that I cannot talk to him as I used to. It also is very sad that we had always been able to kid around and laugh and I don’t remember the last time I had seen his smile.

Jelly was confirmed in the Catholic religion this past Sunday. My entire family, those that live in the area, were there, except #2.

#2’s son and grandson were there but I never even heard a response back from #2. I know that his wife very much dislikes my son Jelly, but to not even respond?

I never hope for anything bad to happen to others…I really don’t. I hope though that #2 realizes that the misery he is in is worse for him than losing his family over it. Cut the cord and let the bitch fall.



This post was a little harder.

There are many different reasons that people drift and many times it has nothing to do with you personally, it is that life hands you obstacles that are hard to get around.

I had a group of friends that drifted. These were good friends that I spent many hours with during my later high school/early college life. It was not because I wanted to drift, but had no choice. I was not right around the corner; I was a few towns away. I did not have a car at the time that was reliable enough to get me back and forth. Others had boyfriends that came into their lives and they spent more time with them. Me, I just existed.

Years later and with the help of Facebook, I have reunited with most of them. Some, still not so much, but others, I have seen more in the past few months than I had seen in the last 20 years.

The drifter that hurts the most though is #2. I have posted a few different times about him and how I can see that he is unhappy. It hurts to know that I cannot talk to him as I used to. It also is very sad that we had always been able to kid around and laugh and I don’t remember the last time I had seen his smile.

Jelly was confirmed in the Catholic religion this past Sunday. My entire family, those that live in the area, were there, except #2.

#2’s son and grandson were there but I never even heard a response back from #2. I know that his wife very much dislikes my son Jelly, but to not even respond?

I never hope for anything bad to happen to others…I really don’t. I hope though that #2 realizes that the misery he is in is worse for him than losing his family over it. Cut the cord and let the bitch fall.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Day #7, i feel like this is heaven...

I have been working on the same order for the past 5 hours. I think I have taken three naps. I have had a bowl of oatmeal, a bowl of soup and some tea and can’t get warm. I guess I am suffering from mom overload let down the day after a very busy weekend. But at the same time, I had a great weekend.


Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.



This one is a hard one for me to write about because I immediately think, “I would not kill myself”, so there really isn’t anyone except myself.

But then, I think to myself that is not the bologna you want to hear.

You want me to say that I could not imagine my life without my kids or maybe my parents. Oh wait, maybe I could say by brothers.

How about the sappiest answer and biggest cop out ever…my husband?

Every person that I have met in my life and every person that I have not met is the reason that my life is worth living.

Consider yourself, the answer to this question.