Monday, May 31, 2010

Life is guaranteed to help with blog posts

There are so many things in my life that make me giggle. The fact that even MSN is helping me with guarantees that I will have some thing to blog about.

Even better.

"Sagittarius November 22 - December 21 The day should be fairly positive, Sagittarius, and you'll begin to feel the faintest hints of a major change beginning. This new phase will last seven months. As it progresses, you'll find greater freedom of expression. You can expect to shift into high gear in subjects you used to avoid. Some friction with siblings is likely to arise in the next few months."

Some friction? Great! And I will be able to express it to you.

Friday, May 28, 2010

What is in a name?

What is in a name? Some times it is something that will be with you forever. HA HA HA, I just realized what I said and cracked myself up with that. What I meant to say is “sometimes you are given a nickname and it just sticks”. Today in the light of remembering what this weekend is all about and the time and effort and blood, sweat and tears, my dad and two of my brothers have given to this country, I have been thinking a lot about my dad.

When I started this bubble back in October, I mentioned that the reason was, because I had formed one in my real life three years prior to when my dad was diagnosed with Liver Cancer and died five weeks later. I only had two friends to tell my frustrations too and I felt like even they were tired of hearing the horror stories from my dysfunctional family.

It was my dad that gave me the nickname MaeRae. Only my family knew me by that name. Some close friends in Search (a teen led catholic youth retreat group) knew me as Mae but not any by MaeRae.

My dad was a joker. They were bad jokes, but jokes just the same. He always had a few words to say that would make you scratch your head, and believe me to this day I am still looking for a gum tree.

My maiden name is West. Can you even begin to imagine how anyone could spell that wrong? It happened all the time. My birth given name (that I still have now…he he he) is Mary. Some of you who are reading this right now are thinking soooo? Some of you are probably thinking, yeah? And then others of you have already figured it out. My dad was a big fan of the black and whites.

When I was dressing up for a dance or party, my dad would always refer to me as MaeRae. It was a sign of affection, a little love tap on the heart.

I had another nick name given to me by my dad that he used whenever I did or said something stupid, which truth be told was more often then dressing up. This nick name was Majewski.

As I got older and married and became a woman of my own, MaeRae was the nick name most often rolling off his tongue?

This past weekend, my brothers and I reminisced a little about my dad. Majewski came up and #8 reminded me of the phase I went through that I would beat up anyone that called me that, and how Sally (#5) got a broomstick upside the head while mom and dad were out.

This made me realize that I am indeed more of a Majewski than a MaeRae IRL. But hey my life inside my bubble, I can be anything that I want.

Some of dad’s popular phrases and bad jokes were the following…

A train must have just gone by…can’t you see its tracks.

See that place over there (pointing at cemetery), it is pretty popular. Know how I know? Cause people are just dying to get in there.

Why don’t you make like a tree and leaf?

What am I supposed to do, stand on my head and spit wooden nickels?

Go run up a gum tree and stick.

Boy, Do I miss that man.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I am who I am

I am a strong believer in “you are who you are”. People can’t change. They can take on new habits but down deep in the bowels of your being you “are who you are”. Well, I am a Masshole. Yup, I said and spelled it right. I am a Masshole.

The first time I ever heard this term used, my husband (who was not my husband at the time) were in Maine on a little weekend trip with his parents. We were crossing the street downtown beach area with a few other people and this pissant came out of no where and nearly ran us all over. The gentleman walking with us was from New York and yelled out “Masshole”. I giggled because I thought maybe he had some sort of speech impediment (bad, I know but I was young and childless at the time). Then I noticed the license plate. My honey laughed too, mainly because the gentleman did not know we were from Massachusetts. Since then, I have heard it often.

Yesterday on my way to work this asswipe older gentleman and his wife tried to pull out in front of me on a very busy road while I was traveling straight at about 40 miles per hour. I swerved around the front of his car and ignored his broken finger. I think it was broken at any rate, because while he was shaking his fist at me it was standing straight up and down.

Let me back up here just a second and let you in on a little secret. I travel 1 hour to work every day, on a state highway (code word for nonpassable road that never goes above 40 and has a crap load of lights). I travel to and from on this road every day. I always follow the speed limit, even sometimes below the speed limit. So when the stretch of road hits 40, so do I. Don’t get in my way…

Anyway, back to my story. This gentleman followed me for at least 40 minutes of my ride. He would get up on my ass during school zones and then fall back. Right back on my ass at red lights and then back off. At the third of 8 traffic lights I looked in my rearview mirror and noticed that my eyebrow needed plucking. Yup, I said that the hairiness of my upper eyelid needed attention. So just to piss off the man behind me, for the next 5 stop lights I pulled down my mirror and plucked away. This really pissed him off since it delayed the start of the traffic at least 30 seconds. I think his horn had something wrong with it, either that or it was in sync with the light…every traffic light he would honk at me, which delayed one more hair from being removed.

I got to work feeling like I accomplished something.

Today, in the last 3 miles of my trek, this is always bumper to bumper due to merging traffic at every corner; I experienced another really pissed off driver. So since he was in such a hurry I slowed down even more. I was about the 95th car in a line of 100. I never got above 15 miles an hour for at least 2 of those miles, just to show him. I made sure I had at least three car lengths between me and the truck in front of me.

I am beginning to wonder if there was some sort of freak accident in the state because for those 2 miles he continuously showed me the broken finger he had too.

Therefore, unlike the other Massholes who would run you down in the crosswalk, I am a completely different kind of Masshole. Don’t piss me off.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Back to the grindstone...well not really

I am at home today feeling a little guilty about not being at work and then the belly rumbles, I am back in the bathroom and I think, Yup, better off at home.

It was a crazy weekend for me. I spent a good portion (like 12 hours total) at my mom’s house cleaning out the basement. If you missed that post a few days back I got some really good mold pictures on Saturday. Butter was a great help. But mostly, I just told people what to do and took pictures of them doing it.

I do however; have to give a GREAT BIG SHOUT OUT to James. I don’t know who James is. I know he is a friend of #3 but don’t know how. Even the hubby knows him from delivering gas. Don’t ask me, but this guy came to my mother’s house and worked like a DOG! Man, if there was something to throw in the dumpster he was there to throw it. Every time I turned around this guy was working. So, since of the 7 of my brothers I only witnessed 4 of them working at any point in time, THIS guy gets MVP for the weekend. Second to him is #8…even if he was all sweaty and gross.

this is a picture of one of the spots where the mold has been growing for years.
James on the right, and #3 holding up the wall.  He spent a lot of time doing JUST THAT.
Even Butter got in on the work.  Please do not report me to CPS, I swear every other minute he was down in the basement he was wearing a mask.  I don't know where it went for these pictures.
He wanted to make sure I documented how dirty he got even though he was wearing all of his safety gear.
He even got a callous...answer me why it is cool that men get callouses?

This is where we all got together to decide on lunch. The best part of the whole day.

I got more if you want to see them but let me end with the "almost completed" job.

This is what we left in the basement ...and this is #3 pulling nails out of boards that I could not convince my brothers to huck...And this dumpster was full by the time I left yesterday and the wood wasn't even in it.
Please shoot me if I ever collect that much stuff.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Quick update on Sunday morning

I never post on Sundays.  I really don't usually have the time nor the computer in order to do so.  But since the big boys are away on a camping trip, I will give you a little update.

I went to the doctor's on Friday and found out that I am incurable.  Seriously, the doctor has no idea what is up, except there is definitely some infection in my system to be cause of all of the cysts.  So I am on an antibiotic for the next ten days.  She insisted on the extensive blood work, including a Thyroid panel.  I have had this done so many times in the past that I want to stick my thyroid where the sun don't shine.

The swelling in my stomach cannot be explained because she cannot feel any tears.  Once the blood work comes in she will be able to justify some more testing.  I hate testing.

Because of the condition of the stomach and the pain I have been experiencing, she told me NO workouts involving my core for the next three weeks.  This is going to suck big eggs.

So on my way home from the doctor, I stopped at my mom's house to use her facilities and found three of my brothers there hard at work.  #2, #7, and #8 were all there busting butts.  #2 and I finally had a really good talk.  He is extremely frustrated with his life and it is not going to be easy to get out of it.  He apologized for the bull crap that his kid causes and told me to ask my boys not to beat him, instead go to #2 first, tell him what is happening and then beat the beast if he doesn't stop.  That will give #2 the chance to warn the little shit that if he keeps it up, there will be no sympathy from him.  He knows that the wife is the worse culprit but this way he can at least have a piece of mind to tell her otherwise.

With the antibiotic, I am drinking water and root beer like there is no tomorrow.  I spent more time peeing then I do anything else.  I am sick of cleaning other people's houses when mine looks like crap.  More to come.

Friday, May 21, 2010

not in today due to health reasons

I know, I know you are all sitting by your computer waiting for more updates and right now I cannot give them to you…why? Is that what you are asking? Why? Well let me tell you why. Because I am not here right now. I am at the doctor. I finally broke down and took every single person that I meet IRL and called to make an appointment.

Let me break it down for you…remember a few months back (yes, a few months) I told you that my stomach flew out and then got sucked back in during a puke fest while brushing my teeth…NO? You don’t remember that? Well, go back and read about it. I’ll wait…still waiting…okay your back and the funny thing is that I am fully aware of which of you had to go back and which ones remembered. You newbee’s, you are off the hook. So anyway…I got that issue going on.

I also have this other issue. I have gained 8 pounds in two weeks. The kicker is that I have not been eating anything more than I usually do, in fact I have cut down on what I am eating. I am now walking 5 days a week, 1 weight workout for an hour and 1 or two core classes during the week. And I have gained weight…all in my belly…I think it is not good.

Oh and wait it gets better. I started my “butterfly nesting” last week (that is code word for my effing period) A WEEK EARLY. When I tell you that this so unexpected, I tell you an understatement. Since they burned the crap out of my uterus a few years back I have been as regular as regular can be. And the worse part, it was heavy again, I mean really heavy.

Wait there is more…I started a headache last Monday, not a few days ago Monday, but over 10 days ago Monday.

Then the best of the best (because I have no clue how to spell piece de le resistance), I have started developing these funky little pimple type things in places that there should not be pimple type things. YUP-THERE AND THERE!

Well off I go and I will update later.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Alligator stew...part duex

Okay so I am back with some more of the story. Yesterday, I left off with the cleaning part of the story. As I mentioned there was a lot of crap in my parents basement and I spent a very long time there cleaning. I started the weekend of Mother’s day because we could not find a rake. I know, I know, a rake? Seriously though, my mother’s yard was a mess. She lost three trees and a load of branches in the ice storm and there were deer feeding off of what was on the ground. I posted a picture of my mom’s back yard looking at the house on the first communion post but let me show you again. The entire yard was full of tree branches. After we cleared everything away we needed to clean up the grass and could not find a rake.

I spent 3 hours in the pool shed cleaning that out and no rake. I looked through the basement and no rake. I was determined to make it so when I was looking for something I could put my hand on it so I tackled the basement. I found loads and loads of STUFF. I started a box for scrap copper and a box for scrap aluminum and even filled shit loads of trash bags. I formulated an area in the basement for tools, both power and hand, an area in the basement for the Christmas decorations that were salvaged after the flooding. I put up shelves and put yard items on them and even made a space for the fans and things that I knew were going to be needed in the next couple of weeks.

Then everything came to a stand still. Three light bulbs blew. I am super woman I know, but night vision is not one of my powers. The trash bags had taken over the basement walkways. I had no where to put them. I am strong like bull, but could not move the washer and dryer back into place. So I called a family meeting.

HA HA HA, do you know how hard it is to call a family meeting? I mean that was like pulling teeth, so I put it very nicely to all of my brothers. “Come Wednesday night and have a cold beer. If you don’t show up I will hunt you down. This is a volunteer basis meeting but if you don’t come give your input, you will be given a job instead.” Guess who showed up? Yup, the evens. #6 (T-for you Laur) #8 and #2. #6 is an electrician so his job was to make sure that he got his butt over to the house and string lights for me. #8 is a manly man so his job was to haul the trash out of the basement. #2 is the outdoor kind of guy so his job was to get the snow blower into the basement and mow the lawn while he was there. We voted #1 to cough up some cash, because that is what he is good for, and #5 to haul the trash away to his dump, and #7 to come and take his crap out of the basement that he keeps sticking there every time he needs to get rid of something.

During this meeting of the minds, my mother’s health had been discussed. She had been sick since the winter before my dad died. She coughed and sneezed constantly. She had taken on the task of personally saving the allergy drug companies from going bankrupt. In the process of cleaning out the basement I was wearing masks. The place was ridden with the DEATH MOLD!

So, on to the present…#3 is now in charge of getting the basement gutted. Oh yeah, forgot to mention somewhere in here, my dad hired someone 22 years ago to finish the basement. This gentleman, who will remain nameless, started the process. He framed three bedrooms, made a bathroom, made a storage room and also 2/3 completed a family room. The bedrooms were never fully functional, the bathroom worked for a few years and then the storage room became the catch all…this is where I spent most of my time HUCKING things out of. And then went into “dry out” because he was an alcoholic, then got divorced and never came to finish.

The death mold has over taken the basement. Here is a picture of the bathroom. Notice the height of the mold on the walls. Yuck!

So, the dumpster…it arrived yesterday. For the past week, we as a family have been sending emails back and forth. “Come get your crap.” “Dumpster is coming.” “If you don’t claim it, it is going in the dumpster.” You know the typical things that people do to get the point across. Some where along the line, tools and yard items started popping up in the emails. I let my brothers just go back and forth until then…then I stepped in with my 2 cents. Don’t throw away tools. I made shelves in the storage room for them. Don’t throw away yard items. Put them in the cleaned out pool shed. Don’t let #3 throw away anything that the insurance paid for because we don’t know when or if we will need a walker or a tub seat as mom ages. Basically, don’t throw away anything that we made need.

This became…”let’s build some shelves, lets save the mold ridden 2x4’s and build a pedestal for the washer and dryer, let’s hang stuff on the walls…” all from “the dumpster is coming”.

My #1 brother said it best…

"when you're up to your ass in alligators, it's easy to forget you went there to drain the swamp..."

my only two cents worth is, stay focused on one goal... do it, then move on to the next thing...

there's a dumpster coming... there's a limited period of time and resource availability... i suggest concentrating on getting the basement empty first and deal with any potential construction project *after* the truck hauls away a dumpster full of crap...

one thing at a time...

Sometimes it amazes me that one of them will spew out exactly what I am thinking at the time that I am thinking it…then again, I don’t think that I would have thought of alligators.

SIDE NOTE~ talked to my mom last night. The phone calls between the odds have started…who took this and who took that. “I came for the ice fishing tilts and they are gone, MaeRae and her kids must have stolen them.” Needless to say…they are still in the same spot in the basement they were when I cleaned a year ago. TAKE YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND WIPE THE SHIT FROM YOUR EYES AND LOOK AROUND…IT IS AMAZING WHAT WONDERS THE WORLD HAS IF YOU JUST TAKE TIME TO SEE.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Alligator stew...believe me there is a point

I had to do it, I am so sorry, but I had to do it. I just cleared 149 blogs from my reader. I promise eventually I will get back to them. I just could not do it.

I have been on overdrive this last two weeks. As soon as I think that there is a light at the end of the tunnel the door shuts and I am stuck back inside. My weekend to take care of my house has just been destroyed with the arrival of the DUMPSTER!!!!!!

Okay, so where did I leave off, oh yeah, I remember now, Mother’s Day.

It really was not that eventful but I do recall mentioning to some of you that the #3 was back in town. I have successfully avoided all contact for the past few weeks except for Mother’s day itself. There is a strong possibility that even then I did not speak with him. Oh, a very strong possibility. I still cannot get over the fact that he is here looking for work. There is no work anywhere, and even less here. And left his KID IN FLORIDA!

Any way, #8 has been housing the numbnut and God bless that boy, has been doing pretty good about reining him in. Since he is not working and living free off of #8, #8 has required #3 to go to my Mom’s house everyday and do some work.

On Mother’s day, #8 asked me about my plans to get a dumpster for my mom’s house and since my financial embarrassment I informed him I could not do it. So he set it up.

So a little back ground…On October 2, 2006 my father passed away. My dad was an electrical engineer and a hoarder of all things that can fit in your pocket. I joke you not. Some of you depending on your age may not get this picture, but years ago Maxwell House Instant Coffee had glass containers that were designed depending on the time of the year and they all had red caps. Unless it was decaf and then the cap was green. My dad had 37 of these containers filled with what my children would call treasure. Paper clips, thumbtacks, red wire nuts, yellow wire nuts, screws, nails, picture hangers, erasers, and a whole bunch of other things that you can think of that is small enough to fit into your pocket. I swear to the heavens above, if my dad brought one of those 37 jars to “Let’s Make a Deal” he would kick ass in the pocket book search. He had his own little office in the basement. Here he had a drafting table and three or four different filing cabinets. My dad had drafting plans for just about every electrical job he ever engineered during his 50 something years of work. Oh and all the other yard stuff and what not that he had bought for the house and never installed during the years. Radiators, closet doors, windows, regular doors, shelving know all that kind of stuff.  Oh yeah, and electical supplies, like wire and plugs, and wire and plugs and oh yeah, wire and plugs.

On December 13, 2008, the states of Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Vermont were hit with one of the most debilitating ice storms ever. Some places were out of power for close to three weeks. The damage was amazing and one of the worse places I saw was my mother’s basement. I removed my mother from her house the two days after the storm when I heard she might not get power back for up to a week. It was two to be exact and then even longer for her to get phone and cable. But back to the damage…a friend of ours lost his furnace when the electricity came back on and my husband was afraid of us loosing my mothers if the power came back on and the furnace kicked in…so off I went one morning to make sure that the furnace was off. Down the stairs I went step by step in my work shoes until I hit the third from the bottom at which point I put my foot down into water. By the time I got back there that evening with #8 and a generator, the water was up over our knees. The water drained over the next few days with the help of the generator but now before leaving A LOT OF DAMAGE!

I spent three months last summer, every chance I got cleaning up what I could and throwing away things that needed to be hucked and some, well I just could not get out of there. I swept and washed and scrubbed and moved and bagged trash that my brothers were supposed to get rid of…it didn’t happen…and then I found $5.

Come back for the rest of the story.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Sorry fo rthe delay...lessons to be taught.

I have survived yet another crazy week at home and at work. I am sorry if you were sitting around with nothing to do but wait for my new blog post to come out. I sincerely apologize if your life was altered in any way during my small hiatus. But let me tell you a little about the past week and let you know that there is so much more to tell.

At last post, it was the Friday before Mother’s Day and I was SO NOT looking forward to the weekend to come. Well, it came and it went with very little to report.

The weekend started with one of the rainiest Saturdays that we have had in a while. Jelly and I took advantage of the beautiful weather and went to the recycling center with a truck load of stuff that I have been cleaning out of our attic. Peanut farted around whining about the weather and how he wanted to do “SOMETHING”. Do you know how tired I am hearing that same crap on a regular basis? I am sure if you have had kids you know just what that was like. Butter spent most of the morning and part of the afternoon on the computer and reading his book. Did he lift a finger to assist Jelly and I around the living room? Of course not. I think his brother is starting to rub off on him.

The weekend brought some really unwelcome realizations about the financial situation that we were in and it pains me to say that I was financially embarrassed.

We recently had the first floor water heater leak and needed to get that replaced. Ouch, that hurt the pocket book. This happened two days after my husband went to the car dealership to find out why he had brake dust all over his driver’s side front tire. A caliper busted and in order to replace it with the proper part for his automobile it was going to cost us $1500. –let me tell you now, I don’t like it when I am paying for something that I think is a waste of money- I FREAKED OUT at my husband over the phone. Why did he INSIST that I pay an additional $2000 when we bought the car for an extended warranty that did not cover $HITZKI! Good thing that I was not at that dealership when we found out this information. I suppose that I may have been a little harsh with him on the phone, because the dealership manager overheard me on the phone and his reaction, and VIOLA, the majority of the problem was suddenly covered. We only ended up paying $540 for the fix. Still too much when you don’t have the money to cover the hot water heater and the car repair bill, the mortgage and the car payment all at the same time.

When Peanut consistently bothered me about doing SOMETHING on this rainy Saturday, I knew that I needed to do something drastic in order to prove a point. Jelly, Peanut, and Butter have no concept about how much things cost and where budgeting money is necessary. So I agreed. We would go out and find some plants for my mother and my mother-in-law and look at some necessary items for Jelly to go to school with. First we went to the flower shop. We picked up some really nice flowers for $4 a piece. Next we went to Sears to find out about work boots for Jelly and spent $39.99 on a pair. Next we checked out side shields for his glasses. These are both things that were necessary and only one was able to be purchased. Then a trip to Walmart. I just freaking LOVE that place (please note that the sarcasm to be reading that last line with needs to be seething with hatred). Peanut insisted on getting a battery for a watch that he has had in his possession for about a year and a half. Jelly had his watch that my in-laws bought him for Christmas adjusted. The whole trip to the jewelry counter, $5.31.

Are you keeping a running total of the day so far? So far, $53.30, for a Saturday to do SOMETHING. I did a little grocery shopping while I was there in order to make it through the week with the little buggers who usually eat me out of the house by Wednesday. Each of them wanted something “special”. Jelly picked out his favorite chips, Peanut picked out some ice cream novelties, and Butter chose to pick out Blueberry Pop-Tarts. Total for “special items” $6.89. Grand total for the day…$60.19. When we arrived home just in time for dinner, I made Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches for them placed them on the table and announced to group that if they weren’t aware that the recent storm had depleted the extra money growing from the money tree out back they better take a good look. Butter being 9, thought that there really was a tree out back that I was talking about and got up to look, the other two just rolled their eyes.

My cable/phone/internet bill was due on Wednesday, and since their SOEMTHING needed to be done that day it was going to make me short on making the payment.

I called the provider on Monday morning, explained the situation, requested that I not be penalized and asked to have my cable disconnected on Wednesday. (It is absolutely amazing what you can do if the company thinks they are going to loose you as a customer.) As long as I promised to come back as a customer they would reduce my monthly costs by $35 and suspend my service for three days.

Wednesday morning at 7 am my cable went out. 15 minutes later, the internet and phones shut down.

The husband was not aware of my evil plot either, that in itself is another post for another day. But all in all the kids survived and amazingly enough, when we went to the store yesterday no one asked for anything “special”.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Happy Friday...can't wait until Sunday (to be read with extreme sarcasm)

Holy Toledo People, I did not tell you the exciting news. Are you sitting down? NO really, are you sitting down?
#3 is moving back to Massachusetts. Is that not the most exciting thing that you have ever in you life heard? Does that not make you want to run to the top of the highest bridge and yell “Hooray!”?

I want to run to the top of the highest bridge, but not to yell. Maybe scream as I jump off the side. But wait…there really is some humor in this whole fiasco.

He came back to find WORK! OMG, are you not rolling on the floor trying to hold in the pee as it wants to spurt out? WTH? What on earth makes him think that he can come back here and find work? Has he not known that three of his brothers (all of which are in a trade of some sort) cannot find jobs? #2 has been in and out of work for almost 2 years. #7 has not seen a steady paycheck in over 3. Dumb effing idiot. Oops did it again, “Sorry Dad”, dumb effing brilliant genius that just has a slight bit of brain damage.

Well, that is not all the story. I know I have mentioned a few times about the dumbness of #3 and seriously folks… if you are new around here…you got to go and familiarize yourself with the family.

Anywho, as you know #3 has 5 children. 4 of which live in Maine and 1 that lives in Florida with him (or at least did until Monday).

My flipping brain dead brother, oops sorry wrong again, brain damaged brother, left his son back home in Florida. With a girlfriend. Seriously, he packed his bags and moved up here to live with #8 (God Bless that child, he is going STRAIGHT UP) and he left his son back there. Since this morning, I have seen him on Facebook telling everyone, he is back and he would like to see them. I think we are talking 20-30 people. How does he expect to get a job if he is off the whole time visiting? Another question that comes to mind is, how many AA meetings will he plan on attending while he is here? When he came up in December, he spent 8-10 hours a day, driving around to different meetings so he had a chance to meet up with those people that he has not seen in a long time. His son told me when they were here last, that even though he took the trip with him, he had only had a chance to see him about an hour a day…he was always off doing something. (mostly meetings). #3 is in construction. Remember the whole “had a ton of 2x4’s drop on his head story”, yeah that kind of construction. The housing market has plummeted. People are out of work and been looking for months on end.

I have been reading a lot of blogs this week that have the theme of Mother’s Day gifts. I figured out what I want for my MD gift. I would like a good excuse as to why I will not make it over to My Mother’s house on Sunday.

Although it should make some good blog posts over the course of the week.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Thank You for the Wonderful Thursday

Every once and a while someone slips into the bubble and I am happy to have the company. Today Tracy over at Welcome to Our World did just that. When I created the bubble it was because I had things to say and could not say them out loud. At first, my thoughts got down on the page and I had no intention of letting anyone know that I was doing it. I started getting a little excited that I was able to say what I wanted to say and not burn the ear off of the only one I could talk to. My IRL friend the Countess told me you can’t have a blog without a follower. Then as time went on and I commented on other blogs in this peaceful little world, others started commenting and then I got SUCKED in.

So here I am, with an award to brag about. Tracy graced me with this and even though I don’t usually participate to the fullest extent, today I feel like doing it.

The procedure, as Tracy explains is as follows:

1. Get really excited that you got the coolest award EVER!

    Believe me, I did just that. Logged in to my email and got the notification and did a little WHOOT...okay maybe not so little

2. Choose ONE of the following options of accepting the OMB award:

(a) Get really drunk and blog for 15 minutes straight, or for as long as you can focus.

(b) Write about your most embarrassing moment.

(c) Write a "Soundtrack of your childhood" post.

(d) Make your next blog a 'vlog'/video blog. Basically, you're talking to the camera about whatever.

(e) Take a picture of yourself first thing in the morning, before you do anything else (hair, make up, etc)and post it.

3. Pass the award on to at least three, but preferably more, awesome bloggers. Don't forget to tell them.

As most will eventually find out about me…I cannot handle my alcohol. I know that sounds crazy seeing as though I am Irish and I should be able to, I can’t. I end up puking in your sink (oops, maybe I should tell that story for “b”) so because of that, I won’t be doing “a”. Of course, it doesn’t help that I am at work and they kind of frown about that.

I could do “c” but I am constantly being reminded that music on blogs is not the “cool” thing to do, I will let you know that I do have a play list here on my blog and if you really want to know about me musically you can check it out. My playlist is a lot like me, unpredictable.

There is no way I am about to do “d”. One very vital reason…I have no way of doing it. Even though I find new things to do on the computer on a daily basis, a Vlog is not one I have even tried, or plan on trying. I think you need some kind of camera to do that and since I don’t have one of those, it won’t be happening.

I could do “e” but where is the excitement in that. See, I don’t wear make up. I get up in the morning and the first thing I do is throw my hair up in a clip. Then after I get the boys ready and take my shower, I brush my hair and throw it up into a clip and off I go. There is no makeup, no curling or primping…shit man, I grew up with 7 brothers, I had no time to learn how to do all that kind of stuff.

So... that leaves me “b” the one about the most embarrassing moment. I could tell you about the puking in my friends sink but I think I will save that for another time. I am not easily embarrassed. I learned VERY young that a thick skin is needed if I were to survive in my house. There is constant picking and criticizing and you don’t get away with anything so it is hard to be embarrassed about much.

I have been recently reminded about an extremely embarrassing moment so I will tell you that one.

I had been a SAHM for about 10 years when it was time for me to think about reentering the business world. I applied for a job through a friend of a friend and was granted an interview. I was slightly nervous. It had been my first interview in over 12 years. All the other jobs I had had were the kind that just fell into my lap. After setting up the first time to meet my soon to be new boss, I received a call from the HR department telling me that I needed to meet with them first. Normally, any other 24 days of the month, this would not have been an issue. But I had just gotten my womanly blessing the day before and I KNEW that I was during the heaviest day of flow. Okay, little chicken here, I had the most HORRIBLE periods of any person I knew. I swore for years that the Lord created me with the parts that he had left off of my brothers, hence the “double d’s” and the uterus the size of Texas. I bled constantly for 8-10 days and the three days after I started I would go through a pad and hour. I could not even wear tampons because the flow would just push them out.

I arrived at the first part of the interview with the HR department, asked to use the bathroom, prepared myself for what I needed to for the next hour and was set to go. The interview ran way past the 1 hour and it was making me late for the next interview across the city. I prayed that I would be okay, but I wasn’t. I arrived at the next location with a puddle on the seat of my car. (Hey side note…QuickNBrite will get blood out of ANYTHING) I hurried inside and requested to use the bathroom there. But it was too late. I had it EVERYWHERE! I ran through, over, up and down. I had it on my panties, hose, slip and the back of my dress. Luckily, it was a red and pink flowered dress. However, after using the bathroom and cleaning up as well as I could, I was ushered into the room we were to be interviewing in, and to my HORROR, they were cloth covered chairs. How the EFF to you ask for something to protect the chair? I asked, fighting back the tears and RED as RED could be, for something to protect the chair.

I got the job. It was the best job evah and for the first part of my employment, I had a very understanding boss.

Now, the moment you have all been waiting for…the passing of the torch…I bestow on these wonderful bloggers, this award for their great accomplishments.

1. Dual Mom over at We’re at Dad’s that Week ~ she says the things we all want to say but sometimes are afraid to…plus she will probably do the “a” for us all.

2. MMTM over at Much More Than Mommy ~ hard to put to words…she is just awesome.

3. ZGirl over at Think Tank Momma ~ talk about the ability to multitask…new baby and two blogs, amazing.

4. Lori over at The Peterson Family ~ this woman is absolutely the BOMB, her photography and her drive will KNOCK THE SOCKS OFF YOU

5. The Countess (bow your head as you say that) over at Welcome to Laurieville! Population 1. If it were not for her, I would not be here now…(and shhhh, it was her sink.)

I could go on and on and you know I love you too...just remember it said only three and I picked 5, so I never was a good one for following the rules.  Feel free to pick it up yourself and play along.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Weekend Wonderment...part 3

I have joked around about my family and the whacky things that happen and after Saturday, the joking was not so funny. The happenings of what took place really bothered my children. So for the first time, in a really long time, we had no plans for a Sunday.

My body, regardless of how bad I would like it to be different, has a really hard time sleeping late. I used to be able to sleep until almost 10 am if I had nothing to do. Now, my bladder wakes me up at 6 am and then the brain won’t go back to sleep, so my butt is out of bed and having a cup of coffee by 7.

This Sunday was no different. The honey was up and had the coffee ready, so we sat and thought about what we could do for the day. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, the sky was clear, and we were not due anywhere. We decided to leave it up to the boys. I went in and woke up the big kids about 9 to ask them their opinions. My thirteen year old suggested a movie and shopping. YUCK! Who wants to do that on a beautiful sunny day? My 16 year old suggested “a more fun mini-golf then the one down the street” and maybe someplace we haven’t been in a while for lunch. My 9 year old did not care; he wanted to sit by the computer all day. That too was NOT going to happen. Jokingly, I said we should go to Old Orchard Beach to play mini golf at the place there. We hadn’t been there for at least 5 years. The kids got all excited. My oldest went out and convinced my husband to drive to Maine for lunch.

That is exactly what we did. We drove out of Massachusetts, up through New Hampshire and then to Maine for lunch. We played car games and Peanut did some homework. We laughed and joked about the spontaneity of the trip and were all excited. There was no fighting, there was no name calling, there was only smiles and laughs.

We arrived at the beach at 12 noon. The perfect time for lunch. We went to our favorite seafood restaurant. We ordered clam cakes, Captain’s plates, fried clams, a chicken tender basket and a turkey club sandwich. The turkey club was for the picky 9 year old Butter who claims he hates seafood. The meals were all huge and we picked off of the plates in the middle. The amount of French fries that they give with your meal could feed an army. We had a few left over.

One of the great things about this restaurant was the extra fries. I think the best time at lunch was the boys getting the fries together at the end to feed them to the seagulls.

This is a picture of the gulls out in the back of the restaurant.

This is them waiting by the door.

This is the FREAK out when Butter open the door to feed them.

He got so scared that he threw the plate and let the door go that half of the fries came back in the restaurant. It took him 6 more tries just to get all the fries out the door.

After lunch, we took a ride to the Fisherman’s CO-OP. They had just finished bringing in the lobster catch from one boat. The wind was a little brisk hence the wearing of the sweatshirts.

Then we went downtown to play mini golf. Can you believe it? They were closed. WE DROVE ALL THE WAY TO MAINE AND THEY WERE CLOSED. We didn’t mind. The town was having this nice little street fair. The wind was cool but when we went for a walk out on the pier this was the scene we got.

Peanut wanted some $20 sunglasses, which call me cheap, I was not paying for. I don’t buy $20 sunglasses; I wasn’t getting a pair for my 13 year old. So we drove to the flea market they have up on Rt. 1 and bought some for $5.

We then went and visited some cousins and headed home. All in all we had a great trip and were home by 6:15 pm. Mission accomplished and we had enough seafood for the next three days too… and the clams were so yummy.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Weekend Wonderment...part 2

I am so glad you came back…

As I was saying yesterday (quick recap in case you are too busy) the first communion went very well and we all spent a good amount of time outside. My #2 brother has not been himself and, um, let me see, any other pertinent information, oh yeah; I don’t hate anyone…blah, blah, blah.

Okay, so the day is going great and all the kids are playing WiffleBall or Frisbee. At one point there had to have been 15 people playing. My Peanut, Butter, and Jelly were three of the kids playing. Butter went to catch the Frisbee and caught it just right on his thumb. Ouchy, it hurt. So #6 brother and I were sitting on the sidelines watching the game assuring Butter that his finger would eventually become gangrenous and fall off. The bigger kids (16 and up) were making sure the little kids (6 and under) had the chance to catch or throw at least once in a while. EVERYONE was having a great time. My #2 brother’s Pissant little brat, I mean second child, decided well into the game that he wanted to play.

Pissant is 12. Pissant has had a habit since he was 4 of hitting people as he walked by them. Pissant has also had a habit of tripping little kids as they were learning how to walk. Pissant has developed this new habit within the last year of walking by the bigger kids and punching them in the crotch. Pissant is not my children’s favorite cousin. However, I come from a HUGE family and my mom and dad have always instilled in me that family is family. When push comes to shove, blood is thicker than water. Every family has a Stephen, his/her name may not be Stephen but everyone has one. That person deserves your love just as much as the next family member…okay, so as I step off my little soap box you can trip me.

At Christmas, Pissant hit Peanut so hard in the crotch that I needed to take him to the doctors three days later because it still hurt. That was when I sat my boys down and laid it all out for them. I don’t care whether he is your cousin or not. He is now 12 years old and perfectly capable to taking responsibility for his own actions. Just because you love someone does not mean you need to take abuse and beatings from them. Stand up for yourself and don’t let it happen.

So, back to the story on hand. Pissant joined the game on Jelly’s side. Jelly, who is falling apart at the age of 16, had his knee all wrapped up in an ace bandage and he was wearing shorts. I tell you his wardrobe so that you are aware of the picture. Jelly caught the Frisbee and handed it to child number 1 on his team to throw. It came back, Peanut caught the Frisbee and threw it, it came back, OtherBigKid caught the Frisbee handed it to child number 2 who threw it, it came back Jelly caught it and threw the Frisbee back. Pissant jumped on Jelly’s back and tried to wrestle him to the ground. Jelly shrugged him off and told him “stay off my back”. Pissant is no small child. The Frisbee comes back and Jelly catches it and hands it off to the last child under 6 to throw. Pissant runs up to Jelly’s face and screams at him telling him that it is his turn to throw the Frisbee. Jelly tells Pissant, it is not, and in order for him to throw he needs to catch. It seemed fair to those of us on the sidelines. Well Pissant kicked a WiffleBall at Jelly. Jelly picked it up, waited until Pissant turned around and tossed it at his butt. At which Pissant, laughed, called Jelly a nasty little name, and whipped the WiffleBall at Jelly’s head. Jelly turned quickly to avoid the eyeglasses or the braces and got the WiffleBall right in the ear. Ouch, it HURT. Jelly yelled at Pissant and said WTF Jack “butt” you don’t whip things at people’s heads. (I did correct him later for the improper language) Pissant ran at him and tried to kick him in the knee. At which point in time, I went to get up and noticed Jelly handled himself pretty good. He grabbed his arm, swung his body and put him in a choke hold. As Pissant was trying to hit, kick, and bite, yes I said bite at the age of 12, Jelly held him at bay. The adults stepped forward at that time because they knew the only one hurt was Jelly and said it was enough. Jelly let go of Pissant and Pissant let out this hysterical laugh. That is when the shit hit the fan.

Pissant’s mother came flying out of the house screaming, and I mean screaming at the top of her lungs. Screaming at Jelly. She had “seen the whole thing from the kitchen window”. Jelly had no right to hurt him. There was no need for Jelly to even touch him. She had seen Jelly throw the ball at his head first… (that would explain why the kid is such a butthead) and all of a sudden Pissant started screaming and crying. Ow, he was in so much pain, oh, he needed an icepack, Ow, he needed to go inside and have his mommy rub the pains.

I could give a rats buttocks if his mom yelled at Jelly. The thing that got me is that the bitch-o-rama long after the whole thing played out went to get my #2 brother to come out and yell at Jelly. This was 5 minutes later…everyone had moved on…my #2 brother, who lets this little Pissant speak to him in a way that my children would be shitting teeth after speaking to their father, came out to yell at my child because his WIFE told him to. WTF have you put your balls buddy? Who the EFF are you and what have you done to my brother? I want him back.

Oh and BTW, my son was pretty hurt. By late Saturday night the swelling started to go down on the ear and this is what was left by Sunday.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Weekend Wonderment...

The family “fun” has begun.

A few posts back I mentioned that with the spring and summer brings family “fun” just about every weekend. In the beginning, I also mentioned that my family puts the “fun” in dysfunctional and boy this past weekend has certainly proven that point.

On Saturday, we had a beautiful spring day here in the great northeast. The temperatures reached into the 80’s and the flowers were all blooming. It was a perfect day for two little angels that I am related to. My #2 brother’s 3rd child and my #7 brother’s first child made their first communion. This was very exciting for the two of them. After spending the last two years in preparation for the big day it was finally here and they looked beautiful.

The family all gathered at my mom’s house after the ceremony to celebrate with the two of them. The extended families came. We had a great spread of food that was put out by my SILs. There was salad and sandwiches, meatballs and pasta, really yummy homemade clam chowder, baked good and lots and lots of beverages. The spread was devoured by over 34 people. We were missing a few family members. #1 and his family, #5, and #3’s family were all missing. Had everyone been there, it would have added at least another 12 people. This would have been fine, we spent most of the day outside.

The stories were flowing and some of those I will get to in another post. But today, I just want to talk about 1 individual, well actually 3. This would be #2 and his wife and 2nd child.

I don’t hate anyone. No matter what has been done or said, I find that hating someone just cannot be done. So please do not take this story as hate, take it more as disappointment for situations that arise.

I have mentioned in past posts that my #2 brother has not been himself lately. Truth be told he has been a shell of the person we all know and love. There are many theories floating around in my family and seeing as though I am in my bubble most of the time, I hear them but don’t respond. I can only say what I see for myself. He never smiles anymore. #2 was one of the biggest jokers that ever walked the earth. He always smiled and flirted and his famous line to any female that he ever met was “you look more beautiful every time I see you.” That is not the case anymore. For at least the last year, if not a little longer, he stays away from the rest of us. Whenever we get together, he can be found in a room by himself or standing in the corner of the kitchen. Back in February when the kids came to visit, the kid’s half sister S, nicknamed him the lurker. The entire time they were there, he stood in the corner of my kitchen. He talked to very few of us but without his wife around he was at least more sociable than he had been for quite some time. This Saturday, he spent the ENTIRE time (minus getting his food and the two minutes that will be discussed later) in the living room, on the loveseat, speaking with no one.

I also mentioned within the last two weeks, that #2 has become a “Crumpa”. I remember very fondly, my dad whenever he held a grandchild, the smile of pride that would overcome his face. Even that did not put a smile on my brother. In fact, he would not even look at the camera. The baby arrived and the ooh’s and ahh’s were everywhere. I knew that #2 was in the living room with the baby and went in to talk to him about it. He grunted a few answers to my questions and then ignored the fact that anyone else was even there. I did get a picture or two, and that baby is just a joy.

Come back tomorrow for the rest of the story…