Saturday, February 27, 2010

A loved one, lost?

Knowing full well that Saturdays are not a day that many sit in front of the computer and read the silly gooses like us that have no lives’ blogs, I thought this was a good time to post this.


I mentioned that last weekend there were a lot of things that were said and done that I would post about and this one is slightly upsetting to me.

I wrote to you about #8 before. If you are new you NEED to go back and read. I love all my brothers, I really do, but this brother has a special, very special, place in my heart. I want so bad to hold him under my wing and protect him from all things bad. I know full well that he could kick some serious ass but as the big sister I feel horrible when things go wrong for him.

He recently dumped his second girl in the last few years and found someone new. This girl is okay. She is quiet, but who wouldn’t be if you met our crowd for the first time in a setting like Saturday night. There is nothing serious about this relationship but why am I telling you this…oh yeah, you new people might think he is still available. Well he is not. And let me tell you why…

#8 went back to work for the Air Force as a civilian. He recently had the opportunity to join back up as a reserve and he took the opportunity. He loves his job and loves what he does. He loves it so much but is so heartbroken and feeling like he needs a change, that he applied for a new job.

Okay, so it is not a new job, it is the same job only better. And in GERMANY. As you may remember he just came back to the area. I see him regularly now and never realized how much I missed him until he came back. And now he is going away. This is a great opportunity for him and I don’t want to sound selfish, BUT…

I was telling my husband this story on Sunday. I didn’t think anything of it. I thought that it was just something that I needed to share. We have no secrets in my house, we don’t believe in keeping anything from the kids or each other. So to tell this story to my husband, I never thought that it would cause a to do.

I looked over my shoulder to where Peanut was sitting, very quietly, to see him crying. This broke my heart. My heart broke in three and tears started to flow. I, sit here now typing this and crying at the same time, a week after it happened, because I know his pain.

This job will be for three years. Germany is not right around the corner, it is not a hop skip and a jump down the road for a beer, it isn’t dinner once a month and a trip to the mall to make fun of people. It is overseas, many hours away, a passport for 5, you know what I mean.

I am dreading the call…I know that it is coming. My mother doesn’t know yet and I am saddened for her most of all. #8 came back and has been her backbone for three years since my dad passed. He is her baby, her rock, and her safety net for emotions. He knows what she is going through and he knows her pain of loosing a loved one to cancer. Only HE DID IT TWICE!

I wish you the best #8; I love you dearly and hope the world for you. I only a little in the depths of my bottom dwelling feelings hope the job does not come through.

Friday, February 26, 2010

"Heart"s to Heart

It’s kind of funny how it is Friday and I know very few people have a chance to read on Friday’s and yet that is when I finally have the time to write.


I mentioned how the whole group of kids was at my house for the family get together last weekend and I mentioned how much fun we all had. What I didn’t mention was the feeling of love that I felt all weekend long.

The family is broken into two separate groups of kids, actually three if you count my older two. #1, #2, and #3 were all married with children before I even finished college. By the time I was getting married all three (#3 on the way) of those marriages were broken up. So I have older nieces and nephews and I have younger nieces and nephews. The older group is 28, 22, 22 21, 20, and 19 the younger group ranges from 3-10.

Growing up in a family with nieces and nephews, I did a lot of babysitting for the kids. I may or may not have mentioned that #2’s first marriage was a farce from the beginning. His son, now 22, was very often put into my care because the mother didn’t want to stop her life to raise a child. “P” we will call him, was told he was stupid and will never amount to much, by his mom. Many times, he was brought over for the weekend visit, without shoes. One year, we were going to a Halloween party and P did not have a costume. My brother was not a handy or crafty person and P wanted to be a Teenage Ninja Turtle. My parents had just bought a new dryer so I had the chance to cut out a giant round circle out of cardboard. I had P help me color it with green and brown crayons. We then make markings to make it look like a turtle shell. I had an old dress with a red belt. We cut that in pieces made a mask and a belt for him. We dressed him in green and off to the party he went as Donatello.

This story was brought up on Saturday night as the kids sat around after all the adults left and I was cleaning up. P and S were sitting in the kitchen talking about remember when. J and A came out to see what they were doing, eating and talking of course, and they sat down to join in. A mentioned the time that she cut all the heads off of any pictures that I had in my room and I freaked out on her. She was three and I was 19. J remembered the time that I took him for a week down at camp and showed him how to fish. S remembered the time that I took him for a week and taught him how to canoe. P came up with a million stories but said the TMNT story was the one that he would remember for all time. He said that he had that turtle shell until he was 16. He loved the fact that I would be willing to do that for him.

I excused myself from the room to wipe my eyes. I could not believe how much good memories these kids had and how I thought that for years they were scarred from all the bad that had happened to them. When I returned to the kitchen, Butter had joined the big kids and he was asking about when “my mom was their age”. S and P both said, “Your mom was no different then than she is right now, except she is older now. One thing that you will always know about Auntie Mae is that no matter what happens to you or how bad you mess up, she will never judge you. Auntie Mae is like a sanctuary that you can go to and spill your guts. Auntie Mae will take you in and love you no matter what you do with your life, or don’t do. She loves you the same no matter.”

Butter smiled, gave me a hug, and told me that he was so glad that he got me as a mom and not some mean lady like other people sometimes get. I started crying again.

Earlier that day, J and I had had a very long heart to heart. When J had been thrown out of the house at the age of 17 he went to Florida to live with his dad #3. While there he spent many hours by himself or in the care of the neighbor. He told me that most of the time that he spent with his dad was going to AA meetings. Who the F takes their kids to AA meetings. That one shocked me. Let me tell you that not much shocks me with #3, really not much at all, but this one did. J told me that my brother attended anywhere between 7-14 AA meetings a week and if he didn’t want to stay home he went along. The coffee was gross. That was all they served there.

Many times he went to hang with the neighbor instead of going with his dad. The neighbor would give him a beer and would smoke a joint with him. This neighbor was in his late 20’s so for him that was no big deal. J mentioned that he spent many a day there, skipping school most times to get stoned. He ended up not graduating but getting a GED instead. He still drank, has a girl friend now that he has sex with, and still likes to smoke a good joint every now and then. He told me out of respect he didn’t bring any with him because his sister reminded him that was a guest in my home. I didn’t judge during this conversation, I didn’t even lecture. I sat and listened, nodded my head and told him that I loved him no matter what. I wanted to see him succeed in life and do well for himself. We talked about drugs and how they can affect you and your work. We talked about how sex needs to be considered with birth control and not with just anyone. We talked a lot about a lot of different subjects.

While I say there wiping my eyes after Butters hug. J got up, gave me a bone crushing hug and said, “P is right, you are not the normal aunt.”

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Tuesday, no Wednesday, no darn it is Thursday already

Okay, things are a little more settled down right now at work and I still have a ton to do but the catholic guilt of not posting the thing that is roasting my buns so hot right now is dying to get out.

Okay, if you don’t remember #5, then you need to go back and read about him.

Saturday morning during my love affair with Mr. Clean, my phone rang. I was kind of surprised that it didn’t ring a multitude of time before then, but I guess my sisters-in-law finally got the hint. Back to my story, #5 was on the phone. “What am I supposed to bring tonight?”

My answer…”Are you serious?”

#5 “yes”

Me “it is a pot luck, you just bring something”

#5 “Can you think of anything that someone else is not bringing? I need something easy.”

Me “I really don’t know what to tell you. If you have any paper products, why don’t you bring those? It will save me a trip to the store because all I have are Christmas plates and I really don’t want to put those out.”

#5 “Yeah, I’ll do that and maybe some Kielbasa in barbeque sauce in the crock pot”

Me “sounds great. Are you coming alone?”

RED FLAG - RED FLAG - RED FLAG - RED FLAG!!!!!!!!!!

Crap, Open mouth insert foot…for the next half an hour I had to hear all about how bitchy mc bitch is pissed at him because he has been an (this one is for you ) PISSANT.

#5 is dating the biggest BIATCH that ever walked the face of the earth….okay, I don’t mean to piss anyone off, but in the state of Massachusetts it takes A LOT for the courts to not grant the mother custody of her child. This woman does not have custody of her child and she is only allowed to have her every other weekend with hourly check ins during awake time. WTF – don’t want to ask. But HE is doing things that are upsetting to her, like taking her out to dinner on her birthday, when he knew DAMN well she could not afford to take him out on his. Buying her flowers for VD, knowing full well that the child support that she pays each month was due that week and she could not afford a card….oh boy, I could go on forever.

So being the big sister and ever so caring and understanding, I told #5 to take his head out of his ass and start going to church services or crack house reunions to find a more normal girl than this and stop thinking with his “FRIEND”

That being said, I hung up and went on with my cleaning.

#5 showed up ½ hour later than everyone else…tell me I was not pissed that I had to put out my Christmas paper plates. But that was okay…because he showed up with Christmas Styrofoam plates. Only his were green and said ho ho ho…just like his girlfriend…slap…MaeRae that was so not nice. (#2 said it first) HA HA HA

Everyone took their belongings home with them on Saturday night. Most people rinsed out their dishes, packed up the left over’s and took their stuff home. Most people, I said. #5 left his on the table and told me that he would be back sometime to pick it up. Unfreakingbelieveabley ballsy, I say. So I packed up what was left, gave it to #8 to take home, rinsed the crock pot and handed that to #8 too since he lives ½ mile from #5’s work. Washed hands of the whole deal.

The next morning he called. “hey sis”, “was there any left over’s from last night?’, “I have nothing in my fridge and thought I would come raid what was left over in yours”, “the kids are still there?”, “oh that’s right, I thought I heard something about you making breakfast”, “I will pick up a loaf of bread and see you in about an hour”

I needed to clean up the blood spewing from the sides of my mouth where I was biting my tongue. I have a picture…the best part of the whole thing is this picture was taken at 10:30 AM…and yes that is a beer that he is washing down his scrambled eggs and bacon with…..ASSHOLE!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Weekend over...

I need to start this post by telling you we had the greatest weekend EVAH! The kids came to visit…and if you didn’t hear about them before this post go back and read here.


I could not be a prouder aunt. These kids were the best mannered, sweetest, most understanding kids you have ever in your life met.

Okay, let’s start by telling you how the weekend started. “A” called on Friday to make sure I knew the plans for pick ups and about what time I should expect them to arrive. She told me she was driving up to Gorham to pick up the older two boys and had “T” with her. Then they would be heading down to Massachusetts. They should arrive around 1 or so unless they ended up getting lunch somewhere with some friends or another relative. Then she asked if “S2” could come along…

Then, need to back up is now in order…remember how I told you #3 had 5 children. His wife had thrown his “FN” behind to the curb and was finding that things were not that easy financially. The state had told her that she wasn’t going to have to worry because she now was going to get so much assistance…she was naive and believed them. Well, she took in a roommate, a jerry springer show later; she was pregnant with the roommate’s boyfriend’s baby. “S2”

So, the five kids climbed into this little Toyota tercel and headed out on a 4 hour drive to come and visit the family.

I kicked Butter out of the house early so I could clean. He was off to a birthday party for one of his friends and I was a cleaning fool. I started my affair and was just finishing up about the time the kids came at 2. They scoped out the sleeping arrangements and proceeded to look for games to play. These kids are a close knit family.

I heard stories that would make your hair curl, and if it is curly, stand straight on end. The terrible things that these kids endured were horrible but the love they have for each other and the strength that each of them gives to each other is absolutely amazing.

Butter arrived home and the kids helped him finish his chores and the fun began. They played boggle, jenga, Pictionary, cribbage, Uno,

Here is the group of 4 kids playing Jenga with Butter.

The guests started arriving around 5:30 or so in the evening. First my in-laws showed up. You see, even though they are my in-laws my family considers them family any way. And since my father in law just lost his mom and was feeling kind of family empty, I invited them to come over for dinner and to see the kids. They haven’t seen the kids in about 8-10 years and so they were so excited to see how big they had gotten.

“S” is about 6’ 4” he is the one in the dark hair, “A” is the only girl and about 6 feet tall, “J” is the red headed and 6’4” as well, and “T” is the one always with a baseball hat on and he is just shy of 6’.

Next arrived my mom and #8….oh, big goings on there and I will have to post that story at a later time too….and his new “girl” friend but not girlfriend. Then, #2 and his two children and hey brought some really yummy buffalo chicken wings. Then #6, wife and two children who brought a huge salad and pita bread with taboule and babaganoush. Nephew “P” showed up by himself, which was slightly disappointing at first but ended up being for the best in the long run. #5 alone (thank heavens because that is another story), #1, wife and step daughter, all showed up about the same time with shrimp and pot stickers. And then #7, his wife and youngest came bringing more chicken, meatballs, salad, brownies, and soda.

We had a ton of food and a ton of fun. I have a picture to show you …this is my mom with 13 of her 18 grandchildren…”S2” is in there taking up space for her missing brother.


This is a pic of 5 uncles, 1 aunt (guess who), and the nieces and nephews.


perspective in height, my kitchen has 10 foot ceilings, that boarder over my sink is at 7 ft, the height of a door jam. That's "J on the far right.

I got more stories to tell but this is the fun stuff right now.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

How proud can I be...

These kids are absolutely talented.  I am soooo proud...T is the immortal man




Hope you enjoyed!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Bring IT ON!

Holy Leaping Lizards, this week has been CRAZY! I asked everyone I saw if a full moon was in the works and NOPE not even close.


I am posting today about a gathering that is about to happen at my house this weekend. I am actually quite excited about the whole thing. I will clean tonight after the boys leave for their campout and tomorrow morning I will start my affair with the bald man and my kitchen floor will shine just in time for the hoards of people to converge at my home.

My house is a VERY small house. It is an apartment. We own the house and live on the second story. A modest 1100 sq ft apartment where the five of us reside. This seems like the Taj Mahal compared to the little 600 sq ft camp we spend the summer in. So it should not take long to clean. THEN…

#1, his wife and two step children, #2, his wife and two younger children, #5, and possibly the bitch and her daughter, #6, his wife and two children, #7, his wife and two children, #8, and my mother will all be coming over to spend Saturday evening for a pot luck dinner all because #3’s older four children are coming for a visit.

Now, if by any chance you are new around this blog and don’t know anything about #3, YOU HAVE TO GO BACK AND READ THIS, THIS, AND THIS.

We have had very limited visits with the children in the past 10 years. The oldest of #3’s children (age 22), I have not seen in at least 8 years. He has never met my youngest child. #3’s daughter (age 21), I have seen more than any of them. She recently got her license and bought a car so she has been around more than the others. #3’s third, a son (age 20) I have not seen since my dad got sick 3 ½ years ago. #3’s fourth child, another son, (age 19) I have not seen since my dad got sick as well.

We are all very excited to see them all. These kids have gone through HELL! This is no exaggeration. I give them so much credit and am so proud of all they have accomplished with what they have had.

S, the oldest, had a really rough time. Remember this kid was the oldest. During the time that my brother left, S was the one sent around to the neighbors to borrow an egg, a glass of milk, a cup of sugar, a cup of flour, any thing at all that they could spare so my SIL could put something together to feed the four children. He went to school hungry and was picked on for wearing dirty clothes. He spent years with a speech impediment. By the time he was 10 and they moved to Maine, my SIL got a boyfriend and S was locked in bathrooms or spare bedrooms and told he could not eat because he was already too fat and needed to loose weight. The boyfriend would punch and kick him until he cried and tell him he was a wimp and he would continue to do this until he stopped crying because he wasn’t going to have any babies in his house.

As S, got older he started taking out his beatings on his little brothers. He would do the same thing to them. He was kicked out of the house and made to live with a neighbor because the state said he was dangerous to the younger children. My niece came home one day from school (13 yrs old) and found that her brother had broken into the house and attempted suicide in the bathroom. Called 911 and he was sent away to a group home until he was 18. He now has straightened out his life. He has a full time job and is trying to make a better life for himself.

A, my niece, divorced her mother at the age of 14 and moved out of the house. She knew that the boyfriend was doing these horrible things to her brothers and was not listened to at all. She fought to have her brothers taken care of by the state, called the cops on the boyfriend, filed suits against him, maintained straight A’s, received full scholarships to college, is now 3 months away from graduating college with ¼ of her requirements for a Masters, has traveled to Paris and Milan for school related programs, joined the dance team and got herself an apartment off campus, got her license last year, bought a car. WOW, this girl has done more with her life in 21 years than I have done in 41.

J, #3’s third, had the same problems that S had, only he was younger. He took the abuse from the boyfriend and when A stepped in moved to Florida to be with my brother. Things didn’t necessarily work out down there, my brother can be a little, well, lets not go there, and moved back home. J never finished high school and his sister A has been on him the past year to make that change. He received his GED and is now in the manager program at a local sub shop. He has a girl friend that the kids all love and spends very little time dealing with the past.

T, the fourth, was just like his sister, only difference was that he was the one tormented by his big brother. He spent many a day, hanging from the wall by his underwear. Don’t get me started on what this kid dealt with but he again was determined that this was not the life for him. Straight A student, full scholarships to college, now a freshman in college and doing great.

I love these kids and am very excited that they decided to come to visit and stay at my house for the weekend. I am not sure how the 6’4”, 270 lb, kids are going to like sleeping in my little kids twin beds but they will be treated like kings otherwise.

My Butter can’t wait to meet the “cousins he didn’t know he had”. My hubby and two older children are on a campout weekend and are due home for breakfast on Sunday Morning. I have planned to make the breakfast of champions. I bought 4 dozen eggs, three loaves of bread, 2 pounds of bacon, and 4 pounds of sausage, 10 pounds of potatoes and 3 gallons of milk. I hope it is enough to feed 6 boys, 2 adults and a 21 year old girl.

Will post on Monday to let you know how it all went.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I am not the most virtuous person.

It is not that often that I post pictures. Mostly because I am incompetent or don’t carry my camera around with me. Sometimes, the pictures that I post are sent to me by others or it takes me three days to remember that I took them to begin with. 

Today, I have some pictures to share with you. The theme of the day is Patience and Wisdom.

These are two very good virtues to have and also to practice.

Yesterday, we had a snow storm. Funny thing is we have had almost no snow all year. Every time the forecast says snow, it ends up being blown off to sea and we see a dusting to an inch. So when it actually started snowing to beat the band yesterday, people started panicking.

Not I, see I have patience. If you have learned anything from my posts you will see, I have a lot of patience. The boss sent me home early because I have such a long drive home.


This is what my drive home was like…

It was beautiful. I was constantly looking at the landscape thinking how beautiful Mother Nature can be…

Wisdom on the other hand, yeah…I don’t use it very often. See, all of a sudden, I remembered that my cell phone takes pictures. So that is where the pictures come from. Oh, and I was driving…not to smart.


See the smudge in the picture…that is my windshield wiper.

This post was brought to you today by an email that my uncle sent me…this email was entitled Patience and Wisdom…two great virtues.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

waiting...

 I sit here at work waiting very patiently for a phone call to come in from the West coast. I think they are on lunch right about now. Either way, I can not leave my desk for fear of missing this phone call. You need to understand why this is so important to me. My horoscope says…


• Attempts to contact others in different states or foreign countries today could go awry, Sagittarius, as technology that we tend to take for granted, such as telephones and the Internet, could malfunction, perhaps due to solar flares. There isn't much point in making yourself crazy, as this is beyond human control. The only thing you can do is wait! In the meantime, do something else that you love.

So, I am doing something that I love. I am reading from my blogger and writing on my blog.

What do you love? I mean if you had to wait…what would you spend the time on?

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Rat-a-tat-tat! My inner drum is beating.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you out there in bloggy land. There, that is all I have to say on the matter because today, in my little blog, I am beating to my own drum.


When I was younger, if my parents were to ever tell me that I needed to go to church twice in one day, I would have kicked and screamed and stomped my feet. Doesn’t every girl do just that? Maybe not, but that is how I think I would have reacted. Well today, Peanut and I went to two masses (one in memory of my dad and Peanut and Jelly were serving the second) and there was something about the gospel that hit me funny at first and then harder the second time around.

The gospel was Luke’s renditions of the beatitudes.

And he came down with them and stood on a level place, with a great crowd of his disciples and a great multitude of people from all Judea and Jerusalem and the seacoast of Tyre and Sidon, who came to hear him and to be healed of their diseases; And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said: "Blessed are you poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you that hunger now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you that weep now, for you shall laugh. Blessed are you when men hate you, and when they exclude you and revile you, and cast out your name as evil, on account of the Son of man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets. But woe to you that are rich, for you have received your consolation. Woe to you that are full now, for you shall hunger. Woe to you that laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep. Woe to you, when all men speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets. “

Have you ever really thought about the beatitudes really hard? Have you ever thought about why the poor, hungry and the sad are blessed more than those who are rich, full, and happy? I never have until this past week and a half.

I have been reading the story of Bronson Staker. I don’t know if you have been following his story, but tears of joy and pain will be a box of tissues for you if you go now. How sad I was reading this story and as I prayed for this little boy and his family every night I had my boys saying prayers for this family too. How much closer were we to God when we were sad?

When you are being put down on a daily basis or even more than once a day, do you wonder why? Isn’t this a time when you look to God for strength? Again, you are blessed.

I mentioned a post or two ago, I follow the beat of my own drum. Lately, it is a ratatatting pretty strong and steady.

Why should I be the one putting a rung in the ladder to heaven of those people who may or may not deserve some bad mouthing? Aren’t I a strong enough person to believe in my own convictions? I will not now nor will I ever be one who criticizes your beliefs. I love people. I believe that you should be brought up instead of being put down.

For now, think about every time you say something hurtful or mean to others, you are only building their ladder higher and stronger.

Think about the first line in today's gospel.  He did not speak from above His people, He came down to level ground.

And to that, I say Happy Valentine's Day. This day is dedicated to a man who stood up for his convictions and beliefs. Be strong!

Friday, February 12, 2010

i gotta secret, i gotta secret

Heaven’s to Mergatroid Betsy, It is FRIDAY!


I am glad that the weekend is finally here, I am even happier that it is a three day weekend.

I got a few secrets to tell…okay, okay, not really secrets but tidbits of information shared with me that I can now share with you because you don’t know her and the other one was on the internet in email form so I thought it too funny not to share.

First Secret,

Now this one is a doosie! My friend BLANK is pregnant. Oh yeah, pregnant. Well, since you don’t know BLANK you may not know why this is such exciting news. BLANK is not married, BLANK does not have a boyfriend, BLANK isn’t quite sure who the daddy is, and BLANK is 40!

PHEW! I have been holding that in for over 4 days. She made me promise not to tell a soul. I couldn’t not tell someone…I told her that! She said I could tell someone as long as they didn’t know her. So there you have it…there is one of my secrets.

Second Secret,

I am Catholic and my Uncle B who is really devout sent me this email about the Catholic secrets, I hope you find them as funny as I did.

This information is for Catholics only. It must not be divulged to non-Catholics. The less they know about our rituals and top secret code words, the better off they are.

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: Your receipt for attending Mass.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the Parish to lip-sync.

HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

HYMN: A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.

RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

KYRIE ELEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. (for you non-Catholics it means Lord have mercy)

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.

PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.

RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot.

RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit, kneel, and stand.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.


I especially found the Jesuit one funny, only cause I know one of them…Have a great weekend everyone!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Drumming & Updating! just a little catch up!

I have never really been a follower. I am not really a leader either. I am the type of person who beats to my own drum. In this little head of mine, the drum beats a very unique beat. There have been occasions where my drum has been mixed in with the sounds of trumpets and flutes.


Today is what I call a personal development day. The forecast is for snow, and from what I understand, a significant amount during the busiest part of the work day. So I decided to stay home.

A month or so ago, I was complaining about the year of 2009 and how it was not such a good year for me. The year ended with my car accident just before Christmas and my $180 speeding ticket the day after. Life was handing me a bunch of grapes and I was not about to make jelly and get stuck, so I made wine and turned the luck around.

I paid my ticket like the law abiding citizen that I am. There was only one catch. I could not read the ticket and could have sworn on a stack of Twilight books that the officer told me I was going 48 miles an hour. Well, he wrote the ticket for 49 and I wrote my check for $180 when the ticketed amount was $190.

Last week I got a letter saying they were suspending my license because I didn’t pay the ticket and charged me an extra $70 for my mistake.

I am the first to admit when it was me…ha ha ha…no I am not, I will point a finger and say you…ha ha ha…no, I won’t but I hate being wrong. I went to the registry of motor vehicles this morning before it even opened and requested a hearing to decrease the amount owed from 80 to 10. It worked, but while I was there, my drum started beating. The trumpets and the flutes were playing loudly and to a really great upbeat rhythm.

I came to the realization that I am the perfect employee to work for the Registry of Motor Vehicles in the state of Massachusetts. I would floor the citizens and they would not even mind if I over charged them because of my smile. No one there smiles. No one there even considers you part of the human race. The “Customer Service” woman was rude and unfreakingbelievably WRONG. She needed a visit to the proctologist to get whatever crawled up her ass and died to be removed. I stood there listening to her scream, cuss, backtalk and all out treat people like dirt. “Over there”, “are you blind”, “do you have a problem understanding MY English” were some of the things I heard her say to people. If it were me, I would have had some of the same reactions as the others, who swore back at her and called her names. When it came my turn, I smiled a great big smile and told her it was obvious that only ½ hour into her day that things could only get better. Smiled again and told her that I was sent back here by the hearing officer to pay my $10. Paid and told her to have the most amazing day that she could possibly have and walked away. Her tone to the next person in line was upbeat and she pleasantly told the man that there was a table to the side of her booth with pens for his convenience.

It amazes me still that a simple smile and pleasant tone can change the mood someone is in. Even if it only lasted one or two people behind me, I felt better about my beat.

I haven’t been really good about posting my LOOSE IT BITCHES weights or successes, well because again my drummer is going on and on, I can’t follow, I need structure and don’t know how to achieve it. But I am doing what I am supposed to be doing and here is the latest scale reading.

In 4 weeks I am down 6.4 pounds. It is not the pound thing that I am so proud about but the looseness of my size 12 jeans. I have been doing weight workouts for an hour every Monday, intense core workouts on Wednesdays and multi-discipline workouts on Fridays. I have dropped three inches in my waist, my shoulder blades are showing through my skin, my 4th chin is almost gone and I am feeling really good about the work I have been putting forward.

I realize that by the time you get to the bottom of this post you are thinking, when the fruckingtruck is she going to shut up, but I got one more thing to say.

Courtney, over at One Loopy Life, gave me an award the other day that means so much to me. She said it was because I always had the nicest comments for her blog. Go check her out and see that beautiful little girl she has and tell me if you could even think about saying anything bad. Never!

Oh, and my drum says that I am beating in such a way that I could not possibly follow the rules, so I give this reward back to all of you that are reading my blog today, because YOU are the Sunshine of my day EVERYDAY!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Why can't it just be easy?

The craziness that is my life just arrived in my inbox.


I am not sure how to handle this one. I am very nervous and a little hesitant. Let me tell you why…

I have been on a plane twice in the last year, both times by myself, both times for work. Prior to that I had only gone to Florida with my mom and two older kids twice. Other than that travel was not one of those things I did very often. Okay, never.

They just sent out the convention schedule for the year. I don’t remember signing up…oh yeah, because I didn’t. My before-9am-yesterday’s boss signed me up. Both conventions are scheduled for October. Both conventions are in the south. Both conventions are on this side of the Mississippi. Does NOBODY ever listen to me? I guess not. The HUBBY is going to flip.

Oh when I say flip, I mean flip.

It puts a freaking wrench into my gloriously planned life.

You see, here is my problem. I like schedules. I don’t like unexpected things to be planned without my planning them myself. (okay, so that made no sense on paper but it does in my head so work with me here, will ya?)

I take one vacation a year. It is my vacation. I spend a week on Martha’s Vineyard with the women of my family. HA HA HA if you read anything about me prior to this you know that means ME and my mom. My aunt and my cousin are there in their own room and one year my other two cousins came too. I don’t know about this year, but that is what my annual plans are.

I have a fairly new job (within a year-pinpoint 321 days) so last year I only had one weeks vacation. This year I have 23 days that I can use for what ever I need them for (sick time, holidays, and vacation, whatever). So this year was the year. I was taking my kids to Disney.

I have been twice, once when I was 12 (for 3 days) and the other when I was 32 (for a day). My husband has been once when he was 14. We were going to take our kids this fall around Thanksgiving. They have never been. One of the few downfalls of never having enough money to make the rent, prior to now, was not being able to take our kids on a trip like that. Now we can do it.

Only problem is…how the heck am I supposed to fit it all in. One week vacation, last week in September, two conventions, one in Kissimmee and the other in New Orleans, in October, and then Disney in November. The hubby does not have that kind of time to take off. He would need to find a nanny or something of that sort because he works at 5 in the morning and the kids don’t get on the bus until 7, 7:15, and 8am.

Looks like the kids are doing a great job and getting out of school in October, so that the week I am in Kissimmee, is the week we go to Disney. Hubby is going to FREAK!

Monday, February 8, 2010

I am trying to see the bad...sorry only positive here.

It is Monday afternoon, it has been one wild and crazy last couple of weeks and I don’t foresee it calming down much in the future.


Did you know that Pompeii was buried under hundreds of miles of molten ash and lava many years ago? About the time Jesus walked the earth; Mount Vesuvius erupted and buried an entire civilization? In the year 1995 a park was erected and more people have traveled through that park than lived in the city before it was destroyed? Huh, did you know that? Well, neither did I until my 8 year old decided it would be great dinner conversation.

I joked around a few months back that work was interfering with my blogging and that is most definitely the case lately. A few years back I went through a time where I could not stand my boss. She had become the wicked witch of the GLOBE and I needed to get out. Well, recently the same thing had started to happen all over again and I really feared for my job, again. If you have never experienced thinking that you might have to start all over again, it is a horrible feeling.

My boss started to micromanage me. It started scaring me. Someone would ask me for a page of a report and I would send it to them with her cc’d. She would come back with comments like don’t do it. I want you to make sure before you email anyone you come to me first. I want approval on every email you send out. The VP came to me and stood above me asking me to explain how I come up with my reports and as he stood there asking me to send him the link for my report she stood over his shoulder. The minute he walked away she asked me to come in and sit. She didn’t want me telling him how I came across certain information. Going forward she wanted me to tell him to go see her first and if it were approved to then go ahead and do it. This is her boss’ boss. The VP of the department. I was feeling really weird. Many times after something like that would happen, my boss’s boss would come and apologize for what ever just happened. I was going home feeling a little weird about things.

I came in this morning feeling even weirder about the mood in the office. This is a place that everyone sits and types all day long. No one talks to each other, they IM the person in the next cubicle. Very odd. Today, everyone sat up straight as I came in the office today. They watched me very closely as I sat at my desk and settled down my things. The boss’s boss called me into her office. She sat me down and told me that she had some bad news. OH SHIT! This is the point in which you panic.

They let my boss go.

And this was bad news?

I still had a job. A job that was not going to be affected except for maybe a few additional reports that I was not in charge of before.

And this was bad news?

I may have my title changed and hence an increase in salary.

And this was bad news?

My boss was let go. I feel bad for her in this economy to loose your job unexpectantly sucks, yes it does. But PHEW, I feel like a dodged a bullet.

She is gone now and the day has moved on without a lot more craziness but it will affect the amount of time I have to blog and the time I have to read. I promise that it won’t change me.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Life is like a Gerbil Ball

It has been a long and crazy week already and it is only Thursday. I have so much to tell and yet so little time to tell it in. I want to start off by telling you that the past week and a half have been pretty great. I took last Monday the 25th off to run Jelly around and spent a wonderful afternoon with him. The hubby called about 11 am and asked what time I would be leaving to pick him up. When he found out the time, he asked if I would be up for company. Of course I was. We had a wonderful lunch while Jelly was being fitted for braces and we were able to talk.


On Tuesday and Wednesday nights we spent extra time at the dinner table talking about things that we could do as a family since we were not watching TV or anything else electronic. It was so much fun playing games. Last week, we took out games we haven’t played in FO-EVAH. Remember my children are 16, 13, and 8. We played Chutes and Ladders and Clue Jr. Butter won both of those games.

The honey got a little concerned that the boys were taking the no electronics to mean that they did not need to do the regular every day chores. So we spent one night last week making a chore chart for the boys. There are of course rewards associated with it in addition to the penalties for not doing it. For the next two months the boys will be cooking supper, doing the dishes, and setting and washing the table. These are all things that they do on a weekly basis anyway. But to kick it up a notch, which is what I am famous for, the bathroom cleaned, the dusting done, the vacuuming and all of the laundry washed, swapped, folded and put away are on their chore chart for the next two months. If it is all done, well 50 checks in a week, we will treat them to a dinner out. This could mean pizza or subs, my boys are not picky. This is good for a Saturday night when it is my turn to cook.

If the chores are not done there will be no computer or video games for the whole weekend. This is motivation for the oldest one but after last week the youngest one could care less.

Tuesday afternoon, my husbands grandmother passed away, and when I went to work on Wednesday my boss told me that I had three days bereavement coming to me for the death and since the honey had taken the days I figured I would to. A mini vacation and special time to spend with the honey paid. We enjoyed each others company so much. We went out to breakfast on Friday morning and spent some time grocery shopping and relaxing on the couch with each other. It was a great time.

The honey had a weekend work thing that he was doing. It is more like having fun and getting paid to do it. He was a vendor at a gun show not that far from home. He had a great time and like I said he got paid to do it.

I got my tax money back on Friday, so I took the kids to the mall to get my glasses and something I had never done before. I had my eyebrows threaded. It hurt at first but it was much better then having them waxed. – Okay, here is a little secret…it is the only girlie thing I do for myself. I don’t wear makeup, I have my hair done once every 6 months or so, but I love to have shapely eyebrows.

While we were at the mall I took the kids to Bara-cooties, this is Butter’s name for Bertucci’s so we all thought it was pretty funny. I took Peanut clothes shopping for T-shirts and sweatshirts. This was my ploy to rid the wardrobe of wholly clothes. Or as Peanut calls them his Sunday’s best. 6 t-shirts and 1 very expensive sweatshirt from American Eagle and BOOM I got to throw away about 12 t-shirts. I love when a little bit of money can cause me to rise to victory.

When we were all done we let Butter have a little fun. He got to play gerbil.


When he was all done he told me that he now understood why we needed to get away from the electronics for a while. “life is too short not to be physical so that was way more fun then sitting in front of the TV”

He has had more fun playing with legos and train sets in the past week then i have seen him have in a long, long, time.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

sshhh, i wasn't here for very long

Can you believe it has been a week? Yes it certainly has. I realized just a few moments ago that I have been so busy at work that I didn’t even realize that it was Wednesday already. Week going by fast? Why yes it is!


I thought about all the many things that I can fill you in on but then I decided that I would give you snippets as my notes for the next few days.

I got my new glasses, they still hurt my head and I have been back twice to have them adjusted. I am sure that it is because I have never worn glasses before but what do I know. They hurts me nose .

We spent the entire week last week with no electronics in the house, except for a brief interlude when I was left all by myself on Friday morning with nobody to play with. Which brings me to the every lasting question, If no one was around to see me, was I really on the computer. Since I am the only one who knows how to run the usage report to see what sites people were on, was I really on? Kinda like if a man is in the middle of the woods with no women around is he still wrong? I vote NO! On both. Unless he tells me and that aint gonna happen here!

Stella has passed and my work considers that immediately family, so I took bereavement time Thursday and Friday last week and spent the best time ever with my honey. NO kids, NO parents, NO running around necessary and in bed Thursday night by 9:45 (giggle giggle) and same on Friday. I got so much sleep and had so many wonderful conversations without one single interruption from boys.

Well, I am going to call it a night now and will be back really soon. The internet is on at home and they boys are all out swimming. Maybe, I will get caught up on my 247 unread blogs by Friday.