Wednesday, January 27, 2010

RIP Stella

Death is a funny thing. To some, death is a burden that they must carry and to some it is a blessing for the loved one that you have lost. I have experienced both.

Yesterday afternoon, my husband’s grandmother passed away. I am saddened for his family but happy for the blessing it has given her. Please don’t get me wrong. This woman was a very “odd duck”.

My FIL considered her his mother and my husband considered her his grandmother, when in actuality she was an aunt. See, years back, many years back during WWII, my FIL’s real mother disappeared for days on end, leaving four small children in the house alone while she went off drinking and whoring. Her husband was in the war and overseas at the time. There was a baby, no one knows if it were a boy or girl, just a baby, and it died of malnutrition on one of her many bouts away. My FIL was left in charge of the house and the children and at the time he was 7. Yes, 7 years old, left in charge of feeding his three younger siblings and their well being. He was left no food and no money. There was many a time he was forced to steal from the local store, 3 miles away, in order to provide for his siblings. The baby on many occasions was fed stale bread balls dipped in water to hold it through. After carrying the dead baby to the police station, not fully understanding what was wrong with it, the state stepped in and took the remaining children to orphanages. My FIL’s siblings and he were all adopted by other family members at that time, having spent a few years in the orphanage while the courts settled everything. Stella took in my FIL. She was his father’s sister. She had a child of her own at the time, age 2, FIL was then 10.

As much as you say you could love another child as your own it is not always the case as you get older and certainly not the case of the other members of the family. FIL’s “grandmother” NEVER considered him part of the family and made it very clear as he aged.

As Stella aged, she considered FIL’s brother her own, but FIL “dickie” and not son. My husband and his sister were always considered the grandchildren though, so there lays not the problem that I had with her.

She hated me. Why? Well for many reasons that don’t make sense.

1. I was catholic and she had no use for Catholics

2. I was Irish and she had no use for the Irish.

3. I was named ______ and she had no use for anyone with the name _____.

Three strikes and I was OUT!

She refused to sit with the family at our wedding stating that she would be better off in the back of the church.

She claimed that I wouldn’t let my husband visit her at Christmas because my family was more important.

She told my mother at a birthday party, for my son, one year that she “was so proud of her two boys, they both grew up and were good men who married sweet fair haired, fair skinned, Scandinavian women.” My mother giggled and she looked my mother in the face and said, “You think that is funny? My grandchildren obviously were not brought up correctly because they strayed.” My mother jokingly said that is must have killed her to have her grandchild marry an Irish catholic girl. Stella looked at my mother straight in the face and said, “Why yes it did. The nerve of that boy, I don’t think that I will ever forgive him”.

This woman was something else. She called me once when Jelly was 4 and Peanut was about 10 months old. She wanted me to come to her house and pick up a card she had for Jelly’s birthday. I load the kids in the car, drove over to her house, and unloaded the kids from the car, walked up the long pathway to her door. She met me at the door and handed me the card. Then told me to leave, she had company and she did not have time for me or my children. Closed the door right in my face. SLAMMED the door right in my face. I slowly walked back to the car put the kids in and buckled everyone up, drove back home put everyone in for naps and cried. Not just the “oh, whoa is me” cry, but out and out “how the fuck could you do something like that to someone with their kids right there?” kind of cry.

I feel horrible for my husband’s family. They have had it really rough the last few months. She had been very sick toward the end and it was very hard for them. I love my husband’s dad and his uncle, and his uncle’s family. I am sorry for their loss. I am not sad to see her go; to me this death was a blessing.

I found out recently, after 18 years of marriage, my FIL’s real mother’s name was the same name as mine. So when I married my husband I ended up with the exact same name as hers. To top it off, my FIL’s real mother, was an Irish Catholic to boot. And who says you can’t be judged by your name.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Sex, credit, basics and weight, what more can you want?

Happy Tuesday to my entire bloggy world. I cannot get over the response to the elicit affair that I am having with Mr. Clean! 19 Comments! That is a record for me. I guess it is true, put sex into the blog and get three fold the comments. Well there may or not be in today’s post, or maybe if I just say “sex!”, then it will count?

I have a few things to post today that will or will not make sense. I will wrap up my glorious fun filled weekend with a very short post.

A few weeks back, I read in one of my favorite blogs a post about getting back to the basics. This post is great. It suggested that you take away all the electronics in your home and get back to the famdamily getting together for nightly conversation, games, and blah, blah, blah. Okay, I remember what it said and I loved it when it was posted and I thought I had starred it or flagged it or what ever and now I have wasted an entire day looking for a blog I know exists and can’t find it. HELP ME! If it were you I want to give you credit, if you read it too, tell me I am not crazy.

I feel as though I might be though. On Sunday the cables came out of the backs of the TV’s, the cords were wrapped up and hidden for all the game consoles, the computer has been blocked with a password only the hubby and I know, the Game Boys, PSP’s, cell phones and iPods have been removed from the premises. Yup, we have been forced to talk. To, my kids can’t believe I am making them do this, READ! To play family games and socialize with each other.

So you won’t be seeing a lot of posting or commenting or anything from around the bubble. And if you know who posted that let me know, even still it is driving me crazy.

Last but not least, I cleaned my house from top to bottom because I am having a Tupperware Party tomorrow night. My house is spotless. I took up the area rug in the living room to wash the hard wood floors and then could not stand on my scale. So I had to take a picture in the bathroom.

The bitches are sticking it to me; this is the greatest thing ever. I am down again this week for a total of 5 lbs in two weeks. YiPPEe! I guess I should look more closely at my toering when taking a picture, like turn it around the right way. DUH.

oh yeah, i want to give you credit on your post so someone please come forward to let me know.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

I am having an affair, I think...

It has been said in this little world of ours, that a blog is a place where you can be yourself and not be judged. People’s blogs are a place outside of your real world where you can tell secrets and not worry about those who know you finding out. Well, I need to tell a secret and I need you not to judge. I need you, as my bloggie world, to NOT tell me that I have done wrong or that there is a higher being whether it is God or whatever your faith might be that will judge me in the end. Please give that some consideration when I tell you what I need to get off my chest.

Three and a half years ago, I was introduced to a man. I met him one Sunday Morning when I went for the Sunday paper. At the time, I was going through some pretty tough stuff. My dad was dying, my husband may have had testicular cancer, my middle child was going through some gastro intestinal problems and our Nonnie (hubby’s grandmother) fell and was not coming home. I had to do it all. At our first introduction, I thought nothing of it. I actually put him to the side and didn’t give him another thought.

Things got really hairy. My dad passed away, my husband needed to have his testicle removed, our Nonnie died and then in the middle of it our landlord told us that he was selling the house. I took on MORE and when I say more, I mean more. We set into place what needed to be done to buy the house. We buried my dad, buried Nonnie, honey had his surgery and could not lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk. I, yes me, needed to clean out Nonnie’s house, (long story but someday I will tell you about my in-laws health problems that year too), and get moving on fixing up the apartment my landlord moved out of.

My landlord had a dog. The dog was left in a crate most of the day. Another long story, but definitely animal abuse. They never vacuumed the rugs, they never washed the floor, and the place was literally a PIT. I was working on the kitchen floor one night and I needed to go to the store for some green scouring pads. I headed off to CVS. There, I met the man again. This time I paid a little more attention. I had met him in the past briefly, I was introduced many a times, but as I said before, I paid very little attention to him. He offered to help me with my kitchen floor. A life saver, which is the only way I can explain the help he gave. He saved me more than 6 hours worth of work with that kitchen. He started coming around more and helping with more projects. He helped with the apartment downstairs too.

Slowly, but surely, I fell in love with this man.

Here is where my confession comes in. My husband takes the kids camping one weekend a month. Regardless of the weather or the time of the year, they go. I am here with Butter sometimes, by myself other times. I started seeing this man once a month, when my husband was not around. I started seeing him at other places as well. Sometimes during a different weekend, not the camping one, but weekends when my husband was home, at places like Wally World or the French version Tar-get, sometimes Walgreens and other times a quickie at CVS. I stalked him. I really did.

I spent the day with the man again today and I can say that even though I love my husband, I cannot give this other man up.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband, he is the perfect man. Well, maybe not, this man fills the gaps that my husband leaves behind. My husband is a handsome man.  Or at least I think so, this is him, here he needs a shave.  I have never had sex with this other man but he just does something for me.

As I have thought about this for many years now, once a month, sometimes more. I think it was the fact that this man was very much like my husband. My husband as you can see is bald, this man is bald. My husband is in good shape, this man is in good shape.

I was once told that a man, who is bald, or balding, is so because the furnace is burning a heated fire down below. Maybe that is what attracted me to bald men, I cannot tell. Please be nice with the comments I just needed to get the other man in my life out there in the open. I wanted to introduce him to you without you judging him. My IRL friends would not understand, they already think I have a problem with my addictions and this one will put them over the edge.

Thank you all for your understanding…here is a quick picture of him. Don’t you think he is just a little bit sexy?

and tonight I am serving dinner off my kitchen floor!  I love this man!

Friday, January 22, 2010

2010 Handbook

I got this email.  I don't usually forward things along (unless they tell me my pubic hair will catch fire if I don't).  But this email hit home and hit home hard.  I printed it out and hung it on my cubicle wall at work.  I thought it was too nice not to share.



1. Drink plenty of water.

2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy

5. Make time to pray.

6. Play more games

7. Read more books than you did in 2009.

8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day

9. Sleep for 7 hours.

10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.


11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.

14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.

16. Dream more while you are awake

17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

23. Smile and laugh more.

24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...


25. Call your family often.

26. Each day give something good to others.

27. Forgive everyone for everything.

28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.

29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

30. What other people think of you is none of your business.

31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.


32. Do the right thing!

33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

34. GOD heals everything.

35. However good or bad a situation is it will change.

36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

37. The best is yet to come.

38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.

39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Stripping it away...

I am trying it. I am going to be brave. Seriously, I am taking it off. Little by little it is all coming off.

What, stripper? NO silly, I am following the rules, the guidelines, and the etiquette so to speak.

Back when I was green, not environmentally conscious green, but new to the whole blogging thing green, I followed many different blogs. I looked around a saw a whole bunch of ideas and I fell in love with some great bloggers.

I saw people give awards didn’t know how they quite worked and thought, WOW! Not whip it out Wednesday wow, but HOLY SHITZKI wow. No wonder these people had all those awards, look they have like 4 quadrillion followers and I want to grow up to be just like them.

Well, I put music on my blog, then was told to take it off, I put word verification on my blog, and then was told to take it off, I did what I was told like that little good doobie, catholic girl, that is overcome by guilt if she does the wrong thing.

THEN…people wanted me to see them have sex, girls wanted to have sex with me and wanted me to have sex with them, some people even mentioned that they wanted to sell my organs in another country. NO WAY on that one, in need those organs.

So I put the word verification back on and viola I have started to feel a little more comfortable in my skin. I think I am going to try and take it back off. A little at a time. I trust you, or at least I should.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Butter sums it all up!

Well it is late and I am tired but I have 50 more minutes to wait before I can get in my car and head (home) somewhere.

I thought that while I was waiting I might amuse you with a cute little story.

Tuesday nights, my older boys and my honey head off to scouts. This is the one night of the week that Butter and I have to sit and enjoy each others company. Butter is really a joy to talk to. He loves books and always has little tidbits of things to tell you about the books that he is reading. Right now he is reading a book about Wolfgang Amadeus.

This is the way that little brain works.

He just finished a book called A Mouse Called Wolf. In this story the mouse, as you can see by the picture is musical and he is named after Wolfgang Amadeus. Butter was intrigued about Wolfgang so he went to his music teacher and asked if it would be a good idea to learn about Wolfgang Amadeus since he is a musician. The music teacher OF COURSE thought this was a great idea and now they are studying his music.

Did you know the Hannah Montana is popular now but in 50 years or so people won’t know anything about her? Wolfgang Amadeus has been dead for over 200 years and people still love his music. That was just a tidbit from Butter.

He can tell you all sorts of wonderful factoids. In fact he got two books full of factoids for Christmas. It is nothing but joy and factoids around our house.

Last night, after dinner and before we ate ice cream in front of Biggest Looser to find out who won the election, Butter needed to take a shower. I set him all up and in he went. I went on (Facebook) the internet for some (to play Bejeweled) very important information and I could hear voices. We have new tenants, so maybe it was them, I thought. Coming from my bathroom area? I wondered.

Then all of a sudden, I realized that the voices were coming from the shower. Count with me now, Me, 1, Butter, 2, who the heck was in the shower with him. No one. Just Butter. Having an entire conversation about the Massachusetts Senate Race.

Should you vote for Martha Coakley?

I don’t think so.


I don’t know, I don’t think she knows what she is supposed to do, the demonticrats sent the president to do
her speeches because she needed help.

Vote for me.

Who are you?

I am Scott Brown.

And why should we vote for you?

Because I drive a truck, a big truck and it is green. See, the government people all fly in planes but I don’t like that stuff and so I like my green truck.

So you see people, there was no other reason to vote Scott Brown. And the demonticrats down in Washington thought it was for another agenda all together. Sillies!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Stick it to me Tuesday!

Once again it is Sticky Note Tuesday, brought to you by the one and only SUPAH. Who, incase you don’t follow Meeko, somehow, who knows how it happened, won the contest for directing people to Meeko’s site.

Anyway, Supah plays this little game on Tuesdays where you put on a sticky note, summing it all up nice and neat, and post it to your page. Feel free to grab her button and play along.

Yesterday, I did two posts. The first of the posts talked about Monday Mental Diarrhea. I talked a little about playing the game Mexican Train Dominoes with the family. We spend more time in tears, laughing at things that people say because we are a family of boys. The older ones say that it is my imagination that they stand around on a daily, no hourly, no bull crap, by the minute and grab a hold of and reshift their packages.

I came in one day from Golf and told my husband that the next day I was going to need to go to Dick’s. This, of course, got a little giggle. He asked why and when I told him I needed balls, all three children fell on the floor laughing. It has been a big to do ever since.

Today, I want to post some of the things said by the “boys” over the last three nights. Just remember, this game could be over in a couple of hours and we still are not done after three days.  That shows you how much silliness and laughing has been taking place.  I try real hard to keep a straight face but it is hard to do when they are having such a good time.

And the winners are...

Jelly was handing out gobstoppers during the game.

After they stopped laughing at that one, Peanut said he wiped them off first.  I pointed out that Peanut used to crawl around camp and eat moths and then this comment was made...

Jelly kept picking up Dad's train and doing something...

Jelly started hand therapy yesterday...

Decided to do some of it while playing...

Peanut was falling asleep toward the end and we discussed why he was so tired...

Needless to say, even the slightest of innocent comments said by anyone in my house can be turned, twisted, and made out to be the crudest comments ever.  They all come with a little giggle.
I want to leave on two notes for those of you who are not from Massachuesetts and don't follow the news around here...

Monday, January 18, 2010

Loose it Bitches, weigh in!

Okay BITCHES, here we go…This is killing me you know. I wanted to stand on the scale and know that I did well this week. Because I did. And I am happier than a piggy in a blanket. The scale showed my good work. It is really a good thing it did, because I really would have hated throwing yet another scale out a second story window.

This AIN’T easy. It really is not. This is the hardest I have had to work in a long time. Stress makes you gain weight. Did you know that? It is one of the things that the “girls” used to tell me. (By “girls”, I mean the Nutritionist that I worked with for three years) PMS can make you bloat but not make you gain that much weight. In other words, the patients that used to come in and say “That 5 pound weight gain is because I got my period today”. No one gains 5 pounds of water unless you don’t pee, at all, for a day. But let me tell you something else. If you are trying to quit smoking or something else like that, that you are doing with your hands, you can not substitute that with food or snacking. And yet another thing, poor people have the hardest time loosing weight. Healthy fresh fruits and vegetables are expensive, but you can make it work.

I did all those things I was not supposed to do during the last 5 months and it is my turn to admit I DID WRONG! Notice that I said “did”. I had a crap load of stress, I had no tenant, I had no extra money, I was smoking pot (he he he), I had a sick husband, I had three boys that were trying their hardest to push the buttons, I had a kid break his hand due to pot, man, let me tell you, I had stress. I also tried quitting smoking in December. I replaced my habit on the way home with lollipops and gum. Not good, by the time I got home I was STARVING and ate enough for two. I also could not afford all the things that I insist are in my house. Like fresh fruit and yogurt, salad for dinner, and stuff like that was replaced by quick cheap side dishes and a lot of pasta. I laugh when I see the add on television saying that the average family of 4 spends about $40 when going out to eat. I spend an average of $40 on my family dinners at home when we eat well. I have three boys. Cheap pasta fills them up so much faster. The other thing that I have a tendency to do that is not good when the money is tight, I bake. Cookies, brownies, apple crisp, you name it. It is cheaper for me to buy flour and eggs and make a crap load of cookies that will last us about 3 days for snacks then it is to buy a $3 bag/box of cookies. Unfortunately, I can bypass the store bought stuff, but always need to check the things I bake. Yummy! Oops, got off the track there for a moment. Yeah, I have not been good for many months, so when I got on the scale last week I almost had a heart attack. ONE HUNDRED and FREAKING WHAT! I haven’t been that heavy in YEARS-What the hell did I do to myself? Well this week I worked.

I started weight class on Mondays. OW! Working really good because on Tuesday, I can not lift my arms to eat. Tuesdays, I watch the Biggest Looser. It has been a tradition in my house on Tuesdays since it started a few years back. The older boys and my husband go off to Scouts and Butter and I sit for two hours watching Biggest Looser. On the ads we do exercises that the show has shown us or maybe we just use the core ball. If you have never watched the show, you wouldn’t know that most of the show is ads. Wednesday, I did CORE class. Couldn’t put my ass in the chair for hours on end Thursday, which is good because that is my worse day. Friday I did CORE again. Saturday is running around doing errand day. This really is weights and walking. Recycling center, car wash, bank, grocery store, I have always parked the farthest from the door because the honey swears people who park the closest are either needing to (elderly or handicapped) or just don’t give a shit so they won’t care if they ding your car.

Well without any further ado…I give you the scale…See I did good Down 2.8 pounds.

Monday's Mental Diarrhea

This blog may contain some serious CHICKENS. I have had one wild and crazy case of weekend mental diarrhea. Now that it is Monday, and once again, I sit here at work home with my feet up, I have the chance to put most of it down on (well, the line is paper but we are on the computer so do you call it screen?) whatever.

1. My honey picked up my new car on Friday afternoon. It was all shiny and clean. He drove it all weekend. You have to understand that for the last few weeks he has been saying he can’t wait to get back in his car and the first chance he gets, he uses mine…all weekend long. I find it very funny. My honey is weird like that. But today was the day I got to drive my car. I was looking forward to it so much (NOT). We had an overnight snow storm that left about 6-8 inches of snow on the roads in central Massachusetts. The PIKE was down to 40 miles an hour, the car is a standard, the roads were freaking icy and slushy. My car is a car and I haven’t owned a car in for-evah, it is so low to the ground. You know it was just not a great morning. First day in though went off without a hitch. I have discovered that the one thing I need for my car is those little guards that protect you from the rain. I opened my window to grab my PIKE ticket and got DRENCHED. I looked like I had peed one side of my pants by the time I got into work.

2. I am the most popular person in the state of Massachusetts right now. You think I am joking but let me tell you who called me this weekend. Curt Shilling, the RED SOX pitcher, the bloody sock man, yup him, Pat Boone, the crony, and Barack Obama, oh yeah, the president of the United States of America, himself. My phone does not usually ring unless my mother or in-laws need something. Maybe, on a rare occasion, someone wants to talk to one of the kids, but most of the time the phone does not ring. My phone rang all weekend. My favorite part of the whole weekend was telling the President that he can kiss my YOUKNOWWHATSY!

Okay, if you don’t follow the news, let me fill you in. Massachusetts is in the middle of one of the most famous senatorial races known to the country. Ted Kennedy passes away this summer leaving the seat vacant. Martha Coakley, our current Attorney General, has decided to run for this seat. Scott Brown is also running. Back, just before Ted Kennedy passed away, President Obama got involved in something else here in Massachusetts that he NEVER should have been involved with. Get this man to mind the freaking country and get the “F” out of things he should not be involved with. He had the “BEER SUMMIT” this summer with “a close” friend and a Boston Police officer that was just doing his job. If this man were not involved in this I may have a different view on the whole senate race (or maybe not) but if I had been able to speak to him when he called I definitely would have said that he should step back. “You are doing more harm than good, DUMASS!” (See below, I did not spell this wrong) And then to top it off, Martha Coakley opened her big fat mouth and said the Curt was a YANKEES FAN. What are you on Martha? What kind of crack pipe is allowed to be smoked in your current office? Curt? Of all people? You just won my vote “NOT”. My favorite line in this whole race has been “Ted Kennedy’s seat”. Has the rules of the senate changed? Is in not the “People’s Seat”? Did we all of a sudden loose the ability to determine who gets to run our country? Okay, so maybe the votes weren’t too right during the presidential election, and maybe the choices weren’t that great. But SERIOUSLY PEOPLE! The President of the United States should not be coming into the STATE of Massachusetts and telling you HOW TO VOTE! Stand up and take your voice back!

Okay, that was a major rant. Sorry! Well, not really, sorry.

3. Jelly got a great new game (to us) from my mom this Christmas. It was called Mexican Train Dominoes. For those of you who have not played this, it is a TON OF FUN! Even more fun when you play with three boys and a man. The greatest part of this game is that you don’t have to read you only have to match dots and colors. It does take a little strategy and skill but it is really quick to learn. We started the game on Saturday and continued it on Sunday we still have about 5 rounds left to play and it is getting good.

Butter is 8, and I am sorry, I feel the need to assist him in teaching the game so that he understands the WHOLE game. Honey got pissed at one point of the game and told me to stop helping him because it is not fair that he has the advantage of my help. Seriously? You are 43 years old and you are upset that an 8 year old is beating you. BWAA HA HA. I helped for the first 4 rounds and then he picked it up on his own. The one the hand he played by himself, with NO help from me and set his dad for OVER 100 points. That felt good.

Jelly brought out the Gobstoppers half way through the game last night. Oh, imagine the fun we had with “four little boys” sucking on balls. That was about the time when I felt like my mother had been secretly put into my body because I heard her voice. “That is so not appropriate conversation and you are not helping out the situation”. Oh yeah, I said it.

I am sure I will post more about the game at another time. But I need to tell you about DUMASS. One night Jelly was being a little smart ass and my husband asked him if he has a sign stuck to his back that said Dumb Ass. Jelly took this to heart and made one. Only he wrote DUMASS. Now that is what you are around our house. And believe you me; we use the phrase a lot.

Hope I didn’t bore you all today. I have a few people that I need to get in contact with, but if you have a chance to wish an old lady a happy birthday, and then go over to the Countess Laurie’s blog, she lives by herself in Laurieville. Tell her that the denture cream and arthritis medication is only around the corner. She will love you for it! I promise!

Saturday, January 16, 2010


I have mentioned a million and one times in my life that the chickens are all over the place. One minute I am at work home with my feet up reading my blog reader, and the next someone asks me to do something and I am involved in a project for the next two days. Well today Dual Mom over at We’re At Dad’s That Week gave me this award. And wouldn’t you know it all of a sudden I remembered that someone else did too.

My immediate thought was “oh shit”, Courtney at One Loopy Life gave me this on January 9th, a freaking week ago. So, if I can apologize immensely that I am dirt and should have done this a week ago, “I am sorry Courtney”. And then say “THANK YOU TO BOTH DUAL MOM AND COURTNEY” with huge capital letters..ha, see that there are huge capital letters, I would appreciate the opportunity.

The rules state that I must list 10 things that make me happy and then pass the award on to 10 bloggers. So here I go…

1. A clean kitchen floor I know that this sounds like a freaky thing to have as number one on my list but it really is my number one joy. I spend one weekend a month home with Butter while the older boys and the hubby go camping with the scouts. This is MY time to clean my kitchen floor. I don’t know why it gives me such pleasure. It is really hard work. I get down on my hands and knees and spend about 3 hours scrubbing. I mean it, scrubbing, so it shines. When I have a clean kitchen floor it gives me a sense of security. And you can eat off it. NO LIE!

2. Family Game Night We don’t do this often enough. There are many times where one of the family has somewhere to go or something to do, but when we all sit and play at the kitchen table it gives me great joy.

3. Lunch with the Nutrition Girls I spent a three year period of my life going through some really rough patches and these girls got me through so much. I had the biggest BITCH of a boss and if it were not for them I think that I would have been sucked into a deeper depression than what I was in and may not have been able to pull through.

4. Cards with the Boys This is a special time for me to sit back, relax, become utterly stupid, not have to worry about what I say, and make or lose a little money. I have been doing this for more years than I have been married. My husband doesn’t play, my kids are no where around, I am ME and no one judges me.

5. Hustling the Elderly I really should not have to explain this to anyone but someone once took this the wrong way and I since feel a little bit of guilt about calling it that. Thursday nights I play Pitch with a group of ladies and gentlemen whose average age is 74. It cost me $10 (used to be $5) and we play 10 games. 3 out of 4 weeks I come home with some sort of winnings and hence one of the NGirls called it hustling the elderly and it has stuck.

6. Crafting with the Countess I don’t do this nearly as often as I should. I love doing things with my hands. I once spent every spare moment with her at her kitchen table making a scrap book for my in-laws for Christmas. It took us 3 months and shitloads of money but looking back it was a time I spent doing something I enjoyed with someone I loved.

7. Reading I love to read. I only have one problem with it. I will get so involved with a book that I won’t do anything else. I am not kidding. I won’t even shower or get out of bed if I am in a good book. I once spent a week in my bed reading, I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep, I didn’t cook, I just read.

8. My New Job I was given the opportunity to change jobs and I grabbed it. It was more money and it was 40 minutes more of a commute. But I really do like what I do and I am genuinely happy there. Most people would say that I was crazy but, hey, that’s me.

9. My Children This is not #9 on the list for any particular reason but they do make me happy. I am not defined by motherhood or by marriage, I am who I am. However, my children do make me happy. The three boys are 16, 13, and 8. They drive me absolutely crazy most days. I spend an hour in the car on the way home from work each night. I spend the first 10 minutes of my drive wrapping up work in my head. I spend the next 20 talking to myself. I joke you not I talk to myself. One day, I will tell you all about it. Then the next half hour, I think about my children. What they did today that I need to know about, what little tidbits of my day I can share with them, and what we will do together that night. My favorite thing in the world is that five minutes before I go to bed at night. I visit each one of them in their sleep, I tell them I love them, I kiss them on the cheek or forehead and I stare at them and remember them as babies and it just gives me such a warm feeling.

10. My HONEY Well, almost everyone else who has a honey has put them in the forefront. Not me, I saved the best for last. We were friends WAY before we were a couple. We still are the best of friends. We are just friends who have sex. I love him and cannot imagine life without him. He makes me smile, he lights my fire, and to this day he makes me happy.

I am glad I took the time to do this tonight. And the greatest thing about being a blogger is that you get to enjoy blogs on a daily basis that make you happy.

So, these 10 bloggers are only a few of the MULTITUDE that make me happy.

• M-Cat over at that’s what she said – she is my muse! I cannot even begin to tell you.

• Bernie over at I can’t find my other sock -She is awesome. I wonderful woman with a wonderful faith. She has recently had some serious surgery and is home on the bed for the next few weeks. Maybe if we all give her some loving she will start blogging again.

MassHole Mommy- I know she has had this before and we can’t expect her to do it again but she makes me happy.

• Tamara over at Over the Homespun Hedge – She has some great stories. I even considered driving to her house to buy a puppy. Even if it were half a country away.

• Shell over at Things I Can’t Say – I think she is living my life but a few years back…but she has a nicer view.

• The Countess over at Welcome to Laurieville! Population 1 – well she is my IRL other half, we can go for weeks not talking and then like it was yesterday we are right where we left off. She has a love of all things space and supernatural, I am grounded and go for the warm.

Together We Save – seriously, I have not been able to get myself ink for my printer fast enough. This woman has saved me SO MUCH MONEY!

• Jenni over at Sincerely, Jenni – I cannot even explain how great she is.

• Lori over at The Peterson Family – She has made me want to visit her hometown more than once…my honey will not take the road trip. One day, I WILL!

• Trac~ over at Welcome to Our World – I have to say she is one that makes me so happy every time I read her blog.

Holy moly, do you know how hard it is to pick 10 out of all the blogs that I read all the time? Unreal! Please know that I love all the blogs I read and some of you have recently posted that you have got this from someone else. I just Love you ALL!

Friday, January 15, 2010

The new addition

The last month or so I have been a little bit out of sorts. I cracked up my car. Okay, truth be told, I hit a bit and totaled my car, but she totally deserved it. All right maybe that is not the whole truth, but it is my story and I am sticking to it.

For the past month, I have been totally reliant on the sweet, kind, generosity of others. My FIL let us use his car on the days that he wasn’t working, my mom let us use her car on the other days and got a ride to work from a neighboring coworker, and the scout leader let us use the scout truck when all else failed. Really and truly I have been very grateful for the help.

But, you knew that was coming, I got a little tired of it. Okay, maybe a little more than a little, tired. Mondays I would drive to work and then meet my husband at my mothers to drop off the car and then drive to my FIL’s to pick up his. On Tuesdays, I would meet my husband at my FIL’s house to drop off his car and drive to my mom’s to pick up her car. On Thursdays we would both drive over and pick up the scout truck and then drop it back off on Fridays. Ugh, too much.

Well it is over, but not without incident. I need to make sure you are aware of the fact that I am a pretty strong minded, very vocal, not afraid to speak my mind, kind of a girl. I grew up in a large family and well that was needed. Anyway, where was I, oh yeah, my husband found a car, oh crap back up, WE HAVE NO CREDIT. We just bought a car in July and 6 weeks later needed to replace the roof on our house. I have been without a tenant for over 5 months and that income is necessary for the daily grind. We were given $3000 from the insurance company after they totaled my baby. Yes, this was my baby.

That is not a lot of money to find a car. Well, my husband found a car, see we are back there already only 5 sentences later, and test drove it yesterday. He decided that this was it. The car I would buy with my money and take home and be my friend till death do us part, or I hit someone else, what is the difference anyway.

Okay picture this, gruffy old hubby with camo pants and great big neck walks into car dealership and says I am interested in said car. Dealership man says the sticker price is $6995. Gruffy old hubby with very deep voice says “no, I have $3,000”. Dealership man says, “You want me to take $4000 off the sticker price?” Hubby says, “Cash”. Dealership man says I will see and comes back with a shocked but humble “yes, we can do it”. Hubby says “let me drive” and when he came back he said “I’ll take it”. Dealership man says, under breath “Yippee’, “lets do the paperwork” Hubby is ready, dealership man then comes back and says total would be “3,715.50”. Hubby freaks.

Alright, I just painted a picture of my hubby, seriously this is him.

When I say freaks, this is what happened. His voice went up three octaves, “3,715.50. Holy shit my wife is going to have a conniption, I have to call her right now so that she can approve it” He calls me; my response is “WTF! There is no way in FREAKING HADES that you can tell me that a $3,000 car is going to cost us $3,715.50. Walk, I mean it, walk. Leave there, right now and tell him that there is no way you are paying another $715.50 for the car. Massachusetts has a 6.25% sales tax and $100 reg and title fee; there is no way you are paying over $400 more than that. LEAVE.”

Hubby shrugs his shoulders and says, “See ya”. They chased him out the door, okay not really. Hubby called me a few minutes later practically crying. “This is it; I have spent the last three weeks looking for something that I will feel safe having you drive an hour to work and back. There is no other car out there that we can get for this money. What the hell am I supposed to do?”

I told him to go back and ask them to justify the amount difference they call a “doc fee”. He did, they couldn’t, and he gave them my number and warned them, “my wife is pretty brutal you may want to gather up your body armor”. Well, I ripped someone a new buttcrack and went up one side and then another. Told them that I was not starving my kids for the next week and a half because they were charging me $428 for something I just had done last July that I was charged $245. End of story.

Or so you would think, I couldn’t let it lie. I called the sales manager of the other showroom right next door, explained my situation and told him that if he could justify the difference and explain to my how they could let someone walk out the door with a pocket full of cash, I would be back to pick up the car later that evening.

Well he did alright, he was nice, explained what he knew to be the other doc fee’s explained what they owed on the car and why the price was what it was and was decent to me. So we went back last night and bought the car.

Don’t tell him, but I hate to see my hubby tear up and get upset and would dance outside naked if it would make him feel better. That is the only reason I gave in to the $428 doc fee, all car salesmen are crooked.

And this is it…really; these are the pics from the website.

and BTW it has a kick ass stereo system...I am so from the 80's!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

I may have said dinkydo...more than once

This blog took me a long time to figure out in my head and then at the last minute I figured “what the heck, the Countess is right, this is too good not to post”.

Let me back track by telling you, raising three boys is not easy. I, seriously, don’t know how my mother did it and didn’t kill one of us in the meantime. All right, I am not a boy but acted just like on of them.

I have a hard time knowing that as much as a GREAT husband and father my honey is, he never had the TALKS when he was younger and is finding it very difficult to have them with my boys.

Sex is EVERYWHERE! It is on TV, it is on the internet, I get calls twice a week from the middle school principal here in our town about sexting and tweeting and blah, blah, blah. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is very important for the kids to know that this is so NOT appropriate. Well, things happen and then you ask yourself where did I go wrong?

I didn’t go wrong. I did this shit when I was their age, just not like this. I had a boyfriend in 7th grade by the name of “Danny”. He was the sweetest boy. My son Jelly reminds me a lot of Danny when we were that age. When I was a freshman in high school, Danny asked me to the Homecoming Dance. I feigned being sick at the end of the night and asked to go home early because I was afraid I would have to kiss him. Not that I hadn’t kissed other boys before, just not any that I really liked. Okay, I was a kissing HO when I was younger. I lived in a neighborhood where I was the only girl with 9 boys from my class, all within a mile radius. The closest girl lived three miles away and she picked her nose. YUCK. The guys considered me one of them. We played tackle football and hunted the swamps for frogs and other boys stuff like that. Every once and a while we played Truth of Dare, and I may have let the boys touch my boobies and we may have kissed a few times.

Anyway, I have totally chickened on that one! CLUCK CLUCK!

I am cruelly honest sometimes, okay most times, okay more often then not. If you have a boogie hanging from your nose I am going to tell you, after I gag a little, but I will tell you. I told my boyfriend once that I walked in to wake up one of my brothers once and he was having a great dream and even though he was more then 10 years younger than this guy he had a bigger dinkydo.

Alright, I suppose today the chickens are free range because I can not seem to stay on tract. Oh yeah, hubby not talking, leaving it up to me, not knowing how my mom did it, okay, I am back.

Three or so years ago, my Jelly asked a girl to be his girlfriend. It lasted a day, maybe two before her big sister called and broke it off. He was devastated. He didn’t understand what he had done wrong. I found out afterwards that the mother was refusing the girl to have a boyfriend until she was much older. Okay, that was fine with me. Then Jelly had another girlfriend. She was a 13 year old HO! You heard me, she was a HO! I did not like this girl, she was very crass (did I spell that right), she was rough and she had a tendency to cause my little boy to have cases of blue balls and well he had NO clue what that was and why it hurt so much.

I had a talk with him at that time, well mainly because Dad would not, and I told him that arousing causes things to build up and if not released they will back up and cause swelling and pain. I told him the truth, right? Then I told him that if he were to have sex prior to the age of 18 his dinkydo would fall off. It was a known fact that premature penetration would cause untimely friction, wear that it was not ready for and then it would fall off, or worse, he would have to go to the doctor and have it checked and that would be so much more embarrassing. SUE ME! It made him think.

Well, last night at dinner, I sit to the right of Jelly at the dinner table, I noticed a spot. Yup, a hickey, a freaking hickey, on the right hand side of the neck. I keep these things kind of quiet in my house. My other two have a tendency to make a big deal out of it and tell others that really don’t need to know. He starts a whole discussion about missing the school bus and having to stay later and getting the later school bus, so I need to ask “who’s the girl?” He looked at me a little perplexed. “Girl?” I raise my eyebrows, he pulls up his collar and we finish dinner.

After dinner I sit with him and tell him flat out. I don’t believe in bullshit, if he has something going on to tell me so that I know. He told me about this girl. This blood sucking girl is someone that he has been friendly with for quite some time. They both got stuck at school by missing the bus and they had nothing else to kill time. Okay, here is where I kind of lost it a little as a parent, so forgive me when I say, I shoveled it out pretty hard, I grabbed my waders and tried not to cry. Why am I having this conversation with my son and not his dad?

“Honey, I am not sure if you think that as I age I need glasses. I don’t know if you think that I am just stupid and don’t know what that thing is on your neck. I just really don’t know, but I will tell you this, if I see one of those on your neck again I will give you an eye to match. I don’t give a shit who this girl is and if you had nothing else to do to pass the time but she is going to keep her blood sucking lips and teeth off you neck. Are you aware of what a hickey can do to you? Well are you?”-silence-“Well, let me tell you, if she sucks on your neck it causes all the blood to rush to the surface of your skin, it causes a blood clot right there under your skin, what if that blood clot broke free and traveled up your neck, you know you have some pretty strong arteries and veins that travel right there right? Well, what? Huh, do you know? Yeah, you could DIE! You could have that clot travel up into your brain and you could die! Do you want that to happen? I didn’t think so! It won’t happen again, will it? Do you want to even think about what could happen to you if you don’t’ die? Huh, well you could be paralyzed like a stroke victim. I am fully aware that the sucking on your neck increased a blood flow to another part of your body that then took over your brain capacity, BUT IT WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN, NOWWILL IT?"

i didn’t think so…

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

What I Meant to Say...#2

There have been a few different times in which I have said something and then in my head thought, I could have been a little clearer. Well, Chief has given us all the opportunity to do just that.

Recently, Jelly spoke to me the way a 16 year old speaks to his friends.

I said, “Excuse me? What was that you said?”

What I meant to say was a little more like…

“Excuse me, is that the way you are supposed to talk to your mother. You may think that you will get away with it, but the only thing you will get away with is a trip to the proctologist to have my size 8 ½ short boot removed from your rectum surgically. If you ever speak to me that way again, I will slap you so hard that your teeth will be sticking out the back of your head.”

But then again, I didn’t want to sound like my mother, so I just gave him the “LOOK”, oh you know the one.

Peanut spent some unexpected time with my mom last Monday evening. When I went to pick him up from her house, he told me that “Grandma said if I get highest honors on my report card, I can come with you guys on your trip to Martha’s Vineyard.”

My response was, “That is great, of course you can”.

What I meant to say is…”Fat freaking chance in Hades mister. But then again, I don’t have to worry about it. In order to get highest honors in school you actually have to turn in your homework. Since I have yet to get a weekly progress report stating that you have done just that then it stands to reason, I won’t ever have to have that even be an issue.”

But then again, I wouldn’t want to squash a dream.

Butter is the type of kid who will start a story and 20 minutes later get to the point and stand behind you with his hands on his hips asking “Well?”

My response is usually, “What? I am sorry honey, I missed what you said when the water was running”

What I meant to say is…”Sorry buddy, your mother suffers from the worse case of adult onset attention deficit and I lost you about 2 minutes into your story. If you made your freaking point a little quicker I might have been able to follow.”

But then again, who would be writing stories about their AWESOME MOM in school.

My husband and I have been without a car for the past three weeks and I really don’t see a quick end to my current situation. He asked me the other day if I was looking for anything in particular or if I minded driving a standard.

My response was, “oh no, I would be happy with anything as long as it gets me back and forth to work.”

What I meant to say…well, that is really not appropriate for my PG rated blog, but you can imagine something like…WTbleep buddy, get off you bleeping arse and get me a bleeping car soon before I scream at you and call you all sorts of bleeping names that I will not be able to take back. If this was your car and you were without you would be moving so bleeping fast that my bleeping head would spin.

But then again, who wants to create marital rifts? Not me

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Stick it!

Well it is Tuesday again, and all are up and running with the Post IT's.  The Supah de Dupah over at Adventures of a Wanna be Supah Mommy has linked us up.  Check out everyone!  There are some great post-its over there.  With out any further ado...

And so it goes...

Three weeks without a car and having to juggle the ones that we are borrowing really is not fun.

Feel Great! but man, I think my muscles are falling off.

Do you know how many CALORIES are in a Snickers!  Got to find another way to get my chocolate fix.

Spent WAY too much on sneakers for my boys this weekend and I only bought sneakers for two of them.

Dream the impossible dream!  And they are still all lovey dovey!

I hope all have a great Tuesday!

Monday, January 11, 2010

$26.99 the price for depression

I have to tell you about my week. I know I have a tendency to complain and moan about what is going on on the outside of my bubble so that I can bitch about it inside my bubble. Well today, I have a few serious bitches! Oh yeah, this goes right along with the Loose it Bitches that I joined a few weeks back.

Hooray, I bought myself a scale. Did you know that you can put a price tag on depression? I did this weekend $26.99. For What? For a piece of glass, that laughed at me and then spit out this ridiculous number. And then on top of it after I called it a few names, Butter proudly stood upon it to have it tell him he was still under 65 lbs. Oh, I wish that were the case here. But it wasn’t. My scale said this.

Why is that so bothersome you might ask? Because I worked my arse off last week and put on a pair of pants that seems looser then the week before. I went to the gym twice, because Butter got really sick this week and that was all I could make, I know I have set a goal for three. But there goes that chicken. WTF would it have said the week before? I don’t know but I am not willing to find out.

I have a great week coming up this week and hope to be down two pounds by next weeks post.

I was once told by the girls I worked with before, don’t drown your sorrows in food, don’t reward yourself with food, and don’t use food as an antidepressant. So ladies and gents, I didn’t, I went shoe shopping instead.

Love the new shoes, hate the new scale! Oh, and my new goal is 36 pound to loose.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

The Fam Wants New Pets

We had cats.  Four as a matter of fact over a period of 18 years.  Our first one became road pizza after I threw it out one snowy night.

Then we got two together and mine died of some sort of rare disease that ate its kidneys.

Then Jelly got a very cute yellow tiger that was petrified of people.  It ran away when we had our open house in the summer of '06. 

Sarah was the last remaining kitty cat.   She was 16 years old when she finally kicked the bucket.

Now the hubby and kids want to get another pet.  I say "NO".  I am tired of loosing them after I get attached.  Maybe, we can consider something that I will never get attached to.

Maybe Freaking NOT!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Feel lucky will YA!

Once again it is Friday. I guess it just keeps coming whether we want it to or not…seriously though the only people I know that don’t want Friday to come are those who work weekends. Ha! Not me, I love Fridays. Actually, I like them because they are what they are, the end of a work week.

I sit at my desk today, which is really Thursday, and for the first time in a really long time I am torn as to what to write in my little bubble of a blog.

I take a long trip home and a long trip into work in the morning and the majority of the time I have a million and one things going on in my head. Last night, I thought about writing about how I hate women. Then I thought about telling you my birth order theories, then I went back again to why I hate women and how I cannot tell you about my birth order theories because I don’t know which woman you are. Well, it put me in kind of a quandary. So what do I write about today? Then it came to me. Well, it didn’t really come to me; it was all about a discussion that I had with my boss 2 hours ago. People, I don’t care if you are male or female, you don’t realize how lucky you are.

Uh oh, this is going to the one place where it is uncharted grounds. The one place that my brothers have always told me that I go and get into trouble. I am telling you, my readers, before I even know who you are, to grow up and realize that you are lucky. How lucky, well lets think about it. Where are you right now? Are you sitting at work? Be happy you have a job. Are you at home? Why are you there? Be happy you have a computer, and electricity to run that computer. Are you there because you have children that you are caring for? Be happy, some spend years wanting and never being able to have them. Oh shitzki, I could go on forever. Just FREAKING be happy you are lucky.

I am tired of listening to people whine, bitch, and moan. Kay? Kay!

That being said, I have done it again. I have bashed my husband when I tried to defend him. It just doesn’t stop. Let’s back up here a little while and talk about my honey.

I have known my husband for 28 years. That is more than half my life. He was a friend of my brothers’ before we ever started dating. I thought he was an asswipe. Okay, truth be told back then he was an asswipe. Now, he is just a wipe. HA! (Know full well that I am sitting here trying not to laugh out loud and give away that I am not really working)

My husband is a FREAK of NATURE. He has so many positive attributes and so many funny things that I can tell you about that if and when you were ever to meet him you would be AMAZED! My husband is one of the sweetest men I have ever met. He is the type of person that you would want as a friend. If you are down, there is never a moment’s hesitation before he hands you an arm for support to get up. He would do anything for anyone.

My husband LOVES to be outside. He is a nature boy. He loves to camp, hunt, fish, hike, blah, blah, and the boystuff blah. He is 100% for his boys and for me. He doesn’t hesitate to come to our aid when we need him. He will bitch about it for three days afterward, but in the moment, he is RIGHT THERE!

My husband does the laundry, my husband does the cooking, my husband does the majority of the shopping, my husband carts the kids around to all of their extra curricular activities and he gets involved with them. I wish I could make more money than I do to make him be the SAHD. He would love that. One day!

But I made a serious typo on the last blog about my husband and hopefully this will clear it up. My husband is a freak of nature. I tell people these stories and immediately they picture so much more, but here we go.

My husband lost all of his baby teeth when he was just 5 years old, yes all of them. He had another set grow in and turn black by the time he was 6. All of the teeth fell out before he was 8 and a whole new set grew in. Beautiful, straight, amazingly white, teeth fill his mouth. He has the greatest smile.

My husband has three nipples, yes three, two regular ones and one on the left hand side about 4 inches lower then and a little smaller then the other one. Yup, I told you but I am not done.

My husband has three kidneys. OMW, I am serious! Three kidneys, two on his left side and one on his right. Hence the reason that he has so many kidney stones. And they all function!

But the best was when he was experiencing all of the infections in his scrotum a few years back, they found a growth. Yes, a growth in his scrotum. It was attached to one of his testicles. They told us it was testicular cancer. This is very rare for a male to contract in his 30’s so we were flabbergasted. Remove it they said, when we said, now they said, okay we said. They biopsied the growth to find out it was a group of testosterone producing cells producing more testosterone producing cells. YOU GUESSED IT! He was growing another one!

Well now that you know, I love my freak of nature and care about him very much, don’t mind when I bitch about him. He is a great guy, he is a great dad, his is sick all the time, but that doesn’t change the way he is or how much I love him.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

a little bit of me...

Ya know , there are times that I think to myself..Self, I think I am the only one of my kind out there in the world. And then sometimes I think to myself…Self, that may not be such a bad thing. Recently, one of my commenters (ya, I am talkn bout you!), told me she wondered what my family thought about me. Well, that made me think.

I am the kind of person who holds a thing inside for too long until my stomach is so upset that it hurts. I am the kind of person who cries at the beginning of every Biggest Looser season. (Okay, if you are a watcher, explain to me why I bawled like a baby when the yellow team was sent home) Seriously though, it really made me think.

How would my brothers describe me? I was honest when I replied that my brothers would tell you straight out that I was spoiled. Every one of my brothers believes that. Except maybe #8 and then again he thinks that I walk on water at times. I can spit coffee all over him in the middle of a conversation and have him just laugh and say “I love you”. We are the evens. I have theories that I have told you before, I will eventually post about but there are other things that I must straighten out first.

The Tuesday before Christmas, I went out with some of my brothers and some other of my sister in laws. It was a night that I will soon not forget. I wasn’t supposed to be there. I had just been in a car accident the night before and my head had been splitting. My niece was visiting from Maine and #3 was up from Florida, so we all decided to get together and go see #1 at open mic night.

I was in my car by 10, I was home by 12. What the F did I do in my car for two hours? Well, I had a really great heart to heart with #6’s wife. See, #6SIL is a QUEEN, no shit, so much NOT me or anything like me. She spends hours on her face in the morning and plenty of time picking out her clothes. She is a girly girl. We had a great conversation. She is going through some shit with her daughter. I personally, think is hilarious, that she is not dealing well with. Oh that is another GREAT post. It really makes me think that being an AWESOME mom isn’t really all that bad.

Wow, freaking chickens! We started talking about things that are bothering her, in the family. You see, she lost her mom just before she and #6 got married. She lost her step mom just a year and a half ago. She has seen her family fall apart and grow together and she is concerned about ours. Love this girl (didn’t for a while). She admitted that for the first few years being married to one of the youngest made her feel as though she should be one of the youngest. She kept forgetting that she was 12 years older than all the others. Now she realizes it. She apologized for my brother calling me and requesting that they change Christmas. She told me that #2SIL had started the whole fiasco and if anyone could get me on board it would be #6. When I told #6 my opinion, he politely got off the phone and cried, yes cried to his wife that if she ever made him do that again there would be repercussions. She told me then, that my brothers, ALL OF THEM, considered me the root to the family tree. The younger brothers all considered me their moral compass. (Okay, right now, you have to know that I am still dying inside thinking, ME? Their moral compass? Shit, I cannot stop laughing!)

My younger brothers are all afraid of me. She doesn’t know why, but they are. (Maybe, it was the broom that I used to chase them around the house with.) She does know that there is none of my brothers that want to upset me in any way. They all judge their kids against my kids. They all consider me someone to look up to.

She also told me that my older brothers are all scared that if they piss me off or whatever, I will curse them with some sort of inability to form an erection or whatever they just continuously say, “Well, let’s check with MaeRae, before we make any decisions.” “Call her, she will organize everything and tell you what you need to do.” Again, I can’t figure that one out.

But she did tell me this. My brothers all love me to death, don’t want to upset me, are somewhat scared of me, know that I will choose the right thing to do, and have instilled this FEAR into their wives that they will not add up. Sure! Nothing like applying pressure.

I had the best heart to heart with my #6SIL that Tuesday night in a dive bar parking lot for two hours. I found out that my #6SIL sees me much different than she used to. I found out that #6SIL has grown up a lot the last few years. She understands my pain; she sees the hurt I suffer after my daddy died. She admires my strength in raising my children and values my opinion. And she knows that “shit doesn’t stick to a shovel”, so I must not be throwing it.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

What I Meant to Say...

Okay, here it goes…Chief has decided that we all need to give her validation for the greatness that she is. Okay, what I am really saying is, if Chief called me tomorrow and said, “MaeRae, build me a ball field” I, not only, would build the ball field, but I would build a hot dog shack to go with it. Why?, you may ask, well because I have always done what I have said I would do and I told her I would do this…okay, so again I tell you here it goes.

Chief has started a new GAME! It is called What I Meant to Say… on Wednesdays…

At first my thought was Yippee, I can do this, and then when it came to doing it I guess I realized, I have never been one to mix my words. But then again, I thought really hard and came up with something I may have said under the influence of alcohol. That is pretty much the only time I am hesitant to say bad things out loud because that is people’s excuse…well she was drunk and didn’t mean it.

Wow, a little verbal diarrhea today, MaeRae, get to the freaking point and move on…

Last Thursday, a person that I have known for quite some time paid me a compliment.

My response was…”Thank you, that means a lot coming from you, thank you for noticing”

What I really meant to say was…”Thanks a whole bunch you piss-ant, the only reason I am looking at you and paying even the slightest bit of attention to the fact that you are here in my personal space is that tonight I refuse to let anyone destroy the fact that I am here to have a good time and enjoy myself.”

Yup, it pretty much looks like that was it.

I don’t know if we are supposed to explain the situation or not, but for now, I choose not.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The honey's illnesses...yes plural.

Have I told you lately how growing up an only girl of 8 children and being Irish catholic has caused me to have the most unfreakenbelievable case of the guilties EVAH? Okay then let me tell you, I FEEL SO BAD! I BITCH AND I BITCH about my husband but he really is a GREAT guy! I also mentioned before once, okay, maybe twice, about how I am spoiled. YUP, it is his fault.

My honey gets up every morning at 3:30 a.m. Before he goes to work in the morning he has a routine. Are you ready? Every time I tell this story, it makes me tired. So grab a cup of coffee and WAKE UP! Honey gets up and goes to the bathroom, he then goes into the kitchen and starts the pot of coffee, he then swaps the laundry in the machines and starts another load. He makes his breakfast, has a cup of coffee, cleans up after himself, writes the boys their list of chores to do that day, finds something for dinner, and goes back to the bathroom. He finishes up what he needs to do in there, goes back to the kitchen, takes his medicine, and writes me a little note of what I need to do that day and then back to the bathroom to brush his teeth. After teeth brushing he gets dressed, swaps the laundry, puts my coffee into the carafe so it is hot when I get up 3 HOURS LATER and off to work he goes. He is out of the house by 4:20 every day. Yup, I am not one who can bitch. I love my husband. I do however have a few complaints that I need to get off my chest before I go to far.

My husband is ALWAYS sick. I know, I wrote about this on New Years Eve and that is why I am feeling so guilty. I have not given you any background. My husband suffers from a disease called Crohn’s disease. It is a disease that affects the small intestine. Due to this disease he takes multiple pills throughout the course of the day. One of these pills is a steroid and the other is an anti-inflammatory drug that affects your immune system. He gets everything that anyone has. Only he gets it worse. He suffers from multiple allergies and many other ailments. One of the side effects of Crohns disease is that the small intestine is not able to process calcium the ways yours and mine do, so his kidneys take a brunt of the calcium deposits and cause him to have multiple kidney stones throughout the course of the year. This year they were pretty big .4mm in size was the big one.

We have been married for 18 years now, and in that time I can tell you that there has not been one summer vacation, one special occasion, one holiday or trip that I had made plans for that my husband has not been sick.

The first year we were married he developed a kidney stone the day of my grandmother’s funeral. No shit! Mind you he didn’t come to my grandmother’s funeral because he HAD TO work. The next week we were going on a white water rafting trip and he was still very sick.

The following year when I became pregnant and threw up for 9 ½ months he developed “the worse allergies ever”. He was sick more than me.

He had his perfectly healthy appendix removed the night of our big Church fair.

His small intestine perforated the week I decided to take a vacation with my friend Lynne and the kids.

He had multiple infections in his scrotum hence the reason they finally removed one of his testicles, because they thought it had a cancerous growth.

He has been hospitalized through all of my pregnancies.

But the funny thing is…he is never sick during hunting season, Boy Scout Camping weekends, Martin Luther King weekend (his birthday) or when he has a gun show that he wants to go to.

So again, I don’t want to sound like I don’t sympathize with the man when he doesn’t feel well. But he ALWAYS DOESN’T FEEL WELL.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Monday Monday, so good to me...

Heavens to Betsy, mergatroid, or what ever your pleasure. It is Monday again, but this time it is the crazy Monday. The back to work with everyone here, Monday. I tried catching up on some of the blogs I missed over the last few days, but work called, and called and called. Don’t get me wrong, I love being busy. This is also not an excuse for not visiting the blogs or posting before 5 pm on a Monday. Who does that sort of thing? Me, that’s who.

I wanted to let everyone in the blogosphere that the year 2010 has already started out well.

Today, I post some great things that have happened to me lately.

We have a tenant. Back up here sister, wwwhatattt! Why have we not heard anything about this before? Yes, my husband and I own a two family home and rely immensely on the income of our first floor apartment being rented. We have been without the income of the first floor since August. It has been tough, I mean really tough. Our mortgage payment is what I make in a month. My honey is a truck driver and does not make a ton of money but it is less then what I make. So figure that out.

Money difficulties are not something we are a stranger to. We manage; we eat a lot of pasta and soups made from leftovers. We do it and the kids are well adjusted for it. Well that headache is over.

My insurance company that I have been fighting now since the Monday before Christmas has finally decided that my car is totaled and listened to me, yes, I said listened to me, when I said my car was worth more that what they were willing to give to me, and adjusted the amount that they are willing to give me. Anybody got a car they are selling?

My kids LOVED all of their Christmas presents. Butter’s only complaint this year was that he really could have used a new toothbrush. What! I’ll go buy him a new toothbrush, silly boy. Peanut has a job shoveling for a little old lady around the corner and has really stepped up to the plate. This boy is the sweetest little boy in the whole wide world and he drives ME crazy. I mean bat shit crazy! ARGH! Thirteen year old hormones raging through his body have a tendency to make me put a boot up his you know whatsy, or through the perfect set of teeth that he has. But lately, like the last week, he has been back to his sweet self, all huggy and squeezy and Georgy like.

My husband has been a doll and a half, maybe he is reading my blog, and got the hint.

My Christmas went off without hitch. My New Years Eve was amazingly fun! I like my job right now. I am getting on the ball and getting healthy again. WoW! I am looking forward to getting my life organized and on track. Holy crow Batman! 2010 is my year.