Recently, I received an email from a friend that I had not heard from in a while and it was a forwarded email. I almost deleted it completely and then decided to read it first. It was an email that I have received on many different occasions about friends. Friends come into your life for a season or a reason. Later as the week went on I started thinking a little more about “my” friends.
This might surprise you but I don’t have many IRL GIRL friends. I get along better with men. This is for many different reasons but I started thinking about the “friends” that I have had and what makes a “friend”. Well, as my ADDOS would have it, I went on quite a tangent and realized that by definition my “boy” friends have made me the person that I am today.
Every friend of mine serves a purpose in my life and since I was not much of a dater, I didn’t have a lot of “boy” friends. I really only had 3. I had other guys that I “dated” once or twice but the majority of them either were not worth my mental energy or they ended up being one of my “better” life friends.
A good friend of mine described her past relationships in relation to the Wizard of Oz. She claimed that she had to date her Scarecrow, Tin Man and her Cowardly Lion before she found her Wizard. I think that is the case with me. The only difference is that as I looked at my past and knowing that the Wizard was the one I had at home, I realized that I did not date them but they dated me. I was their Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion before they entered my life and because of them I have become the Wizard I am today.
So let me go a little into my past and tell you about the Scarecrow time in my life.
I will be the first to admit it when I say that when it comes to booksmarts I am a little lacking on that side. I have a tendency to develop a brain cramp when I have to write or talk about anything intelligent. I am a whiz with numbers though. If it were possible to live a life with just algebraic equations, it would be the life for me. Seriously folks, 2 plus 2 will always be 4 no matter which way you look at it. So for me, it was very difficult to “talk” to guys. Bring in my “Brain”.
I could while away the hours, conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain.
And my head I'd be scratchin' while
my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.
I'd unravel every riddle for any individ'le,
In trouble or in pain.
With the thoughts you'll be thinkin'
you could be another Lincoln
If you only had a brain.
Oh, I could tell you why The ocean's near the shore.
I could think of things I never thunk before.
And then I'd sit, and think some more.
I would not be just a nothin' my head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain.
I would dance and be merry, life would be a ding-a-derry,
If I only had a brain.
I was in the middle of a relationship with the “TinMan” portion of my life, if you can call it that at the age of 16, when I became very attracted to another “boy”. This boy and I could laugh at things and cry about things. I could sit and discuss my life in so many aspects and never feel like I was not smart. He helped me through some tough mental obstacles and was there to listen when I needed a shoulder to lean on. To this day, when I am talking to this person, I truly feel like he is listening. That is not something you can say about most men but in truth it is that way with him.
When you are 16 and insecure about your self, which I believe most 16 year olds are, it is nice to find the “friend” who helps you realize that no matter how you feel about your intelligence, you are indeed smart and witty and can hold a conversation without stuttering over words. I did not marry this man but did indeed overcome the feeling that I had a head full of stuffing. And to this day, I dance and be merry.
Fast forward to 2010 and I am raising a 16 year old, I am no longer that shy girl afraid of real conversations. I have moved on through my life and have a met a few people who have made me feel stupid. I have worked for others who have made me feel inferior intellectually. I have had “friends” that I have purposely lost because I don’t enjoy that feeling of having the lower hand. I have gained and lost more friends now than I did when I was that age and have learned a lot of life lessons, but for my “friends” out there now that help me with Scarecrow feeling that I have, I very much appreciate all of you.