Monday, November 30, 2009

I am soo tired...

I posted the other day about how emotionally tired I was.  Today seems like a flashback to 2003.  I am dragging today. My eyes won’t stay open and I have forgotten what this is like. I hear my friends talk about their little ones not sleeping through the night and I think regularly “I am so glad to be over that stage”. Well, last night, that was not the case. I went and played cards with some friends and came home just about 11:15 or so. Jelly was nervous about school the next day and had wanted to take a shower…at 11:15p…and couldn’t do it by himself. Peanut was OUTCOLD in bed and Butter was making some pretty weird noises. I set up Jelly and went to find Butter. He was shivering and moaning. The poor kid was sick. His throat hurts. The medicine tastes awful. Whine, whine, and more whine…and hubby was sleeping through it all. I miss being the mom at home but he’s on vacation this week. So under the “hang shelves in kitchen” is take Butter to doctor, and next to me in bed was a sick little boy who insists on thrashing around until my breasts hurt.


I have made a decision about my life these last few days and promise to keep you updated with the changes as they come … but watch out world this bubble just might blow within the next few days.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

A new week to look forward to...

What a beautiful Sunday!  I woke up this morning to a bright sunny morning.  It has been over a week since I have seen the sun.  Everyday the weather man/woman has said it will be partly cloudy and it has not been partly sunny.

It has given me a sense of a new beginning and hope for the up and coming week.  Hubby is on vacation this week and started a list of all the things he is going to do while he is home alone.  My shelves that I have been waiting three years to be hung will be hung.  My little things that I call MINE will be added to the house. 

I put out on Facebook friday that I was looking for friends to spend my birthday evening with and got one response.  We went to dinner and then played pool.  We had such a nice time.  I missed my friend for many years and actually like Facebook for bringing us back together.

I woke to the opportunity to smile for the rest of the day and I am going to grab it.  Hope you all have a SUNNY DAY too!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

It's my Birthday and I am tired...


I turned 41 today.  I woke up at the normal time and did what I normally do every morning.  I just jumped in the shower and realized as I was shaving my legs, I am tired.

Physically tired can be explained lately with everything that has been going on in my life, but I am emotionally tired as well.

I am tired of not being able to just say yes to anything before checking the balances in the bank.

I am tired of not knowing what is going on in my kid's minds.

I am tired of trying to figure out why my husband has the piss poor attitude he has lately.

I am tired of not being able to just say things in my bubble and have them stay there.

I am tired of technology not working the way it should...i.e. google reader and facebook.

I am tired of the bull shit at work because I have a positive attitude and that means that I must be looking to do someone in.

I am tired of not being able to make my bills and having the phone calls start again.

I am tired of #3 brother and his traumatic bull crap that has to upset the family after 10 years of not wanting to have anything to do with us.

I am tired of the sandwich generation position that I am in right now. 

I am tired of listening to people tell my how bad their life is and how they don't want to go on.

I am tired of listening to the bones creak when I bend down to pick something up.

I am tired of the 20 pounds I cannot seem to loose.

I am tired of the fighting between the younger two.

I guess what I am trying to say is ... "it's my birthday and I will cry if I want to."

Friday, November 27, 2009

Boys and Bones


A friend once asked me how I stay so calm in these kind of situations and I have to say I truly believe it is from experience...truth be told, I then loose it on someone and they become "my" shoulder to lean on.

I have three boys.  When I was pregnant with Butter, Peanut tripped over a pillow and broke his foot on the rung of my parents rocking chair.  Freak accident for sure and my husband was at home swapping ice bags every 30 minutes so he was of no help.  I kicked it into mother gear and rushed the kid to the doctor's office.  It was not fun but I did what needed to be done.  Just about a year later, Peanut was at the top of a playground and decided he didn't want to be there so he jumped.  He broke his ankle that time.  About three years later, we were at the ball field and Butter was on the same playground.  While I was watching Peanut get a hit and run to first base, Butter was falling from the playground with his hand in between the rungs of a ladder.  He broke his radius and his ulna in one clean swoop.  That was a blast to boot.  7 months later, Peanut (yes this is the third one and I don't know why DSS has not been at my door) went roller blading with the cub scouts, fell and fractured his elbow.

Up until then Jelly had lived in a bubble.  He had never had a broken bone or stitches.  Butter fixed that in one action.  He slammed the door or Jelly's foot as he was walking out of the house one day.  Broken toe and 4 stitches.

Imagine my surprise when on Tuesday afternoon I got a call from the nurse from the school where Jelly attends.  This call came in about 2:30 in the afternoon, 5 minutes before the bus rolls.  She wanted to tell me that Jelly had been given ice and ibuprofin but a call to the doctor might be necessary.  Jelly "may have a broken hand".  I am getting pretty sick of calls at work that aren't good news.  In case I have not mentioned this before, I work an hour from home.

Hubby brought him in.  It was broken.  A boxers break.




"How did this happen" you might ask?  He punched a wall.  "Why did he punch a wall?" you might be asking now.  Because he was frustrated and didn't want to punch the kid who called him a name.  "Why would this have upset him so much that he would have been so mad that he punched something hard enough to break a bone?"

Jelly's roomates at the skills competition, that I brought him to on Sunday, got caught with drugs in the room.  They have a zero policy for drugs or alcohol.  The roommate told them all that it was his and his roommates didn't even know that it was there.  They kicked all the kids,in the room, out of the competition, even though they were not in the room when it happened.

My mother bear instincts have been in overdrive lately.  Jelly cried and cried.  I have not seen this kid cry in at least 4 years.  He was so upset that he started swearing and calling the roommate all sorts of "F" words.  Come to find out, Jelly was in a room with a bunch of seniors, he only knew one of them.  Because Jelly was a sophmore and sophmores are very rarely invited to participate in this type of competition, he was place with seniors.  WTF CHUCK!  Who puts sophmores in with seniors?  Well, those not so bright people at the school, who do not have kids and had no where else to put a sophmore.  I wish I had known this ahead of time, but I didn't.  I also wasn't thinking the next day when I sent him to school.  I am an idiot! That in itself is not up for discussion, but I know it is partially my fault.

Thursday, Jelly goes in for surgery.  They will be putting pins in the bone.  It will look something like this.



Why did I sleep for over 10 hours on Wednesday night?  Maybe because I have been toasted and needed to sleep it off.  Now I am ready for anything.   Bring on the WEEKEND!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving to ALL!

This is Thanksgiving with my family in a nutshell!  Enjoy it all...


Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Stick-it to ya!

Well everyone, it is Tuesday again. You know what that means.



Hosted by Supah, I bring you my stickie notes.

Last week I posted from home and had a biatch of a time making it work.  Since I am back in the grove, I posted from another location today.

My mind is everywhere but where it is supposed to be so I hope it is not too confusing for you!











Now, that you have seen mine, make sure you check out everyone elses.  They are AWESOME!

Monday, November 23, 2009

MeMe Monday? Thankful for?

MeMe?



and




Trying something new. Last week was such a bust with the stick-its that I am hoping this goes through okay.


Supah made me do it. Through her strong arm tactics and brutal force, I have decided that I will finally let people know what I am thankful for. Only four things is the rule, and I plan on sticking to it.







#1 I am thankful for Thanksgiving. If 41 years ago, there was no Thanksgiving, I would have just been a 10 pound turkey without any funny stories to go along with it.


#2 I am thankful for my husband and children. Without them, I would just be “me” - without all the other hats to wear. Who likes the same ole’, same ole’…not me? My hubby gets up every morning and makes me my coffee, does a load of laundry and plans the evening meal. My boys help with the laundry and the dusting, will make dinner and do the dishes, and make me smile when I come home. I love being a wife and mother, I guess that is the real thankful part.


#3 I am thankful for my health. 4 years ago I woke up and smelled the coffee. I planned on getting healthy so that I can enjoy life. I am happy to be able to get out of bed in the morning and feel the pain that I have inflicted upon my body to get healthy. It means I am ALIVE!


#4 I am thankful for my family. Without them I would have never gone into the bubble. Without them, I would have boring holidays and family get-togethers and would have nothing to write about. Without them it would be a different world all together.


The problem with doing this is that I am thankful for so many other things as well that to narrow it down to 4 is nearly impossible. Some days I feel like the movie star accepting my award and going on and on saying, “I would like to thank… and I need to thank…”


Maybe tomorrow I can make the post-its work to thank some more…or maybe not!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Perfection?

Last Saturday I went to a meeting for Confirmation preparation for my Jelly. This was a parent/candidate meeting, so all the parents and teens were there. I was taking Peanut and Jelly to a play immediately following the meeting so both of my oldest were with me. As the meeting started the confirmation teacher got up in front of the group and told us all there were 5 common misconceptions (myths) about raising children these days.


The first is that a family is a democracy. This is most definitely a myth. There HAS to be a voice of authority in every family. It is not up to the children as to what they will or should do. It is the parent who should be putting their foot down and say yes or no or even this is the way it is going to be.

The second is that the children are the center of the family. She explained that this is definitely a myth. Parents need to take some time together. They should give each other sometime every day where each of them has each other’s undivided attention. Sometimes that means picking a time of the week for date night.

The third myth is that parents should do all the housework. Big NONO! Children should be doing chores. Children should have responsibilities for everyday work such as the dishes, making their bed, cleaning their rooms, vacuuming, dusting and such.

The fourth one was on the idea that children should not have responsibilities. I know this started some controversy but I don’t remember why. She gave an example of every child should be able to go to the grocery store and be able to shop for a week and provide themselves with a week’s worth of food that would be healthy and nutritious.

The last was that children should not have to experience frustration. This is where she got all excited and explained that if you let your children win every game, if you do your child’s homework that they don’t get, if you are that parent who goes to the school insisting that your child should be able to retake the test or not be penalized for turning in their homework late. You are not raising a strong and healthy child.

My kids elbowed my through the entire speech. They giggled and giggled. At the end of the speech, the teacher asked Peanut why he thought this was amusing. With a big smile on his face, he stood up and said, “I guess I didn’t think that I had a perfect mother but I guess I was wrong”.

I am not perfect, this I know for sure! It is nice to know that I am doing something right.


Jelly left today for three days. He is spending the beginning part of the week at Skills USA competition. Out of a school of over 700 students, only 12 were picked by the teachers as the tops in their class and shop skills. Joe is one of only 5 sophomores in the history of the school participation participating. I am so proud of him. He told me today, on the way to the school, that he was nervous and has been for a few weeks now. It has been bothering him that if he doesn’t do well he will disappoint the teacher that nominated him. I am so proud of this kid. Even if he doesn’t want to look at me when I try and take his picture. I told him it was because I would miss him. He told me he would miss me too, but I was only going to miss him more, because it was his week to do the dishes. MY CHEST SWELLS WITH PRIDE! Maybe I am perfect.


(this is the best I could get as they were driving away)

Saturday, November 21, 2009

My Heart is a SWELLING!

I don't do things to be awarded.  I don't do things to be patted on the back.  But BOY DOES IT FEEL GOOD! 

Tamara over at Over the Homespun Hedge thought me good enough to be given an award.  This award was given to me by her and she let me know.  It is a special HEARTFELT AWARD.


I am still new at all of this and feel like I don't deserve it but want to give my HEARTFELT thanks to Tamara for thinking of me.

THANK YOU!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Love? or Indigestion?

Warning to all-this one is a little mushy!


"Love," Paul says, "never fails" (1 Cor. 13:8 NIV).

I am not a throw my religion in your face kind of person. I do get an email everyday that helps me through some tough times and lately the daily word has been right on target.

I am not afraid to use the word love. I never have been. I tell my children every day as they are walking out the door, “I love you, be a good boy”. When I speak with my husband, mother, in-laws, brothers, friends, and even once the UPS man (totally out of habit and on a very strong lack of sleep), I tell them that I love them when I am leaving them or hanging up the phone. I feel that a day could go bye that you don’t let someone know and it could have been your last chance. Why chance it?

Recently, there have been a few instances that have come up in my life where that love is sadly misunderstood and I have even been accused of not loving some anymore. That is not the case. I love you! I really do. I just can not or could not deal with the situation and needed to remove myself from it.

L-from NY…I never have stopped loving you. When you moved and the horror of the past few years happened it did not make me stop loving you. I hurt when you hurt; it saddens me that you have lost everything. I just can not listen to you tell me you are going to take your life. I can not deal with the depression. It sucks me in and I can not live like that. I can be a shoulder to cry on but not an enabler. Please do not ask me to understand why you have nothing to live for, I cannot be that person.

D- I still love you and miss you. I do not know what I did; I didn’t do it on purpose if that is what you think. I was busy, not busy like my hands were tied but really busy. I worked and then worked and then was a mom and then dropped into bed and started the whole routine all over again the next day, for 9 straight months. I did not have time for hour long phone conversations. You didn’t live that far away and I could work and talk, just not on the phone, my hands were full.

P- I love you, I do. Just not that way. I am sorry that you feel as though my love means that, but it doesn’t. I would give my right arm to have the friendship back. I have friends that I love more than anything and would do anything for, within reason. Jealousy does not become you and you have nothing to be jealous about. Why can’t I love more than one person?

Love is love. It is a feeling that cannot be explained. It is pain and joy at the same time. Being “in love” is something completely different. I love my husband and I am in love with my husband. I have for so long. I miss him. I miss the time we don’t get to spend together. I cannot imagine what my life would be like without him. He still turns me on. He is the light of my life. My husband has been my best friend for well over 20 years. I can tell him anything and be his support. I can lean on him one minute and take a bullet for him the next. He drives me crazy and I am sure, without a doubt, the feeling is mutual.

Well, now that is all off my chest, the important thing here is to know is that even when I am spewing crap in the bubble, I LOVE MY FAMILY. I LOVE MY FRIENDS. I just need somewhere to vent.

Love you!

-MaeRae

P.S. Special lovings going out to my top 5! I have you in my prayers today and every day.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Starting with the Christmas spirit

As I start this post today, I need to take a quick moment to remind my readers that this is my bubble. You don’t have to agree with me or like what I say; I just write what I write. If you like the music you can turn it on, if you don't you don't need to do anything at all.


December 12th is not Christmas. December 25th is Christmas. I can even agree with the theory that you can celebrate Christmas on December 24th, if that is what you family gathering time is. But, I don’t think in all my 40+ years Christmas ever fell on December 12th.


I received an invitation to celebrate Christmas on December 12th yesterday. This invitation did not come from the workplace. This invitation did not come from a group of friends wanting to get together to exchange gifts. This invitation came from #5. Excuse me? I am pretty sure for all of my life we have gotten together on December 25th, Christmas Day. Now I am about to SPEW my feelings all over this blog.


WTF! Grow up! The world does not revolve around YOU! As a 37 year old, divorced, childless, GROWN UP, what makes you think that you can change something that has always been because you feel as though your multiple pierced, f-ed up, chickaletta with multiple issues of her own should be a part of the family tradition? All because she is not going to be around on the 25th, so let’s move things up a few weeks?


I.AM.NOT.GOING! I am not making my family go. I am not even going to tell them about it. I have better things to do with my time then go and stand around your house (because you have no where to sit because your dogs destroyed every piece of furniture in your house) and deal with the smell (because your cat is allowed to urinate and defecate all over your basement) on a Saturday two weeks before Christmas. I don’t like this woman. I don’t like her attitude. I don’t like the fact that just two weeks ago I watched as she attempted to piss you off so bad that you stormed out of a crowded bar, and then LAUGH, yes LAUGH because she was able to accomplish what she had set out to do. I don’t like that in the middle of a crowded bar she was grabbing your crotch and caressing your body like you were in bed RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER. ICK! EW! GROSS! and then dump your ass for not showing her physical affection in public.



Okay, that being said, I can regress. Maybe I have a little built up anger. Maybe I am still upset about things that were said a few years back about your past and how it has affected all of us. Maybe I lost all sense of sympathy for you when you decided to throw away your life and become miserable to be around. Then again, maybe I am a BIATCH! We will go with the last one.



#5 has just hit another level in the FUN meter of my already dysFUNctional family. And the best part is I finally have decided that I don’t care if I piss them off…as long as I keep it in my little bubble.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Can u splane somtin to me?

Maybe I am out of touch with the world.  Maybe I just don't see it.  But can someone please explain to me why GROWN women, I am not talking early 20's here ladies, women in their 30's and 40's are so HOOKED on a teenager, who everything I hear about is a slob, that they need to re-arrange their lives in order to see him at midnight on Thursday-Friday. (Wow did that sentence go on an on-chicken)

I read the books.  I read all of the books.  I even went on line and read the portion of the book Stephanie did not finish.  I even enjoyed the books.  I really enjoyed the books.  But why would it be a situation where you need to camp out and make special clothes in order to go see the premiere of a movie.  We are not 17 anymore people.  Splane that one 2 me will ya!



I think back to a few years ago (okay don't be a smartie and google it) I read Summer of My German Soldier and then saw the movie as part of a class assignment.  We even met Bette Greene the author and I have a signed copy of the book.  I loved the book-HATED the movie.  The movie destroyed it for me.  I had a picture in my mind as to what the room above the garage looked like and then the movie came out and I decided that I would never read a book and then see the movie and vice a versa.

I don't know, maybe I am the only one in the world that does not see the draw.  Or maybe, I am not a vampire fan and think that it would be cool to meet a wolf man.  Or maybe, I am missing some sort of female gene that captures these types of things.

Have a great one!

P.S. I follow a blog that I was reading today and it told me to turn off my music.  What is your opinion?  Keep or go!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Things I would like to say...

I just spent about an hour posting the Stick-it notes brought to you by Supah and yet I have had no luck.

I should have known there was going to be an issue, when I looked at my weekly calendar and the rest of the week says W-T-F!

I spent some quality time with my family this weekend and some of what we did was shop.  My boys absolutely LOVE TO SHOP.  I, personally, DO  NOT LOVE IT!  For me shopping is a slow form of torture.  I like to make a list and stick to it.  Go to the grocery store and get out within a 1/2 hour.  Shop with my husband and children and it becomes a 2 hour trip.  We went to the TWO LETTER STORE and spent almost 3 hours there.  They tried all the samples, looked at all the holiday things on display, played with all the computers, checked out all the toys and drove me crazy.  My post it for this was "Thank you BJ's for a full fridge" but that is all I can sum up for that store.

Work has been really busy the past few days and so my Google reader makes me want to cry.  I can not catch up.  But I don't want to miss anything either. So tonight I will be reading and responding. My Post it for this one was "Work-go away-my Google reader is calling"

I tutor on Tuesday nights.  I tutor math.  I have a woman that I have been tutoring for over a year on college math.  She has refused to take the test and keeps making me repeat the same lessons over and over.  I can't do it anymore.  My post it for her was "C-take the test or I am going to start charging per session".

My ADODYSTC is acting up now so I need my quiet time in front of the only show I watch all week.

Biggest Looser-if you are not a fan, you are missing out.

Have a great night everyone!

Monday, November 16, 2009

What did the chicken say...

For those of you who don't know me IRL then let me give you a little background.  I suffer from adult ADD.  My doctor's office told me a few years back that I don't, in fact his quote was, "there is no sense testing you, you are a mother of three boys, every mother has a form of ADD"

I have taken my affliction one step further and called it ADHDYSTC.  It stands for Attention Deficit Hey Did You See That Chicken.  I cannot keep one train of thought for very long and have a tendency to see a chicken.  My dad once told me that if I could just get the right coop I would be fine, but lately it seems as though my chickens are of the "free range" sort. Try and keep up with this post it is all over the place.

A few days ago I posted that I was offended at the parent/teacher conferences, when in actuality it was more like I was offended way before but I needed to reiterate to someone else that I was.  Now a little more about the offending statement.

I am a "BAD!" person.  I smoke.  I have had this bad habit for about 25 years and would like to quit, it is just not easy.  I have seriously cut down - to less than 5 a day.  I am again trying to quit.  It has been 2 days.
I DO NOT SMOKE IN FRONT OF MY KIDS.  I never have, it is my bad habit not theirs, why should they suffer.  I never smoke in my house or allow others to either.  Any who...enough about that.

I took a vacation with my mom back in September, and while I was away Butter wrote a story about me in school.  It was titled My Awesome Mom...It went something like this

My mom is awesome. She has a great job at a company called BLAH BLAH BLAH.  My mom is addicted to FaceBook.  My mom smokes weed.  My mom is on vacation right now, I cannot wait for her to come home so I can give her a big hug.  I love my mom.

Yes people you read it right.  After all who isn't an awesome mom who smokes weed?

The long story of it all is that when the teacher read the story she freaked and contacted the guidance counselor.  Who, in turn, called me about it AT WORK! The guidance counselor started the conversation with can I read you the story your son wrote about you.  I said sure and she started the story.  When she got to the weed part my jaw dropped.  What was I supposed to say, my jaw was on the ground? Then because I was not a quick with a response of  "OH MY WHATEVER!", my silence and awe must have been a sign that I was in deed "smoking weed in front of my children".  I asked to call her back on my cell phone from outside where I could at least respond without all my coworkers hearing.




I had a discussion with my son.  It seems as though during a TV session with his big brothers watching "That 70's Show", he asked his big brother what weed was and the big brother thought quick on his feet LIED! and told his brother it was tobacco.  Hence, I am an awesome mom, i smoke weed.

My son was devastated that he told the teacher I smoke drugs and started to cry.  I sat with him for over an hour talking to him about how important it is to talk to mom and dad about things he didn't know the meaning of.  I told him the important thing is that you don't use words in sentences that you are not sure of the meaning of.  He then went on about other words he did not know the meaning of and asked me what Muff meant.

Now, tell me this, how do you explain to an 8 year old what a MUFF is?  Yup, that was on the show too.

That is the offended part of my story.  I told the teacher that I appreciated everything that she did.  I know that it is a mandated reporter thing.  But I also wanted to let her know it upset me that because I was silent should not have given the guidance counselor the right to accuse me.  Oh well, another lesson learned.





Saturday, November 14, 2009

Super Saturday

It is done.  The apartment is finally done.  I cleaned the rest of the cabinets and the bathroom is pretty and shiny but that is how I spent the most of my day.

About 3 months ago, my tenants told me that they were moving out.  Hey, that happens, right?  Well they moved out on September 30th and it took my this long to clean the apartment.  I will post pictures tomorrow but had to post something about it today so I didn't miss a November post.

This is definately a "in the bubble" post.  How can anyone live in filth?  I can understand clutter.  I can understand messes.  But to live in a house for over 22 months and N.E.V.E.R wash the kitchen or bathroom floor.  THAT IS DISGUSTING!

I washed the kitchen floor twice with the mop, once on my hands and knees with the "magic", and then once again with the mop. 

Friday, November 13, 2009

Light and airy...maybe, maybe not.

My week of Parent/Teacher conferences is over!!!!!! 

How exciting is that!   Well, for me pretty exciting.  I learned two major things this year at the P/T meetings.


1.  My kids are geniuses.
2.  My kids don't do their homework.
(I didn't really learn this, but it is what all 5 teachers told me)

I made sure the teachers knew a few things too. 

1.  I don't want my children to get away with the small stuff, they will only try and get away the big stuff later on.
2.  I know my kids are not perfect. 

and the big one ...

I WAS OFFENDED!

nuf said.

Have a GREAT WEEKEND!-MaeRae
 

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Again, Already?

Thursday already?  Wow, this week is going so much faster than I expected it to.  I suppose when you are at your busiest is when you don't seem to have enough time in your week.  I am posting today a little earlier (acutally a whole lot earlier) then yesterday because yesterday I could not find time to stop.

I did something yesterday that I haven't done in for-evah.  I cooked for my family.  Yes, I cooked.  Three weeks back I bought a hotel style turkey breast and yesterday I cooked it.  I even made home made stuffing and two different types of vegetable to go with it.  The best thing evah about the whole deal was that there were no leftovers.  The boys picked the last of the turkey off the bones right there at the table.  There is nothing in the world like that the feeling that you are doing something good for your family and they actually appreciate it.  That being said Butter had to throw one little remark in to hurt like heck.  "Mom, I wish you could be home to cook all the time, not that all your food is good but it is good to see you here."

OUCH!!

I was that SAHM.  I was her, for 13 years.  I miss it.  This past week has made me realize how much.  When I was home all the time, the boys always had their homework done.  When I was at home, no one wondered where thier shirts or pants were.  When I was at home, you could not run your finger across the top of the entertainment system and leave tracks for your hotwheels to drive in.  When I was at home the only calls that came from the school were that some one was sick.  When I was home, I was happier.  When I was home, the phone rang off the hook with bill collectors and when I was at home I cried A LOT because I could not provide.

It was decided three years ago when the kids were all old enough to be in school full time, I would go back to work.  I got a great job that gave us more money to work with on a monthly basis.  Our health insurance was soooo much better.  We bought a house.  That in itself was all worth while.  The feeling that it was ours made all the difference in how much pride we took in it.  We have a new opportunity approaching very soon.  We will be able to build.  I will be able to wake up every morning to this...



The boys love this place.  This is the view of the water from our summer camp.  We spend every summer in a 500 sq ft camp with no shower and no hot water.  It is heaven on this piece of land we call Earth.  It is joy for the boys.




They live in the water from spring to fall and I could not imagine not allowing this to happen.  It hurts to not be home but how can I refuse them this?




LOOK AT THAT!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

To the Veteran's Everywhere.

It has been a long day, today.  I didn't even get on to post my blog until just now.  Why, because there was much to do.  Cleaning, tutoring, cooking, and getting the kids to do their projects.  A day off is not necessarily a good thing for the blogging world.  Then I started to think.  Why do we have the ability to do what we do?  It is because of all the veterans who have fought for our FREEDOMS. 

The Freedom of Speech

I have a special veteran I would like to thank right now, not just for what he has done for our country, but what he has stood for the past few years.  He has stood for strength through adversity, he has stood for what he believes in, he has stood for me in two tours, and he is modest about them all.

Five years ago, #8 lost the love of his life.  #8SIL was 27 years old and diagnosed with a rare form of cancer.  Rare, because usually it attacks adolescent boys, not 26 year old women.  She fought a very long battle with her soldier by her side.  When she finally decided to give up the fight she told #8 not to give up his.  She wanted him to continue on without her, finish school, get a Masters, be the best soldier he could be and most of all, she wanted him to LOVE.

#8 buried his wife and then went on to serve in the war.  He did a tour in Kuwait and then another tour immediately after in Korea.  He retired from the service and returned home.  He returned home 6 days before finding out that my dad had a rare form of liver cancer.  He sold the house he and his love bought together and moved back to Massachusetts.  He hooked up with a WHACKJOB! He took a crappy job just to have one and then proceeded to slip into what most would consider the dark hole.

#8 pulled out!  He stuck out his neck and talked.  He spent a few months looking for a better life.  He bought a house, he dumped the WHACKJOB (the night before he moved) and he started looking for a better job.  On #8SIL's birthday this year, #8 got a call.  The Air Force wanted him back.  They wanted him to take a job in Massachusetts very similar to the one he had in the service and he decided to go back and join the Reserves. 

I see too many times, stories on the news of the boys that don't come home.  I see too many posts on the internet about how awful this war is.  I hear to many people complaining about the trouble the country is in and I am tired of it all. 

Why are we able to post?  Why are we able to broadcast on the television what we "think" about?  Why are we able to bitch and complain?  It is because of our HEROES!  They fought for our FREEDOMS.  They fought for us even when they were fighting their own battles.  For this

Thank You, Veterans, for ALL you do!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Wasn't gonna do it...

The idea is to sum it up in a neat little post it note...Hosted by Supah!






Monday, November 9, 2009

You're My Best Friend!




I woke up this morning on time.  I got in the car to go to work, a little early.  I made it to work 1/2 hour late.  Darn traffic.  But while in the car this morning I realized that not since 1990 have I ever been on time on November 9th.  Eighteen Years AGO today! Yes, Today! I became my best friend's wife.  Eighteen years ago today I arrived on time to the hair dressers to find out that she had no bobby pins.

WHAT! A hairdresser with no bobby pins.  What kind of hair dresser has a party of 6 coming in for up-dos and has NO MF bobbypins.  Well aparently MINE!  The owner of the shop started calling around to her other hairdressers to save mine from the wrath of the bride and luckily MRS. C came to the rescue.  She ran to the store before coming in.  So of course the BRIDE, who should have been the first to be done, was the last to be done.  This made me 1/2 hour late home for the photographer.  This made me late to the church.   My dad used to tell me that I would be late to my own funeral.  I have decided that is the truth if it happens to be on November 9th.

But he married me anyway.  He still spoils me rotten.  He still makes me smile.  He still is okay with the fact that I came with the FAM FROM HADES.  He still ROCKS.MY.WORLD!  He is my best friend.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Thank You!

When started posting I thought about many things that I would need to get off my chest that if I said out loud might upset those that I love.  One thing about me is that I don't like to show much but pleasant emotion outwardly.  Lately though, it has been hard because there have been so many things going on in my life that I have not been able to control. 

I have always believed that if I put things in His hands and let Him be my guide, He will show me the way. 

Since I was a little girl, Footprints has been my all time favorite poem.  I have been carried many times. 


He has, once again, helped me through by giving me hope and guidance.  For this, I thank You.

It is You that continues to be my Light and my Guidance.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Sitting around on a Saturday

Sitting with my feet up is something that I N.E.V.E.R do.  Even after a long day at work, I cannot come home and relax.  I wish it were something that I can do but my body just doesn't let me.  Years ago I was told by a woman I worked with that the way to handle the evening was to enjoy a glass of wine while cooking dinner.  So I tried it.  Needless to say, it worked the first day but after the third day and my husband came home to a boiling pot of hot water and the table half set.  I realized that it was not something my overloaded brain would allow.  But I regress.

We handled the homework issue this morning.  It took less than two hours to finish the two months worth of missing homework assignments and the project that is due on Monday.  Then I brought his sorry behind back to the campout so that he could finish his responsibilities there.  So here I am alone, again, all weekend.

Still not loving it.  I thought about getting myself something to drink and sit by the TV with a movie that no one else will watch with me when they are home.  But there is nothing on the tube.  I have gone through the kids coats and pulled out the ones that don't fit to donate to Coats for Kids.  I have gone to the store and bought three very expensive pairs of pants for a picky 8 year old that keeps getting taller but not heavier. (Did you know that almost nowhere sells elastic waist pants in size 8).  I came home and cleaned the kitchen.  I am sitting here by the computer trying to think of something to do and it just won't come to me. 

I guess I realized that growing up in a house full of people and having three children and a husband of my own, I DON'T DO ALONE TIME well.  The only plus side of this weekend is that every time I have gone in to the bathroom I have been at peace.  Not one person has come and knocked on the door.

Happy Saturday People! 

Friday, November 6, 2009

Two posts in one day? Is that allowed?


REPORT CARDS!  They are my least favorite thing in the world.  I hated them as a kid and I hate them more as a parent.  My blood boils whenever one comes into my house. 

I need to start by saying...I wasn't snooping.  I am not above it when I am concerned but this was an intentional
me: "Hey, did you guys get report cards today?"
Peanut: "oh yeah, mine is in my backpack." (on the way out the door for a weekend camping trip)
me: "okay, I am going to get it so I can sign it and it will be ready for Monday"
Peanut: "okay, I love you."
Big huge hug and out the door they all went.

I went to get the report card.  What did I find?  Two failing grades, sixteen (yes 16) papers requiring parental signatures, and...A PROJECT DUE ON MONDAY!

WTF!

Peanut is coming home early.

I guess I didn't want a weekend alone and I got what I wanted.  I just wish it were not for this reason.  Luckily for him, Dad is bringing him home first thing in the morning so I can cool off before he gets here.

in the bubble maerae, in the bubble...

The "END" is here

Friday (insert a big sigh here), the end of a work week and the beginning of a weekend.

I look forward to the weekend.  I don't usually plan things in advance and that is one of the great things about the weekend.  This weekend however, I do have plans.  The only downfall is that I am doing it by myself.



I started this blog to get my mental ramblings down so that they don't spew at the wrong person at the wrong time.  I needed a place to put myself in that even if poked, it wouldn't matter.  I am not the type of person who neither takes negativity to heart nor am I the type who thrives on listening to gossip.  I just want to be me, the positive force in MY world, who can smile at adversity and still get through the day. 



I do however occasionally need to BIT...H.



This Monday, November 9, I will be celebrating my 18th wedding anniversary.  My husband and children are going camping for the weekend.  Yes, all of them.  I will be all by myself.  I will sleep in my bed, all by myself.  I will be dining-BY MYSELF.  I agreed to babysit for my brothers children Saturday night...by myself.  Most people would think this was a blessing.  Most would even say that they would love some peace and quiet.  I, however, am not one of those people.  I want to go to dinner with my husband.  I want to make a big breakfast to celebrate 18 years.  I want to do something!  But alas, it is not going to happen so I will try and make the best of it.



That being said I wish everyone the greatest of weekends!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Thankful Thursday?

I read others blogs on a regular basis and have seen a lot of "Thankful Thursdays" and so I thought that I would start with that today.

I am thankful for my life.  There have been many things over the last few years that have come up in various parts of my life and recently I have been reminded of many things that I should be VERY THANKFUL for.

I am thankful that I don't depend on drugs or alcohol to get me through my day.
I am thankful that I can smile at the adversities in my life rather than dig a hole I cannot get out of.
I am thankful that I have a loving husband.
I am thankful that we can talk about things going on in our life rather than shut down and ignore the problems until they get so bad that we don't speak at all.
I am thankful that my children are courteous and caring to others.
I am thankful that there haven't been any trips to the emergency room in a few months (I hope I did not just jinx myself).
I am thankful for the friends that I have and the support that they give me.
I am thankful for the time on Earth that the Lord has given me.
and I am thankful for the fact that I have employment and a steady income so that the children have food and shelter without worries.




About 2 years ago, my husband and I had a yard sale.  An elderly gentleman came and was checking out all the salt and pepper shakers that I had on the table.  He picked them up many times and put them back down shaking his head.  Being the curious one that I am I asked if I could help him with anything.  He told me his wife had just recently passed away and they had been married for 58 years.  She was given a beautiful set of salt and pepper shakers when they got married and started collecting them shortly after.  He knew that she would have liked the ones on the table and he could not decide if he should buy them in her memory or not.  I was crushed.  Talk about a big poke at the bubble.  I honestly wanted to cry.  I told him how sorry I was and understood the dilemma.  He then told me a story that I have lived ever since.

An elderly aunt, who had never married, told him one day after an argument with his wife, that there was only one thing to remember in life.  If you asked the world to put all of their troubles into a basket to get rid of them and then pick out the same amount you would always pick your own.  They are the least of the problems in the world and things could always be worse.

Everyone has their problems; I will keep my own and be thankful that they are not worse.

Happy Hustling Day!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Wow Wednesday already?


Some weeks I wake up on Wednesday morning and think "ugh, it is only Wednesday". Today, however, I am thinking "Crud, it is Wednesday already". It has been a crazy week and I don't seem to have enough time to do all that needs to be done.

A weekend with my family cuts into my time for many reasons. This week I am trying to figure out what to do about my financial and employment situation. #1SIL called on Saturday to tell me that my #1 brother has a great empolyment opportunity that I should take advantage of. It would be more money and 1/2 the commute. It would be working for a major hospital system incorportating the new HIS system they are going to implement. It is right up my alley. I would love the increase in income, I would love to cut my commute time (which is now an hour +) in half, and I would love to be working within a clinical setting again. The only problem. I just got this job.

Three and 1/2 years ago, I took a job that I ended up falling in love with. Can that actually happen? Yes! I got up every morning with excitement for work. I smiled every day going into work. I became very close with all my coworkers. My dad passed away 4 months after I started and the girls I worked with were AWESOME! The patients that I greeted everyday made me love my job even more. When I had my 1st year review, administration gave me an unheard of 5% raise. They were so impressed with the stellar review that they insisted on a 5% instead of the normal 3%. life.was.good

And then it happened...the big boss saw potential and began creating a job for me that would utilize all of my plusses and enhance my already growing knowledge base. The next up boss did not like that. This new position would take me away from her. I became the worse employee ever. I went through 18 months of HEdoubletoothpicks! The women I worked with did not want me to go but could not stand to see me go through what I was going through. They found me this job. It is a great job for a great company and the benefits could not be beat-(family BCBS for $55 a month and $15,000 more a year). I like this job. I like the people I work with. I hate my commute!

Anyway-put the chicken back into the coop-#1 has this job.

In the midst of a very crowded kitchen, he asked me Sunday if I was interested in getting another job. Feed the gossip mill if you will. 20 minutes later I found out more about what I needed to know. Worse case scenerio I would be making between 5-10 thousand more than now with excellent benefits to boot. It was his enthusiasm that makes me wonder. He went on to tell me all these wonderful positions that he had told his FRIENDS about. Who applied for what and who might get what and even who he had recommended to the top people. The only downside...he was not enthusiastic about the thought of me working there (or so it seemed). I would not be working with him. I would not be working for him. I would be working for the same system but that is where it stops. The last thing said was..."let me know if you decide to apply and I will see about recommending you"

Am I supposed to be jumping at this chance. I have been looking at my resume sitting next to me for two days thinking "is it worth the time and effort or is this just another waste of my time?"

Ugh! Wednesday already.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

SuperStickit Tuesday-I am trying







I am still in the learning phase ... learning from the best though.

Hosted by Supah!








Well, I have done it.  You learn something new everyday!